paragraphs | C is off rambling again: Fandoms, Writing, Nick, X-Stitch etc.

January 2023

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Nick just did a post in his lj about himself, which has inspired me not to do the same but just to plunk down what's been going on in my world as I rarely post things of substance.

NANO:
I made such great progress last week, almost 9k words (for me in a week that is fantastic), which brings my total for ballet boy to just under 59k. I *should* be able to turn it in first part of December. ZOMG YES! Yes, I am behind on the word count for Nano, but I'm not entirely doing it correctly anyway, completing an already-started manuscript as I am. Whatever. I'll get my 50k in by the end, and am happy about that, it'll just involve ending one ms and starting the next one which ultimately will end up with Loose-Id too, I hope. I am planning on it anyway.

2011 ORIG FICTION PLANS:
For other original fiction geared toward the fantasy market, I've settled on that too, and have been covertly working on it behind-the-scenes...primarily the planning stages. Right now, my #1 priority is finishing this ms, and the end is finally in sight, I'm making exciting progress and am extraordarily excited about that.

MAH LOCAL PEEPS OF AWESOME:
I have to say, a huge reason I am so much happier writing these days is, hands down, because of my friends here where I live. I've got a fantastic writing group now--Cid, Linda, Alice and Suz--they keep me sane and going ever-forward. It is awesome to have people around here who are fun and inspiring and enthusiastic and want me to adopt them. LOL! We have fun, and I'm learning so much from them too. Never thought I'd find peoples like that here. I'd given up. There are other good kids too, though these four are my core peeps.

I am much happier these days, I think, with writing and the writing world back as my priority in life again. Nick's writing again like a maniac too, and a couple who writes together... LOL! Seriously. I love love LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE him. And his writing. Oh yeah.

MERLIN:
So! Nick's also dragged me into the Merlin fandom, though as with Torchwood, I'm just hanging onto his coattails, on the edge. I like the edge. I've always preferred it there, under the radar. Merlin, Merlin...the fandom is so very very different from Torchwood. Lots of good people, but as with any fandom, there are Issues. Mostly, I just ignore them, watch the show and enjoy each episode as it comes without any expectations other than having fun, and read some of the fic. There are some good writers in the fandom, without doubt, and I love that there's alot of RPS as I enjoy Bradley James and Colin Morgan and their dynamics. The guys are great friends, are so different yet get along and are fun to watch.

TORCHWOOD:
I have to admit, except for Mander's TW 4.0, which is incredible and why aren't you reading it? GO HERE NOW: http://amand-r.livejournal.com/493428.html) I am not reading much TW. Those who know me know I love the show, am excited about the new Torchwood, that yes, while RTD is a prat in many ways, there is a hell of a lot I admire about what he's accomplished (especially after reading A Writer's Tale). So, I stay away from all discussion, wank and growls for a reason, as everyone does have the right to an opinion and I just prefer not to get involved with the hashing of opinions. For me though, it will be intriguing and hopefully fun to see how the fandom takes shape after, or should I say After. It'll be like Old Who/New Who! Old TW/New TW!

Other things...

PROGRESS ON STRETCH AND DANG THAT SCANNED NICELY:

I love Teresa Wentzler patterns. It is going slooowwww though because it is lots of thread-changes, each which involves pairing two different colors, there are tons of half-stitches, and it is maddening at times and oh the back is messy. But I love the progress! Returning to cross-stitch has helped me in so many ways. I think, no, I know, that side of my brain was STARVING. It is much happier now.

SUPERNATURAL:
I am about to watch episode 5.16. I am slowing down though, not wanting the ride to end just yet. Dean, oh Dean, you have infiltrated my dreams, and my fic! Yes, my character Lee has, without doubt, come to life for me because of Dean Winchester. I could never truly fall for Lee like I had Gev, and the solution came to me in the form of this glorious man:

I mean, c'mon, look at that. GORGEOUS and that is not even a picture with his eyes of awesome focusing on you. LOL. And yes, I know, I know...I succumbed right along with Nick, which makes

blue_fjords happy. And yes that picture came from her. And actually? I think I can count on one hand the times I've posted a fan pic. Whatever. I'm glad to be watching this series, as I've enjoyed the fire out of it, and it has made my work go by so much faster. Yeah, I can watch shows at work. I know, right? Crazy.

What I 'can't' do, and shouldn't, is play on livejournal...

Um.

This is getting long. See? I don't write a post for ages, then blurt everything out at once. Sorry. This is why no one reads my long posts!

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THAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU.

I love you, bb. AND YOUR PRETTY LITTLE WRITINGS TOO!

Wishing you much creative powah!

I have been madly in love with Jensen Ackles since he was a teenager on DAYS OF OUR LIVES back in the day. ZOMG indeed. And I don't even regularly watch SN. I suppose I should go back and season-watch at some point. Like I don't have enough shows to do that with.

I'm so happy that you're so happy with your writing! This is all great news and I look forward to reading it all!

What was your first fandom? (As an adult; Duran Duran when you were twelve don't count.)

I love Merlin, though I just watch the programmes and don't get involved in the fandom at all. But I just think the two boys work so well together and the adults seem to have great fun with their parts too.

LOL. Savage Garden. It is the only fandom I wrote extensively in. I came in late to the fandom but came in...enthusiastically. LOL!!! Fandoms these days are so much more...I don't know. Scary? LOL. SG is also how Nick and I met.

LOL I was not into DuranDuran! Really!!!

I know! I agree, it is crazy silly fun, just love it. Nick and I enjoy it--he loved of course the episode with Gwaine since they filmed at Caerphilly Castle. Grin.

Well to be fair the guy who plays Merlin is 25 and the other guy is 27, they probably don't like not being called adults. Lol.

I'm totally falling for SPN, hard and fast. I like that it's fresh to me, no obligations there that I'm not meeting. I can't write SPN fic at the moment, because I don't know enough details about contemporary American culture, but right now, I find that this is almost a relief. And I love Dean so much, and Sam, too; but Dean, Dean is so awesome.

I have to change something about the way I deal with HP fandom. It has been too much work and too little fun recently. I still love the universe, I still love Harry, and Draco, and even Harry/Draco. But I need a change to find more joy in there. Maybe the sidelines is where I belong, too. Because I honestly don't have enough time or talent or whatever I lack for a nearer to center position in a fandom corner that has so many writers and changes so fast. I'm simply tired of never being able to keep up with the important fic and fests, and some little bird on my shoulder tells me that fandom should be more fun.

Are Lee and Gev Savage Garden people?

Fandoms are kinda mean spirited these days. You and Nick have been together a while then. Awwww.

Simon LeBon 4evar.

On December 9th, it'll have been 6 years since we met, though we were just friends for...heck we have no idea, really. LOL. This is why we don't have an official anniversary date. It just happened. Like magic!

Yes, the book that is with Loose-Id now, A Red-Tainted Silence, was very loosely based on SG. Lee was the bass player--I got lots of fan mailies asking for his story, but for years, I just wasn't moved to write anything else along that line. Eventually though, something clicked but it was mostly Gev (loosely based on a dancer from So You Think You Can Dance, lol) who stole my heart, and he is a ballet dancer because Nick and I went to see ballet when N was here, and from there the story finally started to take shape. It has been a long road back to writing again.

Edited Date: 2010-11-10 07:24 pm (UTC)

I don't think there is anything wrong with being on the fringes, especially with as busy as your real life is. Nick enjoys being more involved than I do, but I enjoy that he enjoys it, so that works out. LOL! I love that we're into Merlin now and to a lesser extent, SPN...mostly just watching the show and ooing over the guys. Grin.

You ooze talent, wth you saying there? That's not it at all, oh heck no. I think it is just you have alot of demands on you in your professional life, and your chosen sport. I do believe you can have your writing life too--but it sounds like you are snapping the whip at yourself, and it is killing your joy. Don't do that to yourself! Your writing is so lovely, it really is.

For me, I finally figured out that I am happiest writing original fiction. I tried and tried hard to write Torchwood, but I am far happier writing my own stuff (albeit that I am inspired by those characters and shows), and beta'ing my peeps (who write in Merlin, TW, SPN--really, the ones I beta regularly, I could care less what they write, just that they DO. And let me help. LOL). I love beta'ing! I love watching a story unfold under a writer's hand and grow and grow stronger, until it is ready to fly. I'm learning how to be a better, stronger beta too, in the process, esp. as I beta people like Nick and Mander who both have such great grasps on the rules of the English language, far better than me. My choice is right for me, definitely, though there is a part of me that is wistful about not writing fanfic myself. Still, I get enormous joy out of watching my betalings get swarmed with love for their writing. Oh yeah.

What makes YOU happy?

OMG I don't remember Days during that time...I haven't watched it (was with my mom) since Roman and Marlena first got together--THE ORIGINAL ROMAN MIND YOU!!!!

Whenever I feel like I am lagging, I just go hit your journal. :)

He played Eric Brady, son of Roman and Marlena and twin brother of Sami. The twins had basically disappeared, off to boarding school, and suddenly they were teenagers and coming home to attend public school in Salem.

Yes, I'm gay. Why do you ask? *grin*

I kinda knew that already, darling. :) LOL.

So, you use Dean in your fantasies too then. Heh heh.
COME SEE ME! LIKE THIS WEEKEND! WE COULD TOTALLY WRITE!

Jensen says he's only gotten better w/ age:

(http://s245.photobucket.com/albums/gg51/fossoway/?action=view&current=Killing-softly-jensen-ackles-14703169-500-602.jpg)

Though I have to admit I've never watched the soap. I have seen pics, and holy 90s hair, Batman. But, yeah, he was beautiful back then, too.

Blue, meet mah friend Anthony, who is MY Anthony who comes through here to see meeee (okay for work, whatever).

HE IS JUST BEAUTIFUL and inspiring (his face). And his Dean-ness is too, and I am about to hit episode 5.18 which I think you like lots, Blue?

Jensen is so pretty and I tried to watch Supernatural but it scared me. Lots of luck with your original writing.

Oh, he's definitely gotten better with age! haha

Back then, I totally wanted the Eric Brady to come back to Salem and come out ... and I wanted to play his boyfriend. (Hey, I was technically a working actor back then...)

Oh, you shall see why I like 5x18! :)

And I already knew your buddy Anthony had great taste, as he's your buddy, but this just cements it!

LOLOL. I am forcing myself to wait until tomorrow to watch 5.18. Right now, am reading a fic, and then leaving work.

I have not worked hard today.

I looovveee scary (not gore--I am passing on The Walking Dead for instance) and this is perfect-scary but yeah, SCARY! SQUEE! LOL.

Yes, he is lovely and I really do need a proper icon to express that.

Lol. If you'd post more, maybe they'd be shorter. ;)
But then you would be doing the wrong kind of writing.

Good to hear from you! :)

Supernatural owns my soul. But I'm sure you've figured that out already :D

IT OWES MINE TOO!!! I am having to set aside 5.18 for tonight though--need to write, and it is Dark and Sad and... yeah. Tomorrow, I shall watch tomorrow...going to watch something a bit more cheerful. Have this show about Jack the Ripper...

I know! That is a logic I can't escape!

oh, 5.18 isn't half as depressing as 5.19. i think i actually cried watching hammer of the gods.

jack the ripper is more cheerful? in what way?

merlin! supernatural! xoxoxoxo!

One of these days, I am going to use my frequent flyer miles to just randomly show up on your doorstep.

Oh just do it!! Or give me some and I will Explore A City with you. LOLOL.

I would love to do that sometime. Pick a cool city, then just fly there, and explore it. Kind alike Nick does with the UK.

I think sometimes I'm not adventurous enough ...

I would love to get you and Nick to explore some of Scotland with me, though.

SPN is such great fun, and I enjoy that I can simply squee over the guys and the family issues without the feeling that I'm always at the verge of saying something wrong. I haven't been happy with H/D lately, and it's not so much the pairing but rather the feeling that people will read only a very limited variation (fluff and porn) and that it's a waste of time to try and write what I like because no one bothers. Which is kind of too harsh a judgment, I know.

Thank you for putting it into perspective - that's something so much better done from the outside. And thank you for telling me that I can do it and that it's worth doing it. I'm very good at self-whipping, and you are so right: it kills the joy. I shouldn't compare so much to what others do, but focus on what is good for me. *nods*

I want to write both, original and fanfiction. I think I'm still a little scared to get so deeply invested in an original character, because I don't know if I can make the time. I simply love to write, to get under the skin of a character and get to know them so intimately. And I love the editing process, too. It's what makes me the happiest person on earth. Beta-reading is close behind, if the person I'm working with is my kind of writer - meaning they work hard and are in it for the process and the exchange.

Part of what I like about fanfiction is that I can play with characters I already know. But that's also part of the pressure, because people will only read what fits with their view of the characters. I'm a little afraid of the world-building on original fiction. I'm best with characterisation and the psychological aspects of the plot.

What makes me happy? That's a good question. Writing and learning and talking about writing - more than anything else. I should probably cut my f-list and focus on that, instead of wishing I could participate more in all the fandom activities that are around. Because if I do that, I can't write any more, and then I become unhappy.

And of course, those last months have been extremely crazy with the whole flat thing - so there is a light at the end of the tunnel, once the move is over some time around May next year. And I will find calmer times in between - have two weeks of rest planned for the end of the year. And I have to see the long term perspective, too.

Yes, I guess that most of my unhappiness is simply the result of not being able to write because of everything else.

&hearts

In that first paragraph--people reading only certain pairings? Now that I've poked my nose into several fandoms, I totally see that that is true of most fandoms. Torchwood it was Jack and Ianto (so when they killed off Ianto, OMG the freakouts that STILL continue...), Merlin it is Arthur/Merlin (though Gwain's hotness made a lot of people Ooo and there is a lot of Merlin/Gwain and all three, but A/M are the main). And Supernatural the Wincest which meh, not my cup of tea, as it wasn't with the HP twins, but yeah. LOL!! I like Dean/Cas, and I do like threesomes but relationshippy ones, not sex ones. LOL!!

I am really intrigued by this statement: I think I'm still a little scared to get so deeply invested in an original character, because I don't know if I can make the time.

Let us talk about those fears. I fully believe that deep investment is what makes original characters rock--I had a REAL hard time with Lee, one of my two MC's in my current ms--it wasn't until I clicked with him that he began to work for me. Took half the manuscript! But once I did, it has been a love-affair ever since. Gev always was. The one thing this does do--and perhaps this is what you mean?--when I reach this stage with my characters, that's when the words fly but I also cannot deal with anything else outside that world. I know plenty of people who can work on multiple things--original and fan fiction, or several differnt project--but I know that I can't, or i lose tht fiery connection. That limits me to writing Only these characters, and that is sad I suppose. Is this what you fear, that if you invest deeply in your original characters you will put aside everything else, and you don't want to do that? I am curious at the interesting choice of words there.

Re: being unhappy that you can't write--you gotta feed that need. I know from experience, very sad experience, that continually denying that dragon will eventually make it give up and go away. THat's when all the doubt comes in, the 'it doesn't matter anyway' beliefs. And that is a shame, because then the world is denied what only you can offer. I cry silently that I plunged into that mire but rejoice that I am finally out of it. I know now what will send me back, and like Dean, I don't want to go back to that hell.

May is so far away! But i guess it will take that much time to..do what? I know things rock different there, but I am curious.

when the words fly but I also cannot deal with anything else outside that world.

That's exactly what I meant. I've been living for months in Lucius Malfoy's head. Lol. And I'm afraid that it will be only more extreme when writing my own characters, because the effort of creation will be larger and therefore the backlash of being sucked in will be larger, too.

And I fear that I not only can't write anything else during that time, but also that I need a fairly stable job environment for it. Those last months, all my creativity went into re-inventing my job - and I don't complain, it was high time to do it and I feel good about it. But I know that all I can write these days are very short stories, a drabble or a poem here and there. And it's not enough in the long run to sustain me in that need to write.

So I thought that I would kick-start the new job development, and then, when it's in the phase of consolidating, I would go back to more extreme writing, like when I wrote the H/D murder mystery last year or Footsteps this spring.

But to be truly able to run the new job development and writing in earnest, I also felt that I needed a change in my living conditions. My flat is good, but it has reached the capacity of what I can do without wasting too much time on shoving stuff from here to there so that I can work properly. Hence the flat hunt.

Now, for this flat ... The smaller flat will be easier to buy - we just have to set up the contract, check and sign it. That could be done in December. After that, it will be still (in the best case, if the former owner terminates the contract before December the third) another two months until the current tenant moves out. He is warned and already looking, but no official termination has taken place. If I have to terminate his contract myself, I can only do that after the flat is officially mine. Meaning not the pay date, but the date of official registration. Which might take one or two months after the deal is closed, especially with Christmas around, when no one really works.

For the larger flat, the sisters need a court permission that they can do the deal by proxy for their mum. Because mum can't sign the contract any longer. Since there have been enough cases where children tried to cheat on their elderly parents, we have a new law that demands that the court has to name a representative for the mum who will act in her best interest. That might take a month or two.

So it will be March when I can start renovating the smaller flat, and I promised the pregnant sister that she could live in her flat until end of April, with the option that I get her kitchen and bathroom equipment, which is in good condition. And we can also already start fusing both flats, meaning to break in a wall and build in a door. I'm so glad that my dad will help me with all of the practical stuff!

And before all that chaos breaks lose, I have to plan my new course for my students, which will hopefully take off and start by the end of March, too.

What a whirlwind, eh? Oh, and yes, Germany loves rules and regulations. *headdesk*

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Don't tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass. ~

C is off rambling again: Fandoms, Writing, Nick, X-Stitch etc.

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