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August 2017

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I want to start keeping tabs on myself regarding progress on my story (ok stories) I am working on, so figure the only way to do that, is to actually do that. LOL.

1. Altered Fates - part one of my epic fantasy - current word count is just over 100k. The outline is about 15k, and at this rate this first book is going to be 400k... a wee bit long, yes? LOL. I don't care - this is my 'for me' book that I really am enjoying sinking back into, the one I've had around in different forms for around 15 years. Who knows what I will do with it in the end but it makes me very happy to think about these characters again. :) The outline is just in Word right now which is difficult to work with so I'm going to start plugging it into Scrivener tomorrow. I realized though as I read through the outline again that my other story (2. below) weaves into it in several important ways, and now I am wondering if I shouldn't weave the two together, removing some of the silly stuff that one writes out of this... Going to consider that, and ponder that further.

2. Song of the Siren - the one that dovetails into the above. Hmmm. The more I think about this, the more I like the idea... Hmmmm... Ponder. Only 6,173 words written so far in this one. Hmmmm....

3. Wayward, my poor dear science fiction story. At 41,292 and complete for now, it is a wretched wordcount, but I do have it figured out how to get the story bumped up into a better wordcount. Science fiction aka the science fiction world continues to freak me out but is freaking me out less with all the good that is coming out of the bad. There are some great people out there determined to make changes, and that is a good thing. I love this genre, have been an avid fan since I was a kid (thanks Dad) but the genre itself has always been such a turnoff because of well, many things. Lots of things. Things I never experienced in the mystery genre, but my heart just isn't in writing mystery. But this story... I love it so much and it WILL get out there eventually.

4. Stage - my first person story I refuse to talk about anywhere because I am guarding it so fiercely - currently going back through my massive dissertation I bought on the particular subject at the root of this story. I finally realized what was wrong with my plot - things happened TO my character. That was it. He did nothing, was just along for the ride! No wonder I just went meh. This one is heavily influenced by my love for Jacqueline Carey's work, will be in first person, and wicked, and has been in my head not as long as 1. above, but about 6 years or so. It needs to live.

Tomorrow the plan is to watch a movie with Nick and Klaudia (we are making our way through all the Oscar nominations and tomorrow is my turn to choose so I am choosing Captain Phillips) then I will walk Maddox for a good hour, then dash to the store and then go hide out in Starbucks, maybe, or somewhere. I need a table to spread out on, and a comfortable chair. Starbucks has new chairs and I question whether they will be comfy - am disappointed they redid the store and took out my favorite bench seating. Will be seeing the son later on...just spent 926 bucks to get his car fixed. SIGH. Not exactly the birthday present he envisioned (and the one he envisioned would've been much cheaper for me! LOL).

Otherwise, that's it - was sick last weekend and Monday and it is gorgeous this weekend, so very much looking forward to the next two days.

Current read: finishing up (I read so slowly) a trilogy written by Stephanie Dray about Cleopatra's daughter, Selene, pretty much set in Rome. I love it. It is supposedly historical fiction but to me it reads historical fantasy because hello, magic, and lots of it. But I love the author's voice (first person) and love stories set in this time period, and am impressed with many things about the storyline and characters... so much so may have to tap thoughts down later. Then I have a friend's book to read next, also about Rome, I am looking very much forward to. :)

Also, I keep thinking of things - will start another Whole 30 next Saturday - my sister and her daughter are coming for a brief visit and well, you know, gotta look good! Plus I just loved doing it before and I have found myself slipping into laziness and eating processed foods again and way too much bread bread beautiful bread how I love you bread... which always makes me feel like crap. LOL. So yeah, a week from tomorrow, whee! Can't wait!

And that is all from me.

In your own space, post a rec for at least three fanworks that you have created. It can be your favorite fanworks that you've created, or fanworks you feel no one ever saw, or fanworks you say would define you as a creator.

I ran across this on [ profile] pir8fancier's lj. She mentioned a couple of her Harry Potter fics and I thought omg, I wrote a couple of HP fanfics ages ago. Many many ages ago. Then I realized...I don't have any copies anymore! Anywhere! So I decided to hunt them down, and get them onto AO3 in case someday I ever want to read them again, or something.

It took a bit of hunting, but I finally found them! Fortunately both were written for fests. I can count on 2 hands the number of fanfics I've ever written (at least before the two fests I did this past year to challenge myself re writing short) - but these two I enjoyed writing very much. So here they are, saved forever now on AO3. Will get the others I found (a Torchwood fic, a Being Human fic) up on AO3 too.

Haven - a Harry/Draco fic. Draco Malfoy has been tried and convicted for his war crimes; only the question of his punishment remains.


Roots - a Neville Longbottom fic. After Gran's death, Neville uncovers a mystery surrounding his parents' past.

Both of these were written in 2007, so before all the books had come out. I recently rewatched all the Harry Potter movies and it made me miss all the HP fun (at least the little that I was involved in). I'm not currently in a fandom and rereading these have made me all nostalgic for the funtimes that being in a fandom brings.

The third fic for this challenge though is a fanfic that touched me deeply, because it was written about two men who were real life lovers, the composer Benjamin Britten and tenor Peter Pears.

Piano e forte

Both are long gone now, but they left behind letters, beautiful, touching letters of their love for each other. When I got them for Yuletide 2009, I was quickly swept up into their world and those letters - the content and the writing style - and absolutely adored bringing them to fictional life. Someday I would love to write a bigger story about them, or loosely based on them.

personal rambles )

And hey LJ, miss you, miss all those who have left here (even though many I still have in other ways). Always think about pouring my heart out here, like I used to, but... just isn't the same anymore. Tend to keep things locked in my head these days. Hunting for these fics took me back to an old lj I had, and I hardly recognize myself in those old posts, the happy bouncy me of old. Kinda makes me sad. Have I let things change so much? Wish I could recapture those times, push aside those things that keep me from the good happy things. Anyway, looking ahead like everyone else to having a good 2014. And like lots of others, glad to put a mostly-stressful year behind me. 2013 wasn't all THAT bad though!
I didn't want to bore the few reading this with 'so this is what I ate today!' as that is, well, boring, so I skipped a couple of days.
a heck of a lot of rambling in here )
Seventh day here, and I have to say this has been the easiest of weeks of dieting. Except it isn't dieting. I have had to deal with headaches, which I rarely, rarely get, but that just tells me that yes there is SOMETHING I am consuming that I needed to get out of my system. Given I am still drinking coffee and tea, it is not caffeine. But I have found several teas that are delicious plain - Constant Comment and Ginger Peach - and am content. After 7 days without sweeteners, I realize I don't miss them. How about that.

Other things I have not had this week - dairy, grains, flours, sugar, sweeteners of any kind, processed foods - everything I have eaten has had one ingredient and grew and lived one way or the other. That sounds a bit barbaric but when I did eat meats or fish I bought the best quality I could, free range, grass fed, hormone-free.

This hasn't been hard at all. I tossed everything out last week and have been eating like this ever since. There has not been one hour or one moment where I have struggled, been hungry, craved anything other than sweet potato but I can eat that so no big deal. There is a lot of variety, I have found to have the best, easiest and most delicious recipes.

So other than headaches, what else have I noticed?

I feel lighter. My stomach is flatter. My rings are loose. My tastebuds are waking up and simple flavors taste amazing. I've learned to make ghee and other things I never thought of before. I find myself pulling my shoulders back and stretching a lot, because my tummy feels light if that makes sense. As the days have gone on I'm finding myself satisfied more easily, finding it easier to just stop eating when I am done. The dogs have liked getting the tidbits! :)

Also - foot pain has decreased with each day. I haven't had any stabbity pain since Tuesday. There was an hour two today as I was walking around at work (very busy day) that the odd sensation of burning under-toe returned (seriously, the pad of my big toe BURNS) but then it went away.

I've walked the dogs 4 out of the 7 days. Today I got home too late, another day it was too warm. Tomorrow morning I plan to get up, throw the hair into a ponytail, toss on some clothes and take Maddox to our favorite park. It is still too warm for us to try out his new backpack but that is coming! So I have to carry a water bottle for him. He'll need it. (Also! Lots of geocaches in this park - I have found 49, and am determined to reach 55 at least by the end of the day tomorrow!)

Sleep is good too - the last few mornings I have woken up well before the alarm. This is good. Very good.

So all in all, I am very very pleased with the first week of Whole 30. I've had some emotional roller-coaster, this is true and can't be denied, and I am not sure why but the sads hit really hard a few times this week. Little things made me feel sad and neglected and full of woe, just very alone. My daughter and son though--what would I do without them? I'd text Kelly or talk to Tiff awhile and the crushing feeling would lift for awhile.

Work, happily, has been awesome, and my boss and I talk a lot more about random things inbetween the work, which is nice. Been talking about biking, geocaching, hiking, food, adventures, crazy clients (we have plenty) and other lawyers, lol. He and Desiree know I have cut out all the stuff (though Desiree knows exactly what I am doing and is all chuffed about it). Not sure why the leap but I do love it, love the feeling of TEAAAMMM and working for someone who respects me and who I can respect. That is a very good thing.

Oh and have I lost weight? I have no idea! I hid my scale from myself. This isn't about weight loss necessarily, but I know it is happening. I hope at the end of the month I will have broken through that ridiculous plateau barrier I've been on for years. Srsly! For two years I have been almost exactly the same weight. Nice for the wardrobe to be consistent, but I wish it were ten pounds less, and then be consistent!

I am rewatching Supernatural. Am watching X Factor with [ profile] sheswatching (oh my STARS! SCREAM! it is agonizing! Love it! ha ha), and just trying to stay busy, in a routine. That I am still working on!

Going to see my son tomorrow, and load up on local produce that he has so easily available where he lives, for next week's menu. :)


I want to sell my mountain bike and get a proper ten speed.

On to the next week of Whole 30, yup yup yup!
My Nano novel is going to be my fantasy novel - not THE fantasy novel but the prequel that that Tor editor suggested in an offhand way (oh so many years ago) that she thought I should write. It is outlined like a big boss, beautifully-scrivenerized, and though I intend to start from scratch with it, I was a bit bored at work and since I have to at least pretend like I am working I decided to poke around on my dropbox and see what I had out there already written on it. To my amusement (and dismay), I found no less than seven different openings to this story. SEVEN!!!

Obviously, I didn't know what to do with this story, just a vague idea of the issues I wanted to explore. I changed my mind soooo many times on how to approach the opening to the story. Soft opening, with KAPOW after a few paragraphs? Starting with high action? I could not (for the longest time) figure out who the MC should be - male or female, Jax or Maiya, or sometimes Naiya. I also changed POV several times. The result of that is a gem like this:

Naiya came to, bound and gagged. Naiyan a cramped cart, alone, on his side. My face
hurt where She’d been struck, his ribs stabbed him with each breath.

Search and replace disasters!!! BWA HA HA HA HA.... OMG.

Oh, me....

This evening while watching the rest of Firefly (damn them for cancelling that show way before its time!) I decided I needed to organized all my little tidbits of writing, and my messy dropbox which was way too full. I now have a nice little list of books I want to write, have wanted to write for ages, and found some things I'd forgotten about, too - old bits and bobs of short stories (Caeru! I forgot about him! there is another one I need to find too from that world), LOL two Torchwood fics, the start of Drake's Island I'd totally forgotten that I'd started.

I am so looking forward to this Nano!! Mostly I think because I have so many friends here locally now who are also doing it, but also because I am so looking forward to writing this story finally. I love having a writing community (even though I honestly could invest more physical time to it). Hopefully my desk of awesome will make it easier to be productive. The only bad thing about it is I keep hurting myself on it. My toes hit the ends, my knees the pull out drawer that I am not using. I may end up pulling the drawer off. Ouch.

List of Books I Want to Write/Finish:
(this list is too long)

1. Wayward (the sci fi - still haven't decided whether to expand this or make it three separate parts - working on it)
2. Wild Magic - the Nano novel - multiple POV
3. Blackthumb - spinoff, after a fashion - takes place in same world as Wild Magic but is in first - can I do that? (the book I am currently reading is Very Much Inspiring me to tackle this story soon) - have had plans for this story for a good six, seven years
4. Altered Fates - sequel to the Nano novel (and there are 2 more parts - these 3 are my 'omg have had forever like 15 yrs' novels) (hopefully it won't be another 15 years before they are finished)
5. Wolfhunter - sort of an urban fantasy except it is rural - another one I've had floating around forever, since about 2008
6. Drake's Island - m/m, found the start to it buried in my dropbox. I liked the opening. This one will get written eventually - been hovering around since 2011
7. Tattered Leaves - m/m, 'older/younger' love, inspired by Cheese.

Too long, too many, most of which should've been written already! Dang it!
Getting occasional text messages from a friend who is San Antonio for Worldcon. The latest one got me to perk up - 2015 is in Spokane! I am SO IN!!!

Several weeks ago - before vacation actually so a couple months ago (wow, it is September! August FLEW by!) I creatively created a desk out of an old door and two low shelving units. The idea was to have a desk in my living room behind the loveseat where I would actually sit and work. Well the reality is it was too high, the chair too low, it served as a handy ironing board and a place to fold clothes. All well and good but not what I was intending at all.

So yesterday I went first to look for a tall chair at Staples and failing that, decided to go to Office Depot. Well first thing I saw when I went back to the furniture section were these cute lads staring at me...


Well, I finally have all their names straight now! Cutest thing though - on the other side of this display there was a lifesize poster and a little girl was posing 'with' 1D and I couldn't help but get a kick out of that.

Then I saw this little desk just sitting there right in front of the giant poster and decided oh what the heck, I'll just tear down my makeshift desk and get this thing. So I did and now it is spread out on my floor waiting for me to put it together.


Think it will work perfectly for what I need. And it rolls around! That is my favorite feature, I think. Surely having a decent desk to sit at in my living area will help with productivity. Surely....


I think I will curl up on the couch and take a short nap, then will tackle putting it together. Yeah, sounds like a plan.

2012 was not the easiest of years, but it was definitely better than 2011. Last March, after 15 months of unemployment, I found a new job. It has been a challenging, interesting nine months. I love my job. It stresses the hell out of me, keeps me enormously busy, more often than not I am tired tired TIRED when I get home, but it is worth it.

My boss actually is great to work for. Very appreciative, complimentary, and flat-out tells me how happy he is we found each other. LOL. I think I'm doing okay, and it is getting easier to deal with the stress, channel it away from me, and not let the job rule my life, but it takes work. And thinking about it, and stopping to take deep breaths, etc. It isn't always easy still but then again I rather thrive on the crazy, too. I just have to remind myself not to let it own me, or else that is all I will do. Work, go home, go to bed, get up, start again.

Monetarily, though I make a good salary, it has been an expensive year - getting the daughter moved, getting caught up on bills, vacation (which was awesome and wonderful and too short, and dammit I had a cold the entire time, which sucked, but still, wonderful) and car ailments all added up. But everything along that line is going well now. I hope, hope I can stay balanced in that area of life. Living a basic, frugal life is not a bad thing - since I'm used to it, just going to keep doing it. Build up the bank account again as it was totally smashed by losing my job.

I've made some new friends who actually live within thirty minutes of me. They all came to me via Nano - a group that meets at The Gingerman on Monday nights, and Writer's Without Borders (so named because the Border's they met at closed) on Friday nights. LOL that gives me three writing groups though there is crossover between the two new ones. That gets me out of the house twice a week, which is a good thing.

I also sold a book. Yay! It comes out Feb. 3. It Might Be Magic, through Amber Quill Press. Woo!

Am about to send another one in, a sci fi. New publisher I'm targeting, so hopefully they will want it. Woo! It would be the first in a trilogy.

And now here it is 2013. I've made goals but primarily because my writing group aka Team Awesome has made goals. So I had to make goals too, because they made me. But, I like them. So here you go, C's goals for 2013!!

• Writing Goals:
o Finish rewrite of sci fi and send to LSB by end of January
o Jack Frost book – first draft end of April
o Fantasy – first draft summer’s end
o Drake’s Island – first draft end of year

• Promotion Plans:
o Set up blog tour for IMBM
o Blog regularly

• Website Plans:
o Revamp carolyngraybooks
o Create Fantasy website

• Other Goals:
o Glide through each day in a zen state
o Get knee well, get strong
o Knock this last 15 lbs. off for good
o Read 2 books a month from different genres
o Create square foot garden and get back to nature

And that's all, folks!
Not much going on here - yes, am doing Nano but dang it, despite the fact I am currently not working, time seems to skitter away from me - spent the weekend helping my friend Cid move to her new place, and most of the rest of my free time was spent reading a school reading assignment, The Wretched of the Earth by Frantz Fanon.

This book has intrigued me for an unexpected reason - I finished reading part II this evening, but what has absolutely fascinated me, and caught my imagination, is how I can readily apply the dynamics of a revolution (colonized v. colonizer) to my current fantasy wip (the one that I haven't started yet, so probably isn't a wip quite yet). I have long planned to write Jax's world as an occupied one, but until this book (and this class, which focuses on culture and empire), I didn't have the meat so to speak that I needed to detail a believable scenario. I have it now. While reading part II especially, I found myself fictionalizing it in my mind, which of my characters would be doing what (and why, the all important WHY). I could see what roles my Oppressors should play (and WHY), and have found myself totally caught up in the possibilities for writing I am gleaning from this required reading.

Good times.

Been emailing my classmate Ethan all evening about it - study-group-via-email? - oh yeah, why not? He was going to drop out of this class, despite having a solid B and making an A on the midterm, as he was letting it get to him, how difficult it is (demanding more than difficult, really - the professor IS rather awesome), but I was so happy that he decided to stay in. There isn't much time left after all!

I've signed up for my next class, another special-topics history class. Should be a good one - European history, race, religion and politics, yo.

After that, I only have Algebra, a communications class, and to test out of the computer and English Comp II classes. Need to get my hands on a study guide of some sort for the computer competency test. Not sure when I will take those.

If I could just knock out the communications class this summer, I could conceivably graduate in December! *thunk*

And after that? My heart and brain and love of history tell me to keep going, dammit - Masters in History, oh yeah, at UTA. Double oh yeah. I have a weird vision of just going and going and going with this...I think it started when I read my professor's dissertation and I thought "oh good grief, I could do this." Um. Yeah. LOL!!! And how awesome it would be too. So we'll see...the future has lots of possibilities.

Son went to Austin tonight with friends to see Slayer. You bet I am freaked out and worried to death but trying to be chill and calm and all that. Oh man... *bites nails*

Daughter is at work, and is sad she can't afford to take any additional classes in the spring, even one. I am sad too, as I sincerely hate that I can't help her any. While I am very grateful to be on unemployment, I am horrificly distressed about it, too. If there was only something I could do at home that would bring in a guaranteed 2k a month... LOL. Yeah. I know.

Every day except today I've made myself get out of the house, go to Starbucks, and be around people. That has helped but I hate this feeling of "I am not worthy of enjoying this time off because I should not be unemployed." Okay enough of that. Those of you who have been there, know this all too well.

What else? Not much else. I hope to finish up this homework reading tomorrow morning so I can write my discussion questions and finally get back to work on writing. The rewrite is going slow, but I love all two scenes I've finished...

As for my book that is out there, I have no idea how it is doing. I don't want to know, as I did see some comments that make me groan (comparisons to the first book are many, and complaints the 2nd is not like the first - no, it isn't, because no book will ever be like that first book - I am no longer that person, THANK THE STARS).

And that is all for now. Hope all of you guys are doing well.
Today was, finally, my last day at Snark, the lawfirm I've been working at since about March. Sadly, very very sadly, the end result was not a permanent position there, but me back in the world of unemployment. I leave Snark with a heck of a good reputation, with much regret on their part and mine, and with much-polished skills as well as three of the attorneys I helped out vowing to tell whoever I need them to how awesome I am. The last one to do so was one of the senior partners, who expressed true regret about the situation. And, one of my regular non-bosses and I had a talk this afternoon about the situation, and he is not crossing out hope that the situation will change. Honestly? If I did find a job, unless it was really really terrific, and he called to come work for him, and work at Snark, I would go. I've never worked so well with an attorney bfeore. Sigh.

Anyway, as everywhere, it is a financial consideration - the lawfirm isn't a big one, and when clients can't pay the bills, well... so, goodbye (for now) Snark, so glad I spent all the time there that I did.

So now what, C? Back on unemployment, which I still have plenty of. I am determined, very determined, to approach what could be a couple of months or so of none-earning with cheer and determination. The holiday season is coming after all. Festive time of the year! But also a terrible time to be job-hunting.

I must, therefore, have a gameplan for staying sane, i.e, A Gameplan for Staying Sane. And this is it:

1. NANO TIME!!!! Since I am home, I have two goals for Nano:

a. Finish the rewrite of my next loose-id book by the end of the month
b. Get as much of a rough rough super-rough draft of Aquamancer done by the end of the month

I am lucky to have a great group in the DFW area, and one of my crit parties is a ML, so I know she will crack the whip to attend things. The kickoff is Sunday afternoon, in Dallas. I have been told I will go. LOL. :)

2. SCHOOL!!! Continue to kick-ass in class - I have an A, made an A+ on my mid-term paper. WHEE!

3. THE HOUSE!!! Start working on the ^%$# garage, start throwing away All The Crappy Things there and inside. Considering five years ago this house was practically bare, we sure have accumulated a lot of crap. We do not crap need.

4. THE DOGS!!!! Walk them daily. The long hot summer is over, and they deserve the extra attention

5. JOB HUNT!!!! Adopt a gameplan for the job search. Now that my legal experience is polished and sparkly again, redo the resume, updated Linked-In, and research all the law firms in Fort Worth, as well as corporate legal departments.

Think those five things should keep me too busy to be depressed. I hope so anyway.

Other things!

1. Maddox killed a possum the other day. The last time he tangled with one, it won, and he ended up on antibiotics. This one was a small one and no damage done to him this time. Thank goodness.

2. Reading - got my hands on some wonderful books about Shakespearean players. :)

3. Television - been on a House kick.

4. Cooking - I have some tempeh - I am eyeballing it sideways. Just not sure about it... LOL.

and then there is that meme going round )
I've only added three states since doing this last, but added the UK.

I need to get out more.

visited 3 states (1.33%)
Create your own visited map of The World or Like this? try: GoogleDate

why doesn't District of Columbia get a ticky box?

visited 17 states (34%)
Create your own visited map of The United States or Like this? try: Landgeist
I just hit SEND!

Now to hopefully not have to do further edits on the beast. LOL. More details later as I get them but man, this story put me through the ringer. I needed that though. Really did.

AND YAY new LJ header! No more so-called healing light. Poppies are PRETTY! PINK RULES!

Love to all! And tomorrow, I'm diving into my Merlin big bang and having some FUN! Woot!

LindaLee--this is an occasion I wish I had your Kermit user pic. LOL. :)

My Work Crib

May. 4th, 2011 11:10 pm
paragraphs: Come Travel with Me (GO FROGS!)
My temporary home, but hopefully it'll work into something permanent with the firm eventually. I would not mind at all. :) In the meantime, I'll simply enjoy working somewhere where employees are treated so nicely, equally, and fairly. After what I've dealt with so far this year, I feel a bit spoiled, even after just a day and a half. LOL. And, I'm enjoying the fresh-brewed tea that is made every morning! And being downtown again, and the short commute, and the nice clothes (but not the shoes--damn my feet hurt, BAD).

This is the office I am using right now--I keep the door closed so I can listen to music. It is very solitary when behind the glass, but I don't mind that. Just have to walk outside to get some fresh tea or make the rounds, and there are peoples to chat to.

One thing that is odd for me--after 10 years of being my own boss, and sole department member, and handling my own projects, it is quite strange to work for someone else. Today I did a release and the attorney had changed some things but not others that needed changing--I dared to fix all the things, and he didn't notice. Will definitely keep an eye on that one's work. LOL. It is just WEIRD to answer to others like this again. But okay. Heck with what they are paying me, I'm definitely fine with it.

a room with a view )
Today, you have been odd.

Had no sleep last night--sent Nick a phonepic of my clock at 1:15 a.m. with a whiny message but that wasn't the last time I looked at the clock. Then, suddenly my alarm went off--I am trying to stay with a 7:30 a.m. up-time regardless of what I do--so up I got. Then daughter comes to me crying--her BFF#4 (lotsa BFF's has she) lost his mother this morning after a ten year battle with illness. It was expected, but they are very close, hope to be roommates eventually, and all this brings back lots of hard memories for Tiff of when her dad died. But Troy needs her and she's been with him all day.

I accomplished nothing today other than dealing with that (lotsa hugs). Read over two fics I had beta'd, happy to see them both wrapped up, and watched lots of Supernatural (episodes of which seemed to have become like my comfort blanket--I barely pay attention, really, but the boys do a good job keeping me company), sorted shoes (daughter has a HUGE basketful, and they were all right at the door, geesh), and played with the dogs.

At least later today was more productive! Made a post on my pro blog (feels very weird to post things there), wrote a bunch of junk re: my fantasy magic system, and...


I wanted to work on my Merlin Big Bang, but I just now opened it for the first time today. It needs work work work and I am in the mood of 'man, what is the point?' re: writing it for that purpose. I would rather beta, honestly--I love beta'ing my writers. They need to hurry up and write more so I can beta more, right?

I am also determinedly trying not to think of my phone hearing on Monday. Oh yes, didn't I mention? Bastards at my former place of employment are trying to fight my unemployment. I am not afraid, definitely not of that bastard (who my lovely writing group promises to kill off in their fics--love them) but very, very annoyed. I don't want to deal with this, but will, because I am right and they are wrong. Bastards.

Happily, I got my ESOP money finally, so at least there is plenty in the bank. What would make me even happier? To hear from Loose-Id would make me REALLY happy. Really really really really.

In fantasy news, things are marching along, though in an unexpected manner--one of my characters became something that I didn't expect, which is leading me to create a whole culture I hadn't expected to. Also, it seems there will be water dragons...kinda cool, that. I hope to start writing on this soon. Ready or not, I need to get going.

I wish I was going to England...
There is one up-side about being unemployed when one is truly a writer at heart--all this extra time to write. I've been making the most of it when not looking for a job, or going to the unemployment resource center, or, as has been the case the last couple of days, totally freaking out I don't have a job yet and it has been 3 months already zomg zomg. Most of the time I can keep my spirits up, but sometimes it smacks me. The optimism sinks, I get blue, and I just want to curl up in my bed and pull my blankie over my head. I wallow for a bit but something clicks again, and I get my good attitude back again. Today I made myself go to Starbucks and sure enough, things seemed much more hopeful again. I do love my Starbucks (especially when my kid is working--freebies for Mom!).

Thanks to helping Nick with the Merlin Big Bang [ profile] paperpushers timed writings (WORD WARS!) every weekend, I've already hit 23k so far with Splash Page. I love love love word wars! My competitive nature kicks in, though, so I have to chill. I am a fast writer when I actually am ready to write, but I pay the price with my achy arms later, and also with having to go back over everything. Not complaining though--I love rewriting. ;) Also, another bonus comes with doing these--meeting new peoples! I love new peoples. (Hello those new peoples who have joined my flistees!)

I only work on SP on the weekends though. Weekdays, in-between all the other stuff, it's the fantasy. Things are starting to come together there. So far, I've got the Antagonist, two of the Protagonists, the Main Minion figured out, a ton of worldbuilding stuff, all of which has forced me to figure out aspects of the story I hadn't thought I needed to. Or would eventually get to but didn't need to now. This Warrior Writer method is lots of fun and suits me as a plotmeister, but I'm started to get antsy. I want to finish all this preliminary work and just get writing.

Ballet Boy still doesn't have a title I like much. I don't know what the problem is, but settling on something has been super-hard. Last week I turned in a detailed synopsis, logline, etc., and getting through all that stuff about killed me. LOL. Writing a synopsis after finishing the book just was SO much fun (snark). Got it done though (with much whining on twitter). Now it has all gone to The Big Decider, and hopefully hopefully hopefully I'll get word soon that it is a go.

And of course then I will start freaking out that it needs more work, isn't good enough, sucks royally and will get horrid reviews (as compared to the first). Meep. My editor loved it though, so here's hoping...

Going to try to convince myself to get some sleep now. Am TRYING to sleep regular hours, but have found those damn blues mess with my brain and sometimes I can't get to sleep, or stay asleep, and then morning comes and I get smacked with the no-job thing, and I want to just hide under that blankie some more... Now that my tree outside has leaves, I am going to try and sleep with my curtains open a little bit. See if waking up to sunshine instead of a dark room helps. Guess I'll see in the morning, yeah? Tomorrow is writer's group though (aka #writersnightout, Thursday being #writersdatenight, and yeah we are silly) so I'm planning now to have a good day tomorrow, dammit, or else. Pretending to be a full-time writer usually works and at least on Tuesdays and Thursdays, I manage to pull it off pretty darn well.

Oh! And I forgot, Saturday is going to be wonderful--I have a ticket to go see PARKED, staring Colin Morgan, yo, and Colm Meaney, who I also have always adored. A day in Dallas will be fun, and I hope to see [ profile] lindalee afterward for something delicious and awesome and healthy because like me, she's into that sort of thing. LOL. Need to arrange that. What will be a huge challenge for me will be understanding Colin Morgan, as he makes no effort to change his accent. He definitely won't sound like Merlin for this one! (I could possibly also see it Sunday if I feel the urge). Here's hoping my ears tune quickly to his accent. LOL.
I am a horrible housekeeper. Seriously. I have all this time on my hands, and by now every corner of my house and yard and garage should be Suzy Homemaker perfect. But it isn't, and I neglect the hell out of it, until I can't stand it any more. So today I armed myself with all the cleaning equipment I could find, and bought new spray stuff that smells fabulous, and attacked!

Hours later, the house smells great (the red velvet soy candle I bought sure helps plus it is very pretty and reminds me of [ profile] blue_fjords's cupcakes of awesome.) The floors are clean, walls scrubbed, bathtub and sinks shiny, kitchen clean, I can even walk through my hallway! No laundry baskets! We'll see how long this lasts. Two days maybe.

I managed yesterday to get all my stuff re: defensive driving turned in (though I had to fax a paper to the municipal court that dipstick here forgot at home) so that is all good, got my ESOP paperwork today so THAT is AWESOME, and the glow from winning unemployment has not diminished. Now all I need to do is do my taxes. Bah. Friday.

LOL I just realized that my 'state of me' format I was going to use was forgotten. Oh well.

Been working on my plot for my fantasy...attacking the worldbuilding, antagonist next. The method for plotting and planning is a little different than I've done before (the method we're following on my Saturday morning writing workshops), and I'm finding it really very helpful. Way helpful. For the first time, my 10-year's worth of jumbled notes and thoughts and characters and plot are starting to iron out. They are actually making sense! There may be hope for me yet. LOL. Next post--will write about that. I promised a couple of people I would yack about Writer's Journey, which ties into what I am doing with my Saturday group. Oh, and that Saturday group is after me to start blogging. Like real blogging? Like 'building your brand!' blogging. *headdesk* Given there are two of me, this is going to be a pain...

I wish I had more exciting stuff to write here, but alas, I can't think of anything!

Anyone watch Smallville? I'm on the sixth one. It is pretty fun (so many exploding things! so many deaths! so much weirdness!), is pretty entertaining though Lux baby confused me at first. Lex, I mean. LOL. I am intrigued by his characterization, as he starts out as a relatively good guy.

I need to go somewhere, so badly. ANYWHERE!!!!!!!!!! On a PLANE!!!!!

Tomorrow, tomorrow, maybe tomorrow will be an exciting day?