Carolyn

And, I've been doing writerly things, and a lot of work things, and there has been ice, and I must go be a zombie now (truth!) but really, I really really want to write a real post.

Really.

Was iced in the house for several days. SO much fun. LOVED IT.

So did my dogs. :)










and lastly, the little Prince

Power thoughts from all please? Yes? I'll be in a phone hearing re: my unemployment benefits with That Rat Bastard who fired me. I feel confident because I know they don't have a case, but I also know that That Rat Bastard has embellished the truth. He has no real proof though that I said certain things, and the first hearing already went in my favor, so those are pluses.

Still, having to deal with this makes me freaking angry, you know? I want this settled, I want to get on with things, I kinda even want a job soon...and I want to get back to school.

NEWS THERE--I got my letter of acceptance yesterday! So I am officially a student again at UT-Arlington, to start Fall 2011. Oh whee! After Monday--everything is after Monday--I will call and get a time set up to go in and figure out what I need to take. MATHS I need a MATHS class--be prepared for me to collapse and flail! I will not take it first. I'll take it...later. Yeah. Later...

Been reading lots today about that certain NY Times article regarding epic fantasy, Game of Thrones--hello, which I adored, and last I looked I was female--and it really really makes me wonder what the heck I am getting into, pursuing this genre. I actually don't know if my fantasy would be considered 'epic' -- perhaps, perhaps just traditional fantasy, I don't know. I want to get more involved with the genre's peeps--all that 'building the name' stuff--but it is kinda hard to know how to go about it, and yeah, considering my writing 'epic fantasy' and given the realities of the epic fantasy world...it is no wonder I prefer to hang out with my writing group, who are paranormal romance and urban fantasy writers for the most part. They love me regardless of what I write. Smile. I feel safe in their circle!

At this point, just writing the damn book(s) is probably the first line of order, and what I am concentrating on. You should see my OneNote. How did I live without OneNote, I ask you? It has made organizing a breeze. Have put so so so SO much work into it so far and still haven't written a thing of actual story. Good work though, working on it some almost every day. Except for this week as I have been mental a bit, fretting about Monday... Yeah. But after Monday, I should, no WILL be getting back to it. I am almost, almost ready to start hammering out the outline--I certainly know my characters better than I ever thought I would. So that at least is good. Yes.

If not epic, what are fantasy authors like Elizabeth Hayden, Melanie Rawn, Mercedes Lackey considered? Not epic fantasy? Then...what? Am currently reading Hayden's RHAPSODY... it is right up my alley. I like it. I want to be like Haydon. LOL. But moreso, Jacqueline Carey--I have a new one of hers to read, whee! I consider her historical fantasy--sorta. But not really. More... stretched-historical fantasy...but I love her Kushiel books. Some more than others, sure, but mostly yes.

As far as fandom fun goes--been having a blast every weekend helping Nick out with the timed writings group for paperpushers. I am beta'ing two more peoples now for the big bang--yay!--and love both their stories and am excited to see how they progress. Also of course Nick, who is making great progress, and Jenny, who is not yet, but will. Soon. :) I love beta'ing good writers! They make ME a better writer, too. Love that! Plus I just like to see others figure out how to make themselves shine.

Anything else? Not really...finally got 90% of the money owed me by former work, and still no news yet from Loose-Id, but I do have my Carolyn Gray website all fixed up and am happy with that. Even taking a stab at actively twittering as her but it is weird... Twitter is another place I prefer my safe, cozy group of people who I know, each and every one. Quirky me, yeah.

So, wish me luck, thanks, really do appreciate it--and hopefully by 2:00 central it will be all over with and I can just relax and and and and...write. :)

There is one up-side about being unemployed when one is truly a writer at heart--all this extra time to write. I've been making the most of it when not looking for a job, or going to the unemployment resource center, or, as has been the case the last couple of days, totally freaking out I don't have a job yet and it has been 3 months already zomg zomg. Most of the time I can keep my spirits up, but sometimes it smacks me. The optimism sinks, I get blue, and I just want to curl up in my bed and pull my blankie over my head. I wallow for a bit but something clicks again, and I get my good attitude back again. Today I made myself go to Starbucks and sure enough, things seemed much more hopeful again. I do love my Starbucks (especially when my kid is working--freebies for Mom!).

Thanks to helping Nick with the Merlin Big Bang paperpushers timed writings (WORD WARS!) every weekend, I've already hit 23k so far with Splash Page. I love love love word wars! My competitive nature kicks in, though, so I have to chill. I am a fast writer when I actually am ready to write, but I pay the price with my achy arms later, and also with having to go back over everything. Not complaining though--I love rewriting. ;) Also, another bonus comes with doing these--meeting new peoples! I love new peoples. (Hello those new peoples who have joined my flistees!)

I only work on SP on the weekends though. Weekdays, in-between all the other stuff, it's the fantasy. Things are starting to come together there. So far, I've got the Antagonist, two of the Protagonists, the Main Minion figured out, a ton of worldbuilding stuff, all of which has forced me to figure out aspects of the story I hadn't thought I needed to. Or would eventually get to but didn't need to now. This Warrior Writer method is lots of fun and suits me as a plotmeister, but I'm started to get antsy. I want to finish all this preliminary work and just get writing.

Ballet Boy still doesn't have a title I like much. I don't know what the problem is, but settling on something has been super-hard. Last week I turned in a detailed synopsis, logline, etc., and getting through all that stuff about killed me. LOL. Writing a synopsis after finishing the book just was SO much fun (snark). Got it done though (with much whining on twitter). Now it has all gone to The Big Decider, and hopefully hopefully hopefully I'll get word soon that it is a go.

And of course then I will start freaking out that it needs more work, isn't good enough, sucks royally and will get horrid reviews (as compared to the first). Meep. My editor loved it though, so here's hoping...

Going to try to convince myself to get some sleep now. Am TRYING to sleep regular hours, but have found those damn blues mess with my brain and sometimes I can't get to sleep, or stay asleep, and then morning comes and I get smacked with the no-job thing, and I want to just hide under that blankie some more... Now that my tree outside has leaves, I am going to try and sleep with my curtains open a little bit. See if waking up to sunshine instead of a dark room helps. Guess I'll see in the morning, yeah? Tomorrow is writer's group though (aka #writersnightout, Thursday being #writersdatenight, and yeah we are silly) so I'm planning now to have a good day tomorrow, dammit, or else. Pretending to be a full-time writer usually works and at least on Tuesdays and Thursdays, I manage to pull it off pretty darn well.

Oh! And I forgot, Saturday is going to be wonderful--I have a ticket to go see PARKED, staring Colin Morgan, yo, and Colm Meaney, who I also have always adored. A day in Dallas will be fun, and I hope to see lindalee afterward for something delicious and awesome and healthy because like me, she's into that sort of thing. LOL. Need to arrange that. What will be a huge challenge for me will be understanding Colin Morgan, as he makes no effort to change his accent. He definitely won't sound like Merlin for this one! (I could possibly also see it Sunday if I feel the urge). Here's hoping my ears tune quickly to his accent. LOL.

Every day, I think I should sit down and jot down a quick post of what is going on in my life. I have been very bad about doing that, and not because I am too busy--it is just a pain to get that which is in my head down onto the printed page. So, I decided to take a chapter from madwriter and make up a posting format where I can easily plug in what is going on. Surely, surely, that will help me update more often? So, here we go:

State of the Work Thing

Did not get the job I interviewed for last week, but primary reason I didn't appears to be because the attorney snapped up an applicant he knew already. So that was that. But, had super-awesome long talk with Renita, the Law, Snakard personnel director, and she adores me and wants me to work there and would I be interested in another position there? Uh, yes? She has two possible situations coming up, and asked that if I didn't hear from her within a couple of weeks to touch base. Also, she said she would poke around with her network, though "I don't want to lose you to anyone else." Also learned that salaries are quite a bit higher these days than they were way-back-when. Um, lots more than I was making at B&W... so yeah, a legal gig? Might not be a bad thing.

State of the Unemployment

Waiting on the decision. Had the telephone interview regarding my side of things; no one from B&W showed up. Old boss Chris hmmmm'd at that, and believes that B&W made alot (A LOT, STUPID FINGERS) of mistakes--especially with giving no warnings, etc. We'll see. I hope I get it but if not, my dad is being very supportive. And, my ESOP monies should be here very soon.

State of the House

One would think being home so much, my house would be spotless. But being unemployed does not turn me into a supreme housekeeper, apparently.

State of Writing, Part 1

I sent in my manuscript the first part of January, and have not heard from my editor yet, so I dropped her a line last night. I really hope to hear soon, dangitall!

State of Writing, Part 2

Next Loose-Id story: I *was* going to do MS Idea #1 first, but have pushed it back, and will be doing MS Idea #2, which is taking a character from the ms I am waiting to hear on, and giving him his own story. He is about as down and out as a character can be--starting literally from nothing. I ache to write him in first person, but my editor... Oh man. So, I may just write him in limited third, which I have not done before. I'll start hashing out the plot on that puppy probably tomorrow. Don't have to do much before I get started writing.

State of Writing Part 3

This is the big one, full blown historical fantasy, actually a serious rehaul of my fantasy I've worked on off and on for ten years or so. Until now, I have not had the wherewithall to pull off doing this...I just wasn't ready, it wasn't the right time, I had no brain, whatever. But now I have the support I need to make it work (and the maturity? I don't know...). In any case, I have found the guidance I need to tackle this and shape up what I have to make it work with my new vision. It'll be a huge undertaking, but I've already made more progress with the planning stage than I ever thought possible. It is AWESOME. I may write more about that later, as it is a different approach than I've seen before, while not really being that different. It is just ORGANIZED.

State of Writing Part 4

I am signing up for paperlegends. I know, I know, crazy chick...but I have this idea I want to explore, and that will be a fun way to do it. Even if no one reads it, that's fine. I am used to not being read by people. If I can make what I want to do work, I do fully intend on blowing it up into a ms for Loose-Id. I have just never written scary before... LOL! Will take a stab.

State of Health

I have set a goal to lose 15 lbs, and to help with that starting tomorrow I am going back on my Diet of Fierceness. I have also joined the YMCA, though my left knee has been angry at me for awhile. It is much better the last few days though so I am going to start going to the YMCA again starting tomorrow. Trying to get a regular schedule set for going--I actually always preferred evenings, so think I will go back to that.

State of Everything Else

All is well everywhere else. I am keeping busy, though I think a more set routine is in order. I try not to think about the scary side of being unemployed, or the cold hard fact that I don't have a ticket to the UK to go see Nick in my hand--that really slays me tons, it has been a full year now! Okay, that is too damn long. Dammit. I am antsy to get out of here and DO something, SEE things, EXPLORE and and and and... yeah. Sigh.

And that is about it. Future entries will (or should) be more specifically geared toward parts of the above. I need to get back into the habit of ljing regularly, and also? I need to start working on pumping up both Carolyn Gray and myself, too, and blogging regularly under www.carolyngraybooks.com and www.carolynrogers.wordpress.com (I am in the process of trying to get www.carolynrogers.com--the person who utilized it before no longer seems to be doing so, so I'm going after them using GoDaddy's service for that. I WANT MY NAME DAMMIT!) I also, sigh, should be having an open twitter under carolynrogers and carolyngray but OMG... Well, more on social media and name-branding later. It is all new to me, but my crit group leader is a huge banana in the field, a strong advocate for name-branding. Eek, she wants me to get a FACEBOOK! NoooOoooooOOOooooOOOOooooOOOOoooooO!!!!!

And one last thing:

State of the Puppies

Lazy, as usual. :)

Guess I've been busy, as I haven't posted once since October 1st. Shame on me! So, what's been going on? Not much other than trying to recover from the horrible experience of my boss, my beloved boss of the last decade, getting fired(!!!) and how that has changed everything I feel about this job. A huge, huge disappointment. Huge. HUGE.

Am listening to podfic alot lately...right now am listening to an amazingly marvelous one called Student Prince (a Merlin AU). It is so well-written and imaginative, I am just simply thoroughly enjoying the fire out of it. Been reading a bit of Merlin fanfic too and beta'ing it... OMG which reminds me, like Toy Story? Merlin? then dash straight away to misswinterhill's lj and read her take on a Merlinized Toy Story world. Absolutely LOVE this story to bitty bits! It is adorable, touching, made me cry darn it...and showcases why I love Jenny's writing so much. I should move this paragraph to the top. There. Much better.

Other things...getting ready for Nano, beta'ing fics for Nick, Jenny and Blue, reading more (current read is The Iron Duke and yes it is romance, gasp, but it is also damn clever steampunk which is why I am reading it). I cleaned out my books and have a stack of 19 books over there I must read before I can buy anything else, which means I have to avoid going to the bookstore on Friday nights after writer's group because my dear friends are always trying to make me buy yet another book. They all read at ten times the speed of light. I swear I have never seen such voracious readers! I'm on page 233 of 378 and that has taken me a week. Oh well, at least I am savoring it and enjoying it longer this way, right?

Nano is going to be a blast. I'll be participating lots more this year because I actually know people now and won't find it as easy to talk myself out of going to things. I've got two projects for Nano: finish the ms I'm working on now (have about 30k to go) and start the next one which will be my "Project for 2011" project (fantasy, full-on, man). I will also be starting another loose-id book...I have the idea loosely-formed in my head. It will be fun, I think. With aliens! LOL. I think. Yeah.

Other things...if anyone has a secret for convincing a body to BUDGE past a certain weight, lay it on me. I am so firmly thoroughly ridiculously stuck at this weight and want just 10 lbs. more to GO AWAY NAO but it WON'T. We have a gorgeous track at work and now that it is cooler I'm going to start hitting that after work. That may be all I need as I don't know how I can possibly eat any healthier. But talk about infuriating--grr. LOL.

Hmmm... guess that is it for now. Reading, writing, nanoing, podficcing, beta'ing, working, dieting, any other -ings? Worrying! Daughter graduates in May and is intent on heading out of here and hopefully working for Teachers for America for two years, somewhere in Anywhere USA. She really wants to go to San Francisco, or the East Coast, 'anywhere but Topeka!' lol. I vote for Nashville as I am smitten by that city, but we'll see. Sigh...not sure I am ready for this, but this is what life is all about, right? Doesn't mean I have to like it...

Being in a really fun and fabulous writing group that inspires, encourages, and leaves one energized and excited.

Just sayin'.

C, the Happy Camper :)

1. Play with Maddox. This is not an odd thing to list, as these last couple of weeks it has been near-impossible to throw the ball for him. He is so sad about this he has eaten his throw-ball. He'd already eaten his good ones. I need to order him a new one, but not spending money right now.



2. Read. I am reading The Day of the Triffids by John Wyndham. This is all misswinterhill's fault after our recent discussion re: atomic-era sci fi movies. I loved those things when I was a kid! She told me "that movie sucks but the book is awesome!" So, I had to get it. It was published originally in 1951, but so many things Wyndham explores are spot-on for today also. It's dated, and yet...it isn't.

I'm reading it on my beloved new itouch my sister bought for me. I love love love my little new toy! I know alot of people who scoff at ebook readers, they'd rather have the feel and smell of a real book, but reading books on my itouch is brilliant. Small, always-ready, can read in the dark, curled up and snuggled into blankets, and just a tap shuts it down. Open it next time and it goes right to where I left off. I am sold. SO much easier to deal with than either a Nook or a Kindle.



3. Begin my dark_fest fic. The goal for this fic is between 5-10k. I have a rough idea what I want to do, but want to get it started this weekend.

4. Begin my reel_torchwood fic. This one will be long and windy.

5. Clean house. Daughter is gone for the weekend. This is SWEET. I plan to dump her crap in her room, do the floors, dust and clean and just get this house back up to snuff.

6. Clean out my car. It needs it.

7. Attend the writer's group thing tomorrow at 1:00 at Border's on Hulen.

8. Figure out what the hell to work on for writer's group thing tomorrow (not fanfic there, nope).

Maybe the two should be switched?

My computer is running hot and I have no idea why. Going to shut it down for a bit. So weird!