Reading the Times Past

[paragraphs]

Like a lot of you guys I am in the process of saying goodbye to LJ. I've found myself curiously sad, depressed even, as I've been reading through old posts. Not from my paragraphs account, but from my previous one that I still have tucked away, deep in LJ. I'll be deleting that one.

I miss the days gone by. I miss the confident silliness I had, being in the throes of my new life, when the kids were still home, when my relationship with N was so new and shiny (we are still, even more so, great friends, but not in the same way which is good, very good, and what needed to be - but still, sigh....), when fandoms were fun, and I was traveling every chance I got to the UK and to Germany (and Canada once! and here!) with N. A lot of living crammed into a decade. How I miss those days!! That's why I want to keep everything in that old LJ - so I can trot it out every few years, and remember the amazing fun and crazy times.

Nostalgia. It makes me happy and also very blue (and I can't even write the word "blue" without being sad, because of my friend with that nickname who passed away way way way too young - we met on lj, and she visited me once. How I miss her too!).

Going to be 55 next birthday. Job is great - house is good (got my roof fixed after a year of fighting for it), about to go to Seattle for a week, and I am going back to Sirens in October - I've made some great new friends from that! But I keep thinking... what is next?

WHAT IS NEXT???

I really don't know. The kids both have SOs, pets of their own, good jobs, and are doing great. My dogs are getting older and I've recently gone bettafish crazy. But I keep thinking... what is next?

I just really don't know. Right now, I just want to get out of here, go to Seattle, have fun with my friend, go to Norwescon and I hope there I will come back supercharged, but a lot of the times I kinda feel like I wasted too much time.

Finally found a Dreamwidth style that I like. At least that is something. Yeah?

What is next, C?

(please if you see this and are on dreamwidth, come be my friend there... would love that).

Comments

[paragraphs.livejournal.com]

I hope so - I know Norwescon will perk me up - just getting away will! I also am a definite for Sirens again - I just HAVE to go. NEEEEEEEEED. LOL. Will you be going this year?

I know next project likely will answer a call I got at last year's Sirens to write a book with an older protagonist. I'm toying with ideas now.

[sartorias.livejournal.com]

Alas, since my stroke I don't dare that altitude any more. I had enough trouble with it before!

[paragraphs.livejournal.com]

Oh my gosh I am sincerely worried about the altitude, since they moved it back to Vail, but am going anyway. It has been decades since I've been to the mountains proper.