Reading the Times Past

[paragraphs]

Like a lot of you guys I am in the process of saying goodbye to LJ. I've found myself curiously sad, depressed even, as I've been reading through old posts. Not from my paragraphs account, but from my previous one that I still have tucked away, deep in LJ. I'll be deleting that one.

I miss the days gone by. I miss the confident silliness I had, being in the throes of my new life, when the kids were still home, when my relationship with N was so new and shiny (we are still, even more so, great friends, but not in the same way which is good, very good, and what needed to be - but still, sigh....), when fandoms were fun, and I was traveling every chance I got to the UK and to Germany (and Canada once! and here!) with N. A lot of living crammed into a decade. How I miss those days!! That's why I want to keep everything in that old LJ - so I can trot it out every few years, and remember the amazing fun and crazy times.

Nostalgia. It makes me happy and also very blue (and I can't even write the word "blue" without being sad, because of my friend with that nickname who passed away way way way too young - we met on lj, and she visited me once. How I miss her too!).

Going to be 55 next birthday. Job is great - house is good (got my roof fixed after a year of fighting for it), about to go to Seattle for a week, and I am going back to Sirens in October - I've made some great new friends from that! But I keep thinking... what is next?

WHAT IS NEXT???

I really don't know. The kids both have SOs, pets of their own, good jobs, and are doing great. My dogs are getting older and I've recently gone bettafish crazy. But I keep thinking... what is next?

I just really don't know. Right now, I just want to get out of here, go to Seattle, have fun with my friend, go to Norwescon and I hope there I will come back supercharged, but a lot of the times I kinda feel like I wasted too much time.

Finally found a Dreamwidth style that I like. At least that is something. Yeah?

What is next, C?

(please if you see this and are on dreamwidth, come be my friend there... would love that).

Comments

[used_songs]

I'm not a very nostalgic person, but even I'm a little sad about finally letting go of LJ. I know what you mean about fandom - I haven't let myself love a show or a fandom as much after Torchwood. I still do fan stuff, but it's different.

What's next? Who knows, right? When I was little I thought adults knew what they were doing; it turns out that we don't!

[annofowlshire]

Enjoy Seattle and Norwescon! Makes me a little homesick....

I look forward to hearing what is next. It sounds like you've done a lot of great things already, so it will be spectacular ^_^

[theemdash]

It's so hard to let go of LJ because it means admitting that it's over and that "the good 'ol days" will never come back. It's about admitting something is gone, even though it's been gone for years. That's hard!

You're not the only person who has mentioned something like "confident silliness" being something that they've lost. Looking back at old journal entries, I see someone who was much more confident about being silly and about posting anything. But I don't think it's something that's gone (the way Old LJ is gone, I mean). WE CAN RECLAIM OUR SILLINESS! Honestly, I hope people do. It's hard to take ourselves so seriously all the time.

What is next, C? That's something we all sometimes need to figure out.

[queenoftheskies.livejournal.com]

::HUGS::

Reminiscing can have those effects on us, can't they?

I'm sure there are good things next. Many good things.

I already have you friended there. :)

I hope we'll build a good writing community there.

[sartorias.livejournal.com]

Good things will come!

[pir8fancier.livejournal.com]

I think that partly what keeps our brains perking, the search. Keep searching because the search always opens your mind to new things and new people. It's when you STOP searching that I think there is a problem.

[stargazer60.livejournal.com]

I don't use LJ like I used to. I have a Dreamwidth...but moving 12 years worth of entries? I wonder how long that would take.

Still....I'd rather not lose all that history.