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August 2017

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Yes, just deleted a lot of nonsense. Tomorrow is another day, after all.

So, Nanowrimo! Who on here is doing it? I know a ton of my flisters are writing for various comm events and such, but if any of you out there are doing Nano in November in addition to or instead of and want to friend me over there I am once again Tatteredleaf.

Fifteen days to go until my book is out. EEEK. I am both excited and terribly, terribly nervous. There are things I did in the book that I probably should not have (a certain explosion comes to mind) and I could've done other parts different, and possibly therefore better, but... No no, don't think about that, it'll drive a person crazy.

I have absolutely forbidden myself to look on GoodReads, so if anyone sees me trying to sneak over there, smack me. I know it is in my best interest to just stay away from general commenting re: the book. Oh hey, it is a new month, I shall dash off... okay never mind. It is still under the Coming Soon. No blurb yet! *panic* I want to see what it ends up being. Argh. Not yet though.

And that is all, for now. Holler if you are on Nanowrimo, yo. I got 53k last year and hope to get that again, though being in school may cause a bit of a challenge.
Power thoughts from all please? Yes? I'll be in a phone hearing re: my unemployment benefits with That Rat Bastard who fired me. I feel confident because I know they don't have a case, but I also know that That Rat Bastard has embellished the truth. He has no real proof though that I said certain things, and the first hearing already went in my favor, so those are pluses.

Still, having to deal with this makes me freaking angry, you know? I want this settled, I want to get on with things, I kinda even want a job soon...and I want to get back to school.

NEWS THERE--I got my letter of acceptance yesterday! So I am officially a student again at UT-Arlington, to start Fall 2011. Oh whee! After Monday--everything is after Monday--I will call and get a time set up to go in and figure out what I need to take. MATHS I need a MATHS class--be prepared for me to collapse and flail! I will not take it first. I'll take it...later. Yeah. Later...

Been reading lots today about that certain NY Times article regarding epic fantasy, Game of Thrones--hello, which I adored, and last I looked I was female--and it really really makes me wonder what the heck I am getting into, pursuing this genre. I actually don't know if my fantasy would be considered 'epic' -- perhaps, perhaps just traditional fantasy, I don't know. I want to get more involved with the genre's peeps--all that 'building the name' stuff--but it is kinda hard to know how to go about it, and yeah, considering my writing 'epic fantasy' and given the realities of the epic fantasy is no wonder I prefer to hang out with my writing group, who are paranormal romance and urban fantasy writers for the most part. They love me regardless of what I write. Smile. I feel safe in their circle!

At this point, just writing the damn book(s) is probably the first line of order, and what I am concentrating on. You should see my OneNote. How did I live without OneNote, I ask you? It has made organizing a breeze. Have put so so so SO much work into it so far and still haven't written a thing of actual story. Good work though, working on it some almost every day. Except for this week as I have been mental a bit, fretting about Monday... Yeah. But after Monday, I should, no WILL be getting back to it. I am almost, almost ready to start hammering out the outline--I certainly know my characters better than I ever thought I would. So that at least is good. Yes.

If not epic, what are fantasy authors like Elizabeth Hayden, Melanie Rawn, Mercedes Lackey considered? Not epic fantasy? Then...what? Am currently reading Hayden's RHAPSODY... it is right up my alley. I like it. I want to be like Haydon. LOL. But moreso, Jacqueline Carey--I have a new one of hers to read, whee! I consider her historical fantasy--sorta. But not really. More... stretched-historical fantasy...but I love her Kushiel books. Some more than others, sure, but mostly yes.

As far as fandom fun goes--been having a blast every weekend helping Nick out with the timed writings group for [ profile] paperpushers. I am beta'ing two more peoples now for the big bang--yay!--and love both their stories and am excited to see how they progress. Also of course Nick, who is making great progress, and Jenny, who is not yet, but will. Soon. :) I love beta'ing good writers! They make ME a better writer, too. Love that! Plus I just like to see others figure out how to make themselves shine.

Anything else? Not really...finally got 90% of the money owed me by former work, and still no news yet from Loose-Id, but I do have my Carolyn Gray website all fixed up and am happy with that. Even taking a stab at actively twittering as her but it is weird... Twitter is another place I prefer my safe, cozy group of people who I know, each and every one. Quirky me, yeah.

So, wish me luck, thanks, really do appreciate it--and hopefully by 2:00 central it will be all over with and I can just relax and and and and...write. :)
Today, you have been odd.

Had no sleep last night--sent Nick a phonepic of my clock at 1:15 a.m. with a whiny message but that wasn't the last time I looked at the clock. Then, suddenly my alarm went off--I am trying to stay with a 7:30 a.m. up-time regardless of what I do--so up I got. Then daughter comes to me crying--her BFF#4 (lotsa BFF's has she) lost his mother this morning after a ten year battle with illness. It was expected, but they are very close, hope to be roommates eventually, and all this brings back lots of hard memories for Tiff of when her dad died. But Troy needs her and she's been with him all day.

I accomplished nothing today other than dealing with that (lotsa hugs). Read over two fics I had beta'd, happy to see them both wrapped up, and watched lots of Supernatural (episodes of which seemed to have become like my comfort blanket--I barely pay attention, really, but the boys do a good job keeping me company), sorted shoes (daughter has a HUGE basketful, and they were all right at the door, geesh), and played with the dogs.

At least later today was more productive! Made a post on my pro blog (feels very weird to post things there), wrote a bunch of junk re: my fantasy magic system, and...


I wanted to work on my Merlin Big Bang, but I just now opened it for the first time today. It needs work work work and I am in the mood of 'man, what is the point?' re: writing it for that purpose. I would rather beta, honestly--I love beta'ing my writers. They need to hurry up and write more so I can beta more, right?

I am also determinedly trying not to think of my phone hearing on Monday. Oh yes, didn't I mention? Bastards at my former place of employment are trying to fight my unemployment. I am not afraid, definitely not of that bastard (who my lovely writing group promises to kill off in their fics--love them) but very, very annoyed. I don't want to deal with this, but will, because I am right and they are wrong. Bastards.

Happily, I got my ESOP money finally, so at least there is plenty in the bank. What would make me even happier? To hear from Loose-Id would make me REALLY happy. Really really really really.

In fantasy news, things are marching along, though in an unexpected manner--one of my characters became something that I didn't expect, which is leading me to create a whole culture I hadn't expected to. Also, it seems there will be water dragons...kinda cool, that. I hope to start writing on this soon. Ready or not, I need to get going.

I wish I was going to England...
There is one up-side about being unemployed when one is truly a writer at heart--all this extra time to write. I've been making the most of it when not looking for a job, or going to the unemployment resource center, or, as has been the case the last couple of days, totally freaking out I don't have a job yet and it has been 3 months already zomg zomg. Most of the time I can keep my spirits up, but sometimes it smacks me. The optimism sinks, I get blue, and I just want to curl up in my bed and pull my blankie over my head. I wallow for a bit but something clicks again, and I get my good attitude back again. Today I made myself go to Starbucks and sure enough, things seemed much more hopeful again. I do love my Starbucks (especially when my kid is working--freebies for Mom!).

Thanks to helping Nick with the Merlin Big Bang [ profile] paperpushers timed writings (WORD WARS!) every weekend, I've already hit 23k so far with Splash Page. I love love love word wars! My competitive nature kicks in, though, so I have to chill. I am a fast writer when I actually am ready to write, but I pay the price with my achy arms later, and also with having to go back over everything. Not complaining though--I love rewriting. ;) Also, another bonus comes with doing these--meeting new peoples! I love new peoples. (Hello those new peoples who have joined my flistees!)

I only work on SP on the weekends though. Weekdays, in-between all the other stuff, it's the fantasy. Things are starting to come together there. So far, I've got the Antagonist, two of the Protagonists, the Main Minion figured out, a ton of worldbuilding stuff, all of which has forced me to figure out aspects of the story I hadn't thought I needed to. Or would eventually get to but didn't need to now. This Warrior Writer method is lots of fun and suits me as a plotmeister, but I'm started to get antsy. I want to finish all this preliminary work and just get writing.

Ballet Boy still doesn't have a title I like much. I don't know what the problem is, but settling on something has been super-hard. Last week I turned in a detailed synopsis, logline, etc., and getting through all that stuff about killed me. LOL. Writing a synopsis after finishing the book just was SO much fun (snark). Got it done though (with much whining on twitter). Now it has all gone to The Big Decider, and hopefully hopefully hopefully I'll get word soon that it is a go.

And of course then I will start freaking out that it needs more work, isn't good enough, sucks royally and will get horrid reviews (as compared to the first). Meep. My editor loved it though, so here's hoping...

Going to try to convince myself to get some sleep now. Am TRYING to sleep regular hours, but have found those damn blues mess with my brain and sometimes I can't get to sleep, or stay asleep, and then morning comes and I get smacked with the no-job thing, and I want to just hide under that blankie some more... Now that my tree outside has leaves, I am going to try and sleep with my curtains open a little bit. See if waking up to sunshine instead of a dark room helps. Guess I'll see in the morning, yeah? Tomorrow is writer's group though (aka #writersnightout, Thursday being #writersdatenight, and yeah we are silly) so I'm planning now to have a good day tomorrow, dammit, or else. Pretending to be a full-time writer usually works and at least on Tuesdays and Thursdays, I manage to pull it off pretty darn well.

Oh! And I forgot, Saturday is going to be wonderful--I have a ticket to go see PARKED, staring Colin Morgan, yo, and Colm Meaney, who I also have always adored. A day in Dallas will be fun, and I hope to see [ profile] lindalee afterward for something delicious and awesome and healthy because like me, she's into that sort of thing. LOL. Need to arrange that. What will be a huge challenge for me will be understanding Colin Morgan, as he makes no effort to change his accent. He definitely won't sound like Merlin for this one! (I could possibly also see it Sunday if I feel the urge). Here's hoping my ears tune quickly to his accent. LOL.
We got just a little bit of the big wintry storm early this morning here in North Texas, but it was enough to shut down the city. Both kids' universities were closed, though my daughter spent the night at a friend's. She called this morning, upset and freaked out--she was trying to get home, and got the car stuck in ice. *sigh* Fortunately lotsa boys came to her rescue and they got her out--she should've been home in 15 minutes, but with all the road closings and general mess it took her almost two hours. No sanding, no salting, the city's solution was to just close roads. Oh, Texas!

OH LOL all the universities around are closed again. TCU, TCC, UTA, North Texas...which means all the regular schools will be too. WE CANNOT COPE! WE JUST CANNOT COPE! I am laughing. Oh man. Oh, Texas!

So, the job hunt continues. Not much to report there, not at all. We're doing okay though...bills for Feb are paid in full, and there's still enough in the bank not to panic yet. I really rather not spend that on bills and general living--I kinda want to go see [ profile] cruentum, you know? I miss him terrible-fierce, and we're about to hit the one-year mark since we saw each other last. This is the longest stretch we've gone, and we don't like it. Not at all. Today was his first day at his new job and it was okay but rough too, yeah, new job blues, the new kid on the block, etc. -- the joys of starting any new job, but compounded with it being in a different country makes it tougher, I think. He really has done amazing, though. You bet I am proud of my baby. :)

I signed up to beta for [ profile] paperlegends. I'll be tending to a couple of others already, but I do love beta'ing, and so many are asking for help. It makes me happy and feel positive to do things for others, especially after a terrible January of blueness. I need it. I got really, really depressed--almost 15 years associated with the railroad, poof. Gone. Yes it does help tremendously that everyone I cared about is also gone, but you bet I am in mourning. It is so damn sad. Sigh. I hope I can find another job I care about as much, but I don't know if I will. For about 8 years there, things were beautiful, and the thought of leaving? Oh hell no. And then.... *throws hands up* And then.

Still waiting to hear from my publisher, argh. I WANT WORD! Like, NOW. That would be nice. LOL. My editor promised to get to the ms as soon as possible but I do have to wait my turn. OMG I nearly spelled that 'tern'. LOL. January, was too frozen brain-wise and heart-wise to start anything new, but everyone keeps telling me I *am* allowed to have some fun, so I'm working on a couple of new stories. One is for Loose-Id, and the other is my first serious stab at the not-urban (but rustic!) fantasy genre. My writing group is hugely supportive (and whip-crackery!) so I'm optimistic about it going well. The new fic for my publisher is SPLASH PAGE (title via the marvelous [ profile] amand_r and yes Mander I swiped it from Blue!), and boy do I have alot to learn about the comics world. FUN research though! Very fun. :)

Got my computer back from the shop, it works great, stays way cool and comfy but the fan! It is louder! My computer would be terrible at hide and seek! The CPU is staying quite cool so I guess I should not complain, but anyone have any thoughts about fans, holler.

And now to go figure out two guys' names for my new story. Maybe if I start working on this, I'll stop angsting over hearing re: my other ms. *bites nails*

I leave you with PUPPIES! Happy huskies in the 'snow.' Yes, that is all we got. Oh, Texas!

snowsnowwhee )
There is nothing like losing a once-beloved job to bring one to one's knees, is there? Add in a pesky stomach virus that was determined to hang hard for 5-6 days, and it is a sure-fire recipe for hitting rock-bottom. This last week sucked, sucked so hard. Pretty much from Sunday to Friday morning, I wallowed, and wailed, and whined, and was just horribly miserable. Not fit company at all. I've avoided lj for that reason, except for lurking about. Mostly I just watched shows on my computer, and read on my new Kindle (which I adore). And cried. And hid. (see why I stayed away?)

People found me anyway, cheering me up so much with emails, calls, tweets, pressies, advice, hugs, love, encouragement, doses of sympathy, understanding and, sigh, commiseration. Oh man. Thank you so much guys. You are all helping me through.

Knowing that that office is now all but empty is a small comfort. At least I was there during the golden days, and I don't miss what is left. Oh no way, not at all. They'll have hell rebuilding that office again, if they even mean to. I fancy that they won't, now. They'll never get people willing to work for what they want to pay. Not in the GIS field. Har.

Still, man, it sucks! Mornings are worst--I should be up, going to work, making the money. But am not. At least not yet. I've signed up to work temp--that could be helpful in finding a job, and at least keeping me from moping around the house! I am not good at this at-home thing, not when Responsibilities are weighing heavy on my head. I'm okay for awhile, but I really rather not spend what I've got, you know? I'd much rather save it, and spend a wee bit going to see Nick (who, this time next week, will be in the UK for at least the next three years--whee!). So, yeah.

So am trying to shake it off. Shake off the freak-outs, shake off the OMG's, believe that I will get something that will pay the bills until I can finish my schooling goals.

AND WHAT ARE THOSE? Finish my degree. I went to UTA and talked to the folks there and they have just the degree for me--BA in University Studies. Not the fanciest degree name, but I'll take it. I'm probably around 7 or so classes from being able to snag that puppy. I missed the chance to take a class this semester, very unfortunately, but I'll get started this summer. After I get that, I'll move forward with the next step. First things first though.

My daughter brought me a cookie! And Shelby just about snatched it from me, the varmint. Sneaking from under my desk drawer-tray, the wench. I saved it from her though, go me!

So, if anyone has any job suggestions, holler...part of me wouldn't mind just working temp and/or freelance until the fall and then being a full-time student, get the rest of my classes done then. That would be sweet! But...who knows if that can work out. Would be nice though! I am determined to look at things more positively now. I am tired of being miserable!
Okay flisties in the US, what sources would you suggest for job hunting? Given my former job experience (railroad-specific, some GIS, mapping, research but not of the science kind but the contract kind, but in terms of researching historical documents and contracts, as well as further in the past, legal secretarial) I have no idea what I will end up doing.

I don't want to go back to the admin world, I really really don't. I am much happier doing my projects on my own, or as part of a team, than obeying the whims of bossy ol' lawyers. And yeah, I've worked for great lawyers in the past, but the douchebag ones (did I really say that?) really turned me off from the legal world.

Anyway, suggestions welcome!

I hate job hunting.

Tomorrow I go back to UTA to figure out what to make of my messy, whacked past. This'll be super-interesting, to say the least. I want to take at least one class, and have a couple of options to make that happen. Fingers crossed I can work it out, and get started on changing my life education-wise.
What a couple of weeks this has been. Per agreement with Nick, I will not think about, discuss, muse over, reflect upon, nor mention my former employer again. I am done. Instead, I will treasure the wonderful friends I made there--Cody, Jeremy, Chris, Leigh Ann, Tommy and Kevin, and the good years we had working together--and forget everything else. Today I had lunch with Cody, Leigh Ann and Tommy, and next week will with Chris, Leigh Ann and Kevin. Kevin is the only one still there, and he has his last interview for a new job in the morning. He predicts giving notice shortly. There will be three left then. Three plus the weasel, who has turned out to be the biggest, most disappointing friendship in my life. They can have it. Oh yeah.
clicky this please )
Remember how I posted a couple of posts ago about how Doran, the boss boss from Topeka who fired everyone I cared about at B&W, including my dear boss, was in town? Well guess what! Today, using the most lame, ridiculous and stupidest reasons I've ever heard, he fired me. Yup. Gone. Toast. Christmas week. That is it. 9.5 years with the company mean nothing to him--he wanted me out and he came up with the way. He didn't give a damn about my rock-solid history with the company (he has been with B&W since April). In fact he pretty much told me he didn't believe Chris ever evaluated me honestly. Too good to be true? Nope. I am that good. LOLOL. Word was flying around BNSF, all the people I helped hearing about it (and on the heels of Chris), already and Chris has heard from one who wants to talk to me. It is no secret (he tells me) that after all the work we did in our office was shipped up to Topeka that the quality plummeted. I believe it, as I had super-high standards and wasn't doing it anymore. Rawr. He hears complaints, which I knew, but yeah. Wow.

Soon as I got home I contacted BNSF corporate support, and there are two positions opening early January, both in contracts--lol where I hailed from. Same group. Steve, my former boss there, is happy for me to come back. Chris is there too, and all my old coworkers--I'm going to be welcomed back with open arms.

Insane, huh?

I have to say that though there is shock racing through my system, there are no regrets, there is mostly relief. I did nothing wrong, and I stand by that. I have watched that company go from incredible, awesome, caring and a really fantastic place to work, to a place that now has five people left, and Kevin was interviewing today--he called me on his way, having heard from Juan what happened. Juan too has been polishing his resume with the intent to start hunting after the first of a year.

It has been a fascinating experience, coming into a company--asked to come work there by Chris all those years ago--and doing fantastic work, learning so many new things, and watching it grow and change and catch the excitement of new technologies... And then to see it fall hard as all the best and brightest were systematically pushed out. Splat. And it isn't done yet, I am sure of it. Five people left, one actively looking--what ARE they doing? A year ago we had 14 people there. Now five.

So, here I am! Sitting in my daughter's Starbucks while she works and plies me with coffee. Looks like a couple of weeks off unexpectedly, but with a position after the first of the year. Thank you, Steve! Looking forward to working with that crew again, AND Chris again. :) I'll be cleaning the house and putting the tree up tomorrow with the kids, and we're planning on Tron for Christmas Day and dinner at my friend Leigh Ann's house. It's going to be a good, if very simple Christmas. Next week my sister Leslie and her daughter Lexie are coming, so that will be fun. And then hopefully the following week I can get back to BNSF.

In the meantime, I've got a lot of rewriting to get done, a book to polish, and another to finish. Will try to make the most of these two unexpected weeks off, and make 2011 a different, but awesome year. :)
I keep changing my 'I'll be done by...' date.

Current status: 97,332 words (had gone up to 98ksomething, but latter chapter had lotsa problems and had to be rewritten--tighter, sharper. Better.)

I have twenty-one chapters, and about to reread Chapter Ten's rewrite of a few days ago. It hopefully is good to go, and I can move on. End of Chapter Ten hits 41,762 words. I am just about to where I had left off after the initial mad writing with the GYWO group. Most of this part up to now was written in word wars which, while getting lotsa words down fast, is really actually pretty useless. Fast writing is crap writing, at least for me. I've had to do TONS of work on this story up to this point--tons and tons. From this point on, it was Nano writing: slower, more thoughtful, not rushing to get word count in, but writing-with-a-plan.

That worked for me oh so very much better. So much better.

While I don't at all disagree with 'just get the first draft down, dammit' is important, for me, the rush to just get anything down simply does not work. For the Nano-writing, I went back to how I wrote Red--scene by scene, with rewrites of the previous scene until satisfied, then moving on. It would take me all weekend to get 5-6 k, but when I moved on I was happy with what I had (knowing there would be another pass, later--two passes, as there will be one more final go-through).

Now I am hoping this puppy will be out of here by the end of the month. This past week was not the best (ugh, work, shakes fist) but am hopefully going to find this coming week better. Well, after I finish my $@#% review tomorrow.

Anyway...making progress, just slower than I expected. I'm starting to get my pseudonym's personae revived...not that she breathed much in the past. The epub world has changed SO very much since I sold Red to Loose-Id, so when (she said with conviction!) this book comes out, it'll be a very different process for me. Definitely different attitude! I've decided to center most of my pseudo-action around Goodreads...they have a fantastic m/m group on there already, and they recently chose Red as the book-read-of-the-month. They've got a very active group and I've been lurking. I've also got the pseudonym's website up and running, but still have lots of work to do on it.

I just want to get this done! I've got ideas how to save the other story (has 68k written on it so this is good!), and am itching, BAD, to get started on the new one. Really itchy-bad.

In other news...I'm bouncing all over, supporting Nick as he starts to plan for his move to Plymouth, UK. Trading in my German for a Brit! :) It is so, so darn exciting! I wish I could help him more than I can from so far away. Sigh. If all goes well I will be there in July. Gosh I hope so.

Better get cracking, I suppose! Need to switch laundry around, Son is cleaning upstairs, daughter is still fast asleep. Lazy girl. We may get the tree up around Tuesday. We don't like getting it up too early...and tree prices go down closer to Christmas. :) I'm sure we will have another TCU Christmas tree. Purple and silver. Pretty!

Any others out there not have their Christmas tree up yet? Nick's family puts theirs up the night before Christmas, which I love. Always has the cutest trees. We always seem to put ours up just days before.
Nick just posted this in his lj, and while I can't think of anything to tell him he doesn't know, yet, which may be a good thing but also could be bad (I am boring? He knows me too well? eek) I thought I'd toss it out here too.

I know very little about some of the people on my friends list. Some people I know relatively well. But here's a thought: why not take this opportunity to tell me a little something about yourself. Any old thing at all. Just so the next time I see your name I can say: "Ah, there's so and so...she likes office supplies." I'd love it if every single person who friended me would do this. (Yes, even you people who I know really well. Then post this in your own journal. In return, ask me anything you'd like to know about me and I'll give you an answer.)

I'm relistening to A CLASH OF KINGS, book 2 of the Song of Fire and Ice series by George RR Martin. I so cannot wait for the HBO production. I so hope it goes on long enough to tie up the series in case GRRM never does. Argh. I love love love this world like crazy beans, and it'll be very intriguing also to see if fandoms spring up (which I bet they do) with lotsa fanfic being written (which I bet there already is). GRRM makes it known he does not like fanfiction. It'll still happen though. Not from me--I'll be busy writing my own epic fantasy, lol.

It is weird--now that I have watched the trailer for Thrones, the actors have wended their way into my interpretation of the characters. I see their faces as I listen. This is okay as I think they did a fantastic job with the casting. Sansa is not quite what I imagined but I haven't seen enough of her to really say this is a bad thing. Daenerys though? Wow. Okay, whoa. Like her very much. Arya! Bran! Caetlyn! (oh dear Caetlyn, oh man), JAMIE!, Jon Snow--wasn't sure at first but I am listening to a Jon segment now and wham, there he is in my head. Good good good. And Ned, OH NED STARK!!! I could cry, just cry for what will come...and Sean Bean is brilliant, brilliant, brilliant for that role. I am verrryyyy happppyyyyyy!!! :)

Ballet boy is sitting safely inside my Dropbox (and on my thumb drive), waiting for attention. I realized this morning that I haven't written anything since finishing it on Sunday and that is why I have been a snarling raving unhappy whiney thing. My evenings are dark and senselessly boring and lonely and it is, I realize, because I really really miss the joy of writing this book in the evenings. I don't now what to do with myself. I love that I finally FOUND that joy--it took awhile--but now I miss it horribly. This weekend will be devoted to it though--got lots of things to work on still, just needed a few days' break before hopping back to the beginning. I did go through the first three chapters and gnash my teeth that it isn't as strong of writing as the last part, but not really surprising given I took so damn long to finish the darn thing. Two years is way too long for a 96k fic.

Yuletide is up next! I got something rather unexpected, so hope I can do well by it.

Back to work. I am not sure why I stopped to write a post--shame on me! Back to listening to CLASH, and plugging railroad crossing information into RIS. Exciting.


Oct. 1st, 2010 09:47 pm
paragraphs: Come Travel with Me (Default)
I am Tatteredleaf on Nano. I've added a few of you lot, but would happily add more. Now that I have two ML's behind me, snapping their whips--and both are scarily prolific--I am optimistic that this Nano will be a wild one. LOL. And successful.

For me, that means 25k. If my hands agree to let me go further than that, then we will do so.

I'm definitely more ready for this one than any other one I've semi-attempted. More later on that.

More importantly--thank you everyone for all your comments and emails regarding my situation at work. A huge, terrible disappointment, that's for sure. My now-former-boss is doing fine, has some good leads, and hopefully all will be even better for him. I hope so, he deserves it.

That leaves me, and my extreme disappointment with this company. I can't stay there anymore. I will for awhile, as I can't just run off and quit--I have too many responsibilities for that--but I can start thinking seriously about my game plan. Lots to think about, but now that my last hold on this city is gone, there is a strange sense of freedom that I like. I don't have to stay here, not really, unless I want to. Right now I do, and I can deal with the situation at work without getting hurt, I am pretty sure. But I will also get my resume ready, put some feelers out to the Railroad to people I know there, and if something comes of that, will go for it. I hate to give up the railroad life after so many years, but maybe I am meant to. Who knows?

But thank you all, your thoughts, growls,, you all are awesome. I am crushed and sad. Sigh.

ANYWAY! Onward now, Nano looms, there are other books to finish and finish rewriting, and a special project I'll be a part of later. Much, much good to come.
My job I've loved the last oh decade, thereabouts? Got ruined this week. My boss got fired, let go, sent off, whatever. I've known Chris for 14.5 years, worked for him almost 10, and now, he is gone.

This is hard. Chris is my age, we have alot in common including losing a spouse in the past...he was fantastic to me during Kel's illness and after. He's been more than just a boss for a long time now, hugely supportive of me and my work. I don't know all the details yet (bossboss is saying one thing, Chris another), but I know enough to know from here on out, I'll be watching my back, being extra-careful not to screw anything up, and start thinking seriously about other options.

I have no idea what else I *can* do. My job is unique and not applicable anywhere else.

Maybe I will go back to what? Hmmm, I dunno.

Makes me sad. Yesterday, I was also angry, furious, frustrated, and extremely disappointed. Okay still all those things.

Sigh. Damn.

My work doesn't change much, as I actually work for Allan, it is more...Chris won't be there to yack at, my protective shield is gone, and having to adopt a cautious attitude sucks.
If you would like to read my entries, just leave a comment here and I'll more than likely be happy to friend you back. Unless of course you are one of those Russian bots. [ profile] green_knight suggested I leave a few posts open to show whoever what I'm like, so I chose a few from my trip to Wales. Not that I have strangers popping by here wondering who [ profile] paragraphs is, but you never know. :)

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Zang! Who is that, rampaging along the freeway! It is Paragraphs, hands clutching a reflective halberd! She screams ominously:

"Blood and souls for my dark lord! I hereby snap and go berzerk!"

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Tax Time

Jan. 31st, 2010 03:15 pm
paragraphs: Come Travel with Me (Default)
Dammit, I lack ONE 1099, from Loose-Id, before I can do them. This is very aggravating. Don't they understand I have a plane ticket to buy? Legally, the latest they could send it out was yesterday. Not amused! I want it NOW! I had hoped to do the taxes today, but no. Sigh.

Prices have dropped like crazy. Nick and I are planning to meet in London in late March after he is done with his finals, and after my kids are back from Italy. They get home, I leave. LOL. They'll be gone for 10 trip will be shorter, BUT, the plan is for us to meet again just after Christmas, in Scotland! To see JB in Panto! WHEE! I have 3 weeks of vacation so will split it between the two trips. Best way to spend my vacation time, oh yeah.

Dentist tomorrow. She will yell about my broken tooth. Such is life.

Am waiting for daughter to go to work so I can get back to work on my fic. About six or so, I'll start making the dog biscuits for Haiti. Got all the ingredients to make the peanut butter ones today.

Go daughter go away NOW... LOL. She turned on the telly in the other room. That girl HAS to have the telly on ALL THE TIME!