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Catching Up

Oct. 6th, 2015 10:01 pm
paragraphs: Come Travel with Me (Default)
It has been many months since I wrote a post, except for the GYWO community posts I write now and then.  I just came back online last night after almost 2 months without internet.  The first 3 weeks were great!  I got so much done! I got into a good treadmill habit, cooked, read a lot, hammered out words...  And then it started to get dark earlier, and though the cold isn't here yet, the darkness made me feel lonely.  So next thing you know I am using all my data up on my phone.  Not good.

So got back on the internets and here I am watching netflix, some documentary about water. This is however research, for real!  Water and the lack and manipulation of plays a big role in my ms so I thought this would be interesting.  In fact it is, and has given me some ideas, but it sure is frightening too what parts of the world do with precious water.  (Focus on a tanning factory in India made me nauseous, watching that chemical-laden brackish water pouring into a  river where people bathe and wash and I don't want to know what else).

I am waiting to hear from Hodderscape.  Decisions started going out on the 29th of September.  Nothing yet.  Will they want more?  Will they say thanks but no thanks? Who knows?  Whether or not they want the rest, I'm having so much fun with this story.  I'd like to have it finished by end of the year but we will see.

I also pulled out my ancient fantasy I stopped working on about 15 years ago.  I have no wish to pursue self publishing with it, or traditional publishing (as I am pursuing that with the current ms).  So I am seriously considering having fun with Wattpad with it.  I've got quite a bit of it and I'd like to finish it.  It is funny, rereading that which I wrote long ago makes me realize just how well I wrote back then.  Would that I had never let those who destroyed my belief in what I was doing get near it.   But I am happy with what I am doing now. YA fantasy aka A Girl's Adventure Story is my jam.  As is writing in first person. SO MUCH LOVE.

Otherwise not much else going on.  Kids are good (and both have serious partners! oh my stars), work is good (busy as always), getting my treadmill time in almost every day.  I'm doing Couch to 5k but took off last week. Why did I do that?  Got to get back into it.  My son is staying with me a couple nights a week which is nice, and that is all.

Now to curl up and reread what I wrote by hand at lunch today. I only meant to jot a few things down and ended up writing six handwritten pages. 
Ta da day three is done!

Food today was easy peasy as I planned over the weekend. Today's foods were:

Breakfast: the breakfast muffin and a half cup of coffee with coconut cream in it (I ran out of time to drink the whole thing!)

Lunch: Spaghetti squash with meatballs and green beans w/ghee, and an orange.

Dinner: Tuna pan-seared delicately, with olives, an avocado, and green beans.

I do love my green beans. Seriously. I was not hungry at all today, and did not feel stuffed either. Am figuring out portions, and I am pleased!

Weird thing - driving home from work today? All of a sudden my rings were loose.

Bad thing - my toe freaking killed me most of today. I just HATE it. And totally don't get it. Burning, burning sensation under the big toe, achy as hell joint, and stabbity pains randomly attack. What if this elimination diet doesn't help? I will cry.

Interesting notes for today. I have realized that without SweetnLow, I don't like plain ice tea. On the other hand, La Croix bubbly water in Coconut, Grapefruit, Berry and Plain are DIVINE. Coffee is great, hot tea (mint is my preference) is awesome, but iced tea, that which I drink TONS and TONS and TONS of every day? No. Going to toss it aside for now.

Emotions-wise, I was kinda down today. It was hard to identify what is bothering me. I need to work on figuring this out but I have just not wanted to be around people the last few days. This isn't like me at all. Not at all. Hmmm. I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed at work, not the work itself but just having time to take care of the behind-the-scene things. I never have enough time for that. So frustrating. So I stayed late (sigh) to get some stuff done.

I had to go by my MIL's on the way home and as always, it is hard to leave. I get it, I do - she wants me to stay for a long time each time I come over and oh how I get it but I needed to get home to the dogs. By the time I did, I just ended up making dinner for us (me and the pups) and then suddenly, it was dark! What! It was only about 7:40 or so! Sometimes I just HATE that I get off at 5:30 (but rarely get to leave then-as today I did not).

There is a stray kitty staying on the side of my house. I tried to tell it this was the worst house to stick to, given the huskies, but I fear it will be back out there again tomorrow. I can't feed it, I can't have a cat! :( But how can I not? It is so sad! Poor kitty! Poor little tabby kitty.

That's it for now - though I did accomplish something tonight. I conquered clarified butter! Go me! First attempt I burned it, ugh, but then I found out how to do it in the microwave.

Isn't it pretty? LOL no no I swear it is not pee, it is ghee!

ghee by me
Getting occasional text messages from a friend who is San Antonio for Worldcon. The latest one got me to perk up - 2015 is in Spokane! I am SO IN!!!

Several weeks ago - before vacation actually so a couple months ago (wow, it is September! August FLEW by!) I creatively created a desk out of an old door and two low shelving units. The idea was to have a desk in my living room behind the loveseat where I would actually sit and work. Well the reality is it was too high, the chair too low, it served as a handy ironing board and a place to fold clothes. All well and good but not what I was intending at all.

So yesterday I went first to look for a tall chair at Staples and failing that, decided to go to Office Depot. Well first thing I saw when I went back to the furniture section were these cute lads staring at me...

harryetal

Well, I finally have all their names straight now! Cutest thing though - on the other side of this display there was a lifesize poster and a little girl was posing 'with' 1D and I couldn't help but get a kick out of that.

Then I saw this little desk just sitting there right in front of the giant poster and decided oh what the heck, I'll just tear down my makeshift desk and get this thing. So I did and now it is spread out on my floor waiting for me to put it together.

desk

Think it will work perfectly for what I need. And it rolls around! That is my favorite feature, I think. Surely having a decent desk to sit at in my living area will help with productivity. Surely....

EXCITING POST ISN'T THIS.

I think I will curl up on the couch and take a short nap, then will tackle putting it together. Yeah, sounds like a plan.

:)
Writing for me has never been a must-do-or-die thing. The closest I came to that was when I wrote Red back in 2003. Writing that book was my way of coping with an incredibly stressful time of my life. I was a very lonely, super-stressed person then, so writing was pretty much what I had in the way of inner happiness, the one thing that was all mine. I worked on Red and I began toying with an idea for an epic fantasy... actually it was the other way around, the fantasy led me to looking for pictures for characters which led me to a Savage Garden cd which led me to looking for stuff online for more pictures which led to slash (OH MY!) lol which led to writing the first incarnation of Red. I have not felt that kind of drive to write since finishing and publishing Red, but life is way, way different now and I am also so much happier than I was then. (just deleted a lot of self-analysis drivel lol as to why this or why that).

(and just deleted a whole bunch more drivel about my past writing. LOL. Let's stop looking to at least that slice of the past, okay? Good.)

What it comes down to is for now at least I have put m/m aside. It is on one hand a bit scary to leave 'a sure thing' behind, but another to find something that makes me excited, and changing genres seems to be what is bringing out the bounce again. I've been happily working on my science fiction story off and on the last few months, but recently I started to think about stories I had started but for one reason or another left unfinished (including that epic fantasy). So, since life here has calmed down, both kids are back in their homes after a nice week long visit, vacation is in the past (sob), and I am living alone, just me and the dogs, and my free time is all mine, I decided to drag all that old stuff out. Again! I have done this so many times! LOL. (THIS TIME IS DIFFERENT I SWEAR.)

Over the last week I've been going over this epic mess. I have around 99k written (about a third, I'm guessing), it is completely outlined (said outline I just found buried in a folder I had at sometime dumped into dropbox), but until recently I could never see how to organize it, make it work. What a mess! But I love this mess! For years I have adored this mess!! Such a mess I could never figure out how to organize it...and then along came Scrivener!

How I love Scrivener!

Thanks to Scrivener I am finally getting things organized, and have realized what I need to change on the outline, and am gaining a solid grasp on the story, and am just totally smitten with the storyline again as I reread it. It also depresses me a bit. What happened to this writer of 13, 14 or so years ago, that she totally lost the spark and fire and creativity I am finding in these scenes? Sigh.

Oh well stop crying, Cee. Now is actually the perfect time to get this all together. Scrivener is a HUGE help, I have the option of self-publishing now which will be perfect for this. I have a friend who is eyeball deep in self-publishing AND does amazing covers who will be a giant, enormous help. This is finally gonna happen, yes it is. Woo! Technically there are 3 stories I have outlined and two with basic but solid blurbs.

My other current project is my science fiction story that is coming along quite nicely despite not working on it since before July (vacation month/kid visit month). I also have plugged it into Scrivener which helped me see what was lacking scene-wise. I have about ten or so scenes to write, then polish the whole thing to perfection before I send it in to the publisher I have eyeballed for it. I had toyed with self-publishing this but no, not for science fiction, not for this story. This little story has gone through the ringer, but I am finally getting it where I want it. I have two other stories planned to follow too. I have a strong desire to get this done and out there...I want very much to sell it while my dad is still around. He is almost 81 and he is why I love science fiction as I do. And fantasy, but mostly science fiction. So yeah, Dad is very much incentive to get this done but I can't rush it either...no rushing, I want this book to succeed! And it has been rejected twice (thankfully!) so I need #3 to be a success.

The other story I dragged out of the dust bin would pretty much qualify, I suppose, as not-urban-but-rural fantasy. Sort of. Another story I have long loved but haven't figured out what to do with, but kinda have more inklings now... Wolfhunter's been around almost as long as Epic but I only have one chapter or so and no real plot yet. But the characters! I LOVE THEM!!! SERIOUSLY! I'll keep this one bubbling on the horizon. And figure out a plot! Good idea, huh! But the characters... Yes. Love them.

I have been playing with this post all afternoon and now here it is after eight. Time to send it up! Am watching Super 8. Never seen it. This should be fun.

Night kids!!





Yawn... I have toyed with this lj all day long!

Hello

Nov. 4th, 2012 08:21 pm
paragraphs: Come Travel with Me (Default)
I miss writing here, I honestly do. I keep meaning to start up again, but every time I begin a post, I end up deleting it. Think there is just too much going on in my mind right now to put it out there completely to the world at large. My solo life here hasn't been setting well with me lately (especially since Nick was here and gone again), but am taking steps to try and shake that up, get out and meet more people (via Nano, and also next Saturday night going to a drumming circle event in Arlington). It isn't easy though. I think the emptiness of my house gets to me (though my son is still here but he's busy with school and work and his own life, you know?) and I can't shake the feeling that this is my life from now on. Really hate the quiet of my evenings, and tend to just go to bed so the next day will start sooner.

So general stuff:

Doing Nano, but am using it more to finish the edits on IMBM, and rewrite Wayward, which has a new cast and new title, and a new destination once completed. Sci fi thriller--am finding it a lot of fun to twist words and rework things to increase the thrill factor. LOL. Learning, always learning. Also for sheer fun have started a mystery series idea that seized me last week.

Spent most of the weekend away from the house. Sorry puppies...last weekend I didn't leave the house at all.

On IMBM, I pulled it from my publisher. Many reasons for doing so, and it was a risk, but five months, almost six, had gone by without a contract, very little contact with my editor, and frankly, I kinda snapped during GRL (which was amazing and wonderful). I have a new home targeted for it but am currently putting it BACK where it was set originally, but was convinced to change it to a US setting. Other things going on made me want to move on but honestly? The main reason? I don't feel like I belong there. I don't write and don't want to write the kinds of stories that they want. I've just grown into a different writer over the years.

What else? Work is going well. My boss is appreciative and very nice, lots of fun to work for, though the work itself is very challenging and demanding. I feel sometimes I take stupid pills... a couple of times last week I did X instead of Z, only realizing afterwards what a dolt I was. I mean, seriously. I cannot screw this job up - still have a week bit of nervousness about being good enough to do this. It is almost two years now - Dec. 20th - since I got fired. Winning my unemployment case definitely helped, but that little wee bit of fear it will happen again is still there. Possibly always will be (and likely why I am so damn hard on myself).

Dogs are being escape artists lately. Maddox, that is - there is a pit bull two houses over, and he hears that dog, and wants to go see him so he digs and pulls at the planks, breaks through the fence, goes through a neighbor's back yard and messes with the pit bull. A bit scary, that - the dog is a nice dog, thank goodness. I don't trust Maddox, ever. I'd hoped by the time he reached 5 he would settle down and be a good dog but nooo... his curiosity is too high, and he views any blockage to his quest for freedom as an obstacle that must be surmounted. Scares me.

Anything else? Besides my struggle to stay (happy, is what came to mind, hmm) keep life on an even keel, have put myself back on the health bandwagon. Am tired of saying "just need to lose 15 more lbs!" and am doing it. So far so good, am doing the hardcore diet I did a few years ago when I lost all the majority of weight.

Um... I will be so glad when the election is over. I've never been so nervous about an election, ever. I voted on Friday, daughter voted absentee, son is voting after class on Tuesday. Yeah, nervous about the outcome. Quite so.

And once again, my fingers hover over the delete key. Will post this time though, I guess. Guess I had more to say than I thought?
I have discovered an evil wasps nest high up in my porch roof - must get super-shot spray to knock those suckers dead.

Am about to make Blue's cupcake recipe. This is from when I made the recipe before but made them into whoopie pies. Aren't they gorgeous? Whoopie Pies!

I have to dash to the store to get a couple of ingredients, but figured that would be a nice way to spend the afternoon and get my mind focused on my science fiction story. Now that I've had a friend rip through it, and have gone through all her comments (with not a little moaning and groaning lol), I've got a set gameplan to rewrite it. Got some things to figure out that I didn't have time to (or room to!) as I wrote it for submission - lessons learned! But, no regrets on that at all, deciding then writing a 35k story of a type I never have before for submission six weeks before the deadline... heck no. LOL. Got a solid basis for expanding into a full story now, and have decided I rather like Scrivener, and am using that to organize and rewrite.

It occurred to me today that I have been spending a lot of the weekend focusing not on writing, but on letting go. Letting go of fear, anxiety, worry (ok not so good at that, yeah), letting go of certain expectations (some positive, some not, some pretty tough), and accepting, finally, certain things. Cryptic much? Yeah, but I hope by doing so I will be less stressed, less worried, stop gritting my teeth, bah, less sure my life will crash yet again. I have to believe that it won't, that I am in a good position to take care of myself and my family, for real.

It isn't easy, at all, to let that fear and worry go. Deep breath. I am working to make it happen though. Forced positive thinking, yeah.

The last week at work was amazing and challenging and crazy and fulfilling all at once. And full of adventure! Last Tuesday was my 3-month anniversary, and I'm now permanent. (As if there was any doubt, Pam said, but I sure doubted! how could I not after everything that had happened before?). My boss left Saturday for two weeks at Philmont, a 2-week trek with the Boy Scouts, same one [livejournal.com profile] dremiel's son and husband are on. So we commiserated the pre-trip insanity. Lots of that, trying to get everything done, but wow when one of our clients went crazy-nuts on my boss Friday and cops had to be called? Well. That took the cake. Ended up staying until 7:40 Friday night but we got everything done that needed to be done, if not sent out (thanks to crazy lady). So, I have a lot to do in the morning, to get all that work out but after that? Surely the week will stay calm...surely.... LOL.

Fun times.

Okay, so. Off to the store.
I am so happy it is Friday! Great week at work but the reality is, my new job is extremely busy. We have fun though, I get along great with my boss, and all that good stuff. It is a true bummer I come home so mentally drained though - I do a heck of a lot of typing every day. A LOT. Dictation tapes - Jim the Boss loves them. Karen, his wife and probate attorney, has discovered (thanks Jim) that I am hellaciously-fast, so she keeps bringing me documents to retype for her. Promissory notes, guaranty documents, etc. Probate stuff, banking stuff, BORING STUFF. Lotsa typing. So I come home - and don't wanna do more. And, I get really sore, arms especially. Shoulder even. :( Whine.

But it is the weekend!

Oh sadness, bummer and woe - Carina passed on both my ms and the sci fi. But, the ms already has a home, and I am considering what to do with the sci fi. My belief is I need to expand the story and take it the route that came after me, oh, you know, about two days after I sent it in. Or was it two hours? LOL. Whatever, a friend who reads a lot of sci fi is eyeballing it this weekend for me, and hopefully I'll have a good game plan for its future. I had a good rejection as far as those go, though a rejection is a rejection, yes?

The dogs and I have major plans this weekend! To be at home! LOL. Am still getting things sorted, believe it or not, after being off work for so long, but things are settling in.

Good grief I have nothing else to say! I need a new hobby or something. My life is just too dull!
The epublishing world has changed so darn much since my first book with Loose-Id came out...and I am not sure I like it. I was blissfully ignorant of all reactions to ARTS except from those who took the time to email me directly. I think that is a very good thing.

So, I've decided to adopt that way of being aka staying blissfully ignorant for this book too which is, whee! out TODAY!!! http://www.loose-id.com/Long-Way-Home.aspx

I don't want to know a thing about it. I just want to stay happily ignorant about how it is doing out there - it isn't like I have any control over it, right? Right!!! Instead, I will concentrate my soon-to-be-massive free time on rewriting my current story, and planning what to write next.

So, don't tell me if you see anything out there -- I seriously don't want to think about it. I have certain feelings about this story and my writing skills at the time, not to be hard on myself but... Yeah. In any case, Onward!!!! Time for class, then after that I am going home, and curling up and having a good hard sleep. I finished my mid-term paper - turning it in tonight yay - and found out yesterday that I will not be getting a permanent job at my law firm. I am terribly sad, as are two of my attorneys, who are being divided up and handed over to two others, neither of which is at all happy about it either. *throws up hands*

So, back to looking for me, but at least I am leaving that law firm with a lot more experience, current knowledge where I was previously outdated (been 16 years after all), and with some fabulous references from Ed, Davis, the personnel director, and others there. It is awesome everyone is so sad I am leaving, but I still have to say goodbye on Friday.

Sigh.

Sometimes, being awesome and working hard just isn't enough, which sucks bananas.

Okay, time for class!
HA HA HA interesting meme. I don't stress out over things? I try not to whine online but oh you bet I stress out over things. Nick gets to hear it all... But yeah, I TRY not to stress out over things. Kinda hard not to when lots of bills are due, and I haven't got quite enough to cover them all, and still no permanent job. But hey, my book is coming out on October 18th, and I'm enjoying my return to school (can I say uni even though I'm not European etc.?). The only thing about it that is hard is it doesn't leave much time for the online socializing. :*(

Caught up on Torchwood MD. Thoroughly enjoyed episodes 5-9, not so much 1-4. Now there is only one left? And so much to wrap up? How will they do it in one episode?!

Also caught up on Doctor Who, and I just don't care for the disjointed style of this series, whereas I do like the actors themselves. Did they plan that explanation for River Song all along? I don't know... Just weird. I prefer Torchwood MD frankly. Been feeling more Torchwoody lately--I miss it. Unfortunately, I have so much reading for school that I don't have time for fiction! Sad.

Not much else to share tonight, other than my happiness over not breaking 100 here today at last. YES...tomorrow's high will be only 86 supposedly, which is glorious. Got a day planned of laundry, lunch with daughter, working on Fencon crits (this will be the last time I do one of these workshops...oh my lord, I hate to say it but not a single one I've read yet has been very good), and working on my rewrite of my current wip as I want to get it turned in as soon as possible. Then start the next story asap. My fingers are getting itchy to get back to zero draft writing! Itching baaaaad!

Okay so here is me (I suppose):


you are violet
#EE82EE

Your dominant hues are red and blue. You're confident and like showing people new ideas. You play well with others and can be very influential if you want to be.

Your saturation level is lower than average - You don't stress out over things and don't understand people who do. Finishing projects may sometimes be a challenge, but you schedule time as you see fit and the important things all happen in the end, even if not everyone sees your grand master plan.

Your outlook on life is bright. You see good things in situations where others may not be able to, and it frustrates you to see them get down on everything.
the spacefem.com html color quiz
I have so many things I want to write about (the trip to the UK mainly) but am behind, behind, behind. And am at work, and supposed to be transcribing a tape my boss Ed made while on vacation. "There might be seagulls, bar sounds, ocean waves..." LOL. He's in Houston today but I've been taking care of his business bunches.

I don't like what I am wearing today. I am just not a ruffles person. Okay I do like that purple shirt I have, which is similar to this, but yeah...they seem different on here...

My friend Cid is in Paris now and LOL I miss her tweets and texts!! Hope she is having a brilliant time.

It looks like I will not be going to school this semester. I have not the money after all due to many things like my son's car, a couple of evil bills, and my a/c needing work. I am suddenly really really really broke, and haven't been working much the last month, so yeah. I'm going to talk to financial aide/the register but I am thinking I may have no real choice. I also have a bunch of books to buy, too... Life, why you misbehaving? Why didn't I qualify for financial aid--at least a Pell grant? That would've been brilliant. Sigh.

Book status--I have nothing. I emailed my editor last night. I signed the contract in February? March? I should have a date by now--granted, it needed work, and all that, but I am getting antsy! Grrr. LOL. Soon I hope! Sooooooon... I am not whining, I just am eager! Seriously!

Ha Davis was just in here--he cracks me up, writing down all these instructions for me, to fill out a check request. I could've given him the check request...

BIG BANG -- oh wow, so many comments, so much love. I am adoring it. Yeah, the meme got me down a little with some wicked evil comments, but also? Many good points where made about things I'd left hanging a bit (nothing major, some little things), and some things that these particular readers found lacking. I can't disagree with a lot of the comments, and will take all under consideration. Otherwise, the comments I am getting are really really sweet.

Okay better do the work thing...I was only going to say HI but you know how it goes. I'm still here, still in limbo, though the person I am filling in for is now going on disability, so...yeah. We'll see what shakes out. Hopefully, it'll shake out in my favor. Sigh. Life, why you so frustrating?
It just occurred to me as I was sitting here staring mindlessly out the 35th floor window at The Unnamed Law Firm where I am currently working, that it has been ages since I've done a catch-up post. It is a quiet day here with two of the three lawyers gone, the baby associate probably staring out the window as much as I am (hey it is only 100 degrees! A lovely day!), though I've been helping out another attorney whose legal assistant is gone for some reason.

Easiest way to do a recap is, recap style! So here we go!c talks a lot )
Started back to the law firm today, filling in from now until end of August or whenever after Renee will come back. If she does. Lightening strike me, but I hope she does decide to go ahead and retire as she'd talked about, as I want her job. Yup, I do.

I love the three attorneys. Ed is smart and fun and challenging to work for, Bill is a sweetheart that despite being like the second bigshot attorney in the firm is always careful to ask if I have time to help him, could I? And Davis is the young dude who does all his own work--except when I am around. All three kept me hopping doing a mixture of federal (Ed), banking (Bill and litigation (Davis). I love love love it though man they exhausted the hell out of me today! I swear I should get a pedometer to see how many steps I take in a given day.

So tonight am pretty darn zonked, but happy. I was so depressed (again) about not working (despite my unemployment and having plenty in the bank). I just like being useful and productive and doing something that is good and awesome and...yeah. I like thinking 'job well done today, C!' at the end of the day rather than 'oh man, I am a useless, horrible lazy creature.' I am simply not one who can write all day--I get 2-3k a day and that is my happy point and that only takes an hour or two at at time. More than that and my hands and brain hate me.

WRITING: oh man, writing is going so well! 2-3k a day, and this first draft WILL be done by Sunday night! YEEESSSSSS!!!! It is going to end up around 75k maybe 80k in the first draft so I figure knowing me I will add 15k to that by the time I am done. Excellent! Very happy with the progress, loving the story so much. It has been amazing to write an entire story top to toe in such a short amount of time (considering my last ms took me 3 years...).

PUBLISHING STUFF: Still waiting to hear back from editor on edits. I hope there isn't a round two. I want a publication date!

FENCON: Going end of September, and am doing the writing workshop. I have to turn in my first 5-10 pages by July 15th. I am still wavering on what to do. Fantasy? (all the Game of Thrones talk sure has me hyped up for that). I am thinking so. Still attending the WWBC group on Saturdays when I can, and working on it there, but am impatient with the process, and am just ready to write already, dammit! So yeah, probably that for FenCon.

JOB: see above, happily freelancing for now.

TRAVEL: Got my ticket to the UK bought and purchased, and lol the law firm is actually getting ME a temp in to fill in some while I am gone. A temp for the freelancer? Crazy!

SCHOOL: Am still excited about taking the non-US history course, even if it does mean I will be away from my babies twice a week! They aren't gonna like that.

HEALTH STUFF: Doing well. Am determined to lose 8 more lbs. before I go see [livejournal.com profile] cruentum though he doesn't care about such things--just that I am happy with myself. This is why I adore him.

What else? Can't think of a thing--it is almost 10:00 p.m., and I should go read now. Reading Vonda McIntyre's amazing DREAMSNAKE...absolutely a fav book from my childhood, no longer in print but she has it available for 4.99. I sent it to my Dad, who introduced me to the book when I was a kid (and he was THRILLED to get it), and to my sister who also loved it and to whom he also introduced it. I am much savvier and understand far far more about it than I did back then (there was a poly relationship? I totally missed that at thirteen, silly naive me), and Snake is just...I think hands-down she is my most favorite character ever.

And that is all. Why am I not in bed? I think I am just unwinding. Tomorrow I can wear jeans to work, and it will be a calmer day as Ed is gone. And I don't have to be at work until 9! I love that, 9-5.
Omg I did it, this is what I am taking:

HIST 4388-004 - Culture and Empire
Fall 2011
This course will examine the cultural reverberations involved in the expansion of Western nations’ empires from the age of high imperialism (1880-1914) through decolonization (1945-1960s). Travel writing, fiction, film, art, religion, education, colonial exhibitions, music, and sport will be examined in various contexts in order to illuminate the complexities involved in representations of colonies and colonial peoples’ responses to hegemony. By coming to grips with the power dynamics at play in colonial and postcolonial relationships students will be able to formulate and articulate their own opinions about the interrelationship between culture and empire and how it has evolved as the global order has shifted from one based on formal colonies to informal domination.


The prof is quite nicely rated on www.ratemyproessor.com. And, apparently, gives hard but fair tests. I am fine with that, especially as this is my only class. I am super excited though I am sure getting home at 9 twice a week will be tiring (sorry puppies!). But, being SO CLOSE to graduating, I am just crazy excited!

WRITING is going fabulously. Having a blast just waiting and waiting to hear back from my editor... LOL! And to stay sane, am plugging away on my Merlin Big Bang.

Am also working on a new idea, mystery-based...am enrolled in the Lou Anders workshop for FenCon end of September, and don't want to take anything I've been working on forever. The amazing comm [livejournal.com profile] abandonedplaces has long toyed with my brain, saying USE ME FOR SOMETHING! and I finally am figuring out what I can do with all the inspiration there. Oh, and there might be zombies in there. I blame my friends Cid and Suzan for that.

I need to write today! A scene a day to get this thing done by the 27th, oh yeah. And squee, I've seen a preview from my artist and just LOVE her work to bits! It is absolutely perfect for my story.

ALSO [livejournal.com profile] amphigoury I blame you for making me download this amazing song from itunes just now:


So much I want to do today, I need a list:

1. Run to store, buy the bookshelves I looked at yesterday
2. Clean house (kitchen and living room, laundry, vacuum)
3. Put shelves together
4. Add all books into GoodReads. This could take awhile! Put books on new shelves.
5. Fill out all my stuff for Loose-Id...mail it (tomorrow)
6. Make cookies because otherwise [livejournal.com profile] sheswatching will be sad or something TOTAL CHEAT--I bought cookies.
7. Join in on the [livejournal.com profile] paperpushers timed writing madness ONGOING!
8. Read more of ARTS and take notes--omg, I would change so much re: how I wrote that! lol
9. Do my pictures for [livejournal.com profile] neifile7 lest she send a posse after me.
10. Make appointment for the Brat and Shelby for the vet next week
11. Take nap. Hit the treadmill TOOK NAP!!!!
12. Apply for that job I should've like four days ago.
13. Start working on revision letter for LWH. *bites nails*

I forgot to buy shoes yesterday for my dress for Saturday's bridal shower. Dammit. Tomorrow--I'll do that tomorrow... Done!

I am excited to have the house to myself today. Supposed to go to writer's group tonight but am not feeling it--ran around all day the last two days, and I want to be in my own digs to work on LWH. Just need to hole up, you know? I have a lot of work to do!

Also--I got stripey hair yesterday! Cost a wee bit more than I had intended to pay. My daughter made me start going to this hairdresser, and I LOVE what she is doing for me, but I always knew Tiff paid a certain astronomical amount to get her hair done. Her hair is twice and then some as long as mine. So I figured mine would be less...um...gasp...well. Done is done, so I paid. The maintenance on the stripey hair won't be as much but it remains to be seen if I decide it is worth it. It is very different, but I do love it! VERY DIFFERENT FOR ME! I do agree the lighter color looks better (and apparently works better with those of us who secretly have gray hair--dark colors age a person too or something, and I am trying hard not to look my age!).

Power thoughts from all please? Yes? I'll be in a phone hearing re: my unemployment benefits with That Rat Bastard who fired me. I feel confident because I know they don't have a case, but I also know that That Rat Bastard has embellished the truth. He has no real proof though that I said certain things, and the first hearing already went in my favor, so those are pluses.

Still, having to deal with this makes me freaking angry, you know? I want this settled, I want to get on with things, I kinda even want a job soon...and I want to get back to school.

NEWS THERE--I got my letter of acceptance yesterday! So I am officially a student again at UT-Arlington, to start Fall 2011. Oh whee! After Monday--everything is after Monday--I will call and get a time set up to go in and figure out what I need to take. MATHS I need a MATHS class--be prepared for me to collapse and flail! I will not take it first. I'll take it...later. Yeah. Later...

Been reading lots today about that certain NY Times article regarding epic fantasy, Game of Thrones--hello, which I adored, and last I looked I was female--and it really really makes me wonder what the heck I am getting into, pursuing this genre. I actually don't know if my fantasy would be considered 'epic' -- perhaps, perhaps just traditional fantasy, I don't know. I want to get more involved with the genre's peeps--all that 'building the name' stuff--but it is kinda hard to know how to go about it, and yeah, considering my writing 'epic fantasy' and given the realities of the epic fantasy world...it is no wonder I prefer to hang out with my writing group, who are paranormal romance and urban fantasy writers for the most part. They love me regardless of what I write. Smile. I feel safe in their circle!

At this point, just writing the damn book(s) is probably the first line of order, and what I am concentrating on. You should see my OneNote. How did I live without OneNote, I ask you? It has made organizing a breeze. Have put so so so SO much work into it so far and still haven't written a thing of actual story. Good work though, working on it some almost every day. Except for this week as I have been mental a bit, fretting about Monday... Yeah. But after Monday, I should, no WILL be getting back to it. I am almost, almost ready to start hammering out the outline--I certainly know my characters better than I ever thought I would. So that at least is good. Yes.

If not epic, what are fantasy authors like Elizabeth Hayden, Melanie Rawn, Mercedes Lackey considered? Not epic fantasy? Then...what? Am currently reading Hayden's RHAPSODY... it is right up my alley. I like it. I want to be like Haydon. LOL. But moreso, Jacqueline Carey--I have a new one of hers to read, whee! I consider her historical fantasy--sorta. But not really. More... stretched-historical fantasy...but I love her Kushiel books. Some more than others, sure, but mostly yes.

As far as fandom fun goes--been having a blast every weekend helping Nick out with the timed writings group for [livejournal.com profile] paperpushers. I am beta'ing two more peoples now for the big bang--yay!--and love both their stories and am excited to see how they progress. Also of course Nick, who is making great progress, and Jenny, who is not yet, but will. Soon. :) I love beta'ing good writers! They make ME a better writer, too. Love that! Plus I just like to see others figure out how to make themselves shine.

Anything else? Not really...finally got 90% of the money owed me by former work, and still no news yet from Loose-Id, but I do have my Carolyn Gray website all fixed up and am happy with that. Even taking a stab at actively twittering as her but it is weird... Twitter is another place I prefer my safe, cozy group of people who I know, each and every one. Quirky me, yeah.

So, wish me luck, thanks, really do appreciate it--and hopefully by 2:00 central it will be all over with and I can just relax and and and and...write. :)
I had to add this: OMG THE UGLY HEADER IS BACK! LJ, THAT HEADER SUCKS! I HATE IT!!!!! AAAHHH!!!

It has been a busy, interesting week! Or two. So here's how things are:

State of Unemployment: Still unemployed! I got a letter from my ex-employer stating that they were appealing the decision in my favor. However, checking the dates, it looks like they are way, way past the deadline for doing so. They did that on the 7th, it is now 10 days later, and my status with TEC has not changed, no correspondence from them, nothing. I was really really angry that they added some sweet little lies into what The Rat Bastard was claiming I said and did. Pretty mind-blowing. In my next ms, there will be a character named Doran. Expect him to DIE DIE DIE a REALLY REALLY horrible death. REALLY HORRIBLE.

Otherwise, plugging along. Today I went to the Work Resources center for a mandatory orientation, and had a blast. Okay I am weird, right? But there are lots of things I can benefit from there, so next week will zip over (it is about 15 minutes from here) and take the different things. Plus, they keep track, and it looks good on record.

State of the Loose-Id: Progress! My editor needs a synopsis and some other info from me so the ms can go to the next stage. Squee! Am I excited? Yes I am excited! YOU BET I am excited! And tomorrow will be Synopsis Day. My alarm is set for 7:30 and I will be hammering out that puppy all day.

State of the Writing Part 1 (Splash Page) Thanks to the word wars on the weekend, my first draft stands at....16,103 words. Am I excited? YOU BET I AM! Sure it is a messy first draft but that is okay. I am writing the first draft fast and dirty, and just having fun with it. Working on it on weekends only.

State of the Writing Part 2 (Fantasy): I am starting to feel like a full-time writer. If I am not doing chores, talking to Nick, playing with the dogs or sleeping, or oh yeah, job hunting, I am working either on Splash Page or on this. I have three writing group meetings a week, and my writing peeps are dedicated and determined. I wish I could just do life like this forever, but alas, eventually the money will run out. Pout. But I am not bored. Oh far from it!. Anyway. This no-name fantasy that needs a name (The Beast Boy sound bad? I could call it TBB for short) is absolutely stealing my brain, my heart, my waking moments, and even stealing many of my should-be-sleeping moments and I LOVE IT. As I've explained before, my Saturday group, Warrior Writers, has a set plan for getting a novel ready for writing. As a Plotmeister, I love it. So far this is what I have:

1. Goals! yes I have them
2. Worldbuilding! Yes, I have it solidly started, using OneNote (best tool EVER! if you want ideas for how to make it work for you, I have them) to keep track of things. but as I discovered, worldbuilding takes time, is fluid, and will never end. So this is an ongoing thing.
3. Antagonist! Yes, Unser LIVES! I have never worked so hard to prepare a character, and I LOVE him. He is so evil! In all the best ways. I learned a lot remoulding him from the sketchy bits I've had sitting around all these years.
4. Protagonist! Yes, Jax lives! And so does Aneli! And I have three more! But WOW, I have never been fond of character studies, but for some reason, with the approach we take, it is working for me. If anyone is curious and would like to see, holler. Next up is Minions. Minions? Okay, I do have one in mind, and she is one wicked thing, so she will be fun to work on. So yeah. By the time I am done with all these, writing the basic outline of the story will be a piece of red velvet cupcake.
and there is a bit more behind the cut )
Such a nice weekend here in North Texas--beautiful and sunny though the temps were colder, which I appreciated actually. I am not ready for winter to end here, thanks. Plus I got to spend lots of time with Nick. :) I always love that!

Okay so what did I accomplish this last week. Let me think...

C is terribly lj cut challenged )
Every day, I think I should sit down and jot down a quick post of what is going on in my life. I have been very bad about doing that, and not because I am too busy--it is just a pain to get that which is in my head down onto the printed page. So, I decided to take a chapter from [livejournal.com profile] madwriter and make up a posting format where I can easily plug in what is going on. Surely, surely, that will help me update more often? So, here we go:

State of the Work Thing

Did not get the job I interviewed for last week, but primary reason I didn't appears to be because the attorney snapped up an applicant he knew already. So that was that. But, had super-awesome long talk with Renita, the Law, Snakard personnel director, and she adores me and wants me to work there and would I be interested in another position there? Uh, yes? She has two possible situations coming up, and asked that if I didn't hear from her within a couple of weeks to touch base. Also, she said she would poke around with her network, though "I don't want to lose you to anyone else." Also learned that salaries are quite a bit higher these days than they were way-back-when. Um, lots more than I was making at B&W... so yeah, a legal gig? Might not be a bad thing.

State of the Unemployment

Waiting on the decision. Had the telephone interview regarding my side of things; no one from B&W showed up. Old boss Chris hmmmm'd at that, and believes that B&W made alot (A LOT, STUPID FINGERS) of mistakes--especially with giving no warnings, etc. We'll see. I hope I get it but if not, my dad is being very supportive. And, my ESOP monies should be here very soon.

State of the House

One would think being home so much, my house would be spotless. But being unemployed does not turn me into a supreme housekeeper, apparently.

State of Writing, Part 1

I sent in my manuscript the first part of January, and have not heard from my editor yet, so I dropped her a line last night. I really hope to hear soon, dangitall!

State of Writing, Part 2

Next Loose-Id story: I *was* going to do MS Idea #1 first, but have pushed it back, and will be doing MS Idea #2, which is taking a character from the ms I am waiting to hear on, and giving him his own story. He is about as down and out as a character can be--starting literally from nothing. I ache to write him in first person, but my editor... Oh man. So, I may just write him in limited third, which I have not done before. I'll start hashing out the plot on that puppy probably tomorrow. Don't have to do much before I get started writing.

State of Writing Part 3

This is the big one, full blown historical fantasy, actually a serious rehaul of my fantasy I've worked on off and on for ten years or so. Until now, I have not had the wherewithall to pull off doing this...I just wasn't ready, it wasn't the right time, I had no brain, whatever. But now I have the support I need to make it work (and the maturity? I don't know...). In any case, I have found the guidance I need to tackle this and shape up what I have to make it work with my new vision. It'll be a huge undertaking, but I've already made more progress with the planning stage than I ever thought possible. It is AWESOME. I may write more about that later, as it is a different approach than I've seen before, while not really being that different. It is just ORGANIZED.

State of Writing Part 4

I am signing up for [livejournal.com profile] paperlegends. I know, I know, crazy chick...but I have this idea I want to explore, and that will be a fun way to do it. Even if no one reads it, that's fine. I am used to not being read by people. If I can make what I want to do work, I do fully intend on blowing it up into a ms for Loose-Id. I have just never written scary before... LOL! Will take a stab.

State of Health

I have set a goal to lose 15 lbs, and to help with that starting tomorrow I am going back on my Diet of Fierceness. I have also joined the YMCA, though my left knee has been angry at me for awhile. It is much better the last few days though so I am going to start going to the YMCA again starting tomorrow. Trying to get a regular schedule set for going--I actually always preferred evenings, so think I will go back to that.

State of Everything Else

All is well everywhere else. I am keeping busy, though I think a more set routine is in order. I try not to think about the scary side of being unemployed, or the cold hard fact that I don't have a ticket to the UK to go see Nick in my hand--that really slays me tons, it has been a full year now! Okay, that is too damn long. Dammit. I am antsy to get out of here and DO something, SEE things, EXPLORE and and and and... yeah. Sigh.

And that is about it. Future entries will (or should) be more specifically geared toward parts of the above. I need to get back into the habit of ljing regularly, and also? I need to start working on pumping up both Carolyn Gray and myself, too, and blogging regularly under www.carolyngraybooks.com and www.carolynrogers.wordpress.com (I am in the process of trying to get www.carolynrogers.com--the person who utilized it before no longer seems to be doing so, so I'm going after them using GoDaddy's service for that. I WANT MY NAME DAMMIT!) I also, sigh, should be having an open twitter under carolynrogers and carolyngray but OMG... Well, more on social media and name-branding later. It is all new to me, but my crit group leader is a huge banana in the field, a strong advocate for name-branding. Eek, she wants me to get a FACEBOOK! NoooOoooooOOOooooOOOOooooOOOOoooooO!!!!!

And one last thing:

State of the Puppies

Lazy, as usual. :)