Reading the Times Past

[paragraphs]

Like a lot of you guys I am in the process of saying goodbye to LJ. I've found myself curiously sad, depressed even, as I've been reading through old posts. Not from my paragraphs account, but from my previous one that I still have tucked away, deep in LJ. I'll be deleting that one.

I miss the days gone by. I miss the confident silliness I had, being in the throes of my new life, when the kids were still home, when my relationship with N was so new and shiny (we are still, even more so, great friends, but not in the same way which is good, very good, and what needed to be - but still, sigh....), when fandoms were fun, and I was traveling every chance I got to the UK and to Germany (and Canada once! and here!) with N. A lot of living crammed into a decade. How I miss those days!! That's why I want to keep everything in that old LJ - so I can trot it out every few years, and remember the amazing fun and crazy times.

Nostalgia. It makes me happy and also very blue (and I can't even write the word "blue" without being sad, because of my friend with that nickname who passed away way way way too young - we met on lj, and she visited me once. How I miss her too!).

Going to be 55 next birthday. Job is great - house is good (got my roof fixed after a year of fighting for it), about to go to Seattle for a week, and I am going back to Sirens in October - I've made some great new friends from that! But I keep thinking... what is next?

WHAT IS NEXT???

I really don't know. The kids both have SOs, pets of their own, good jobs, and are doing great. My dogs are getting older and I've recently gone bettafish crazy. But I keep thinking... what is next?

I just really don't know. Right now, I just want to get out of here, go to Seattle, have fun with my friend, go to Norwescon and I hope there I will come back supercharged, but a lot of the times I kinda feel like I wasted too much time.

Finally found a Dreamwidth style that I like. At least that is something. Yeah?

What is next, C?

(please if you see this and are on dreamwidth, come be my friend there... would love that).

Comments

[theemdash]

I have friends from IRC and a fandom listserv I was on about 20 years ago. It's so easy to retain internet friends because so many of us wind up on the same services (and we never really leave the internet—a person I knew from a freaking Prodigy bulletin board is a FB friend). And if you retain one friend, so and so will know where so and so went or what name they're using now, etc. But things change about the community, or its location shifts, or just... life! I'd love to see interactions come back to the journal format, though. I think it's so much more intimate than any of the other options out there.

Trust me, you are so silly.

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LOL I too have Prodigy friends still! Somehow we refound each other - were a pretty big group from one of the writing boards. Our youngest member was in his 20's and now just turned 40... egads! I have no one from AOL though - that just wasn't the same. Prodigy is where I was in my very first fandom, Star Trek, but we wrote original characters, so it was also where I first started to write. Golly gee whiz.

I kicked myself off FB for the weekend - I have a LOT of work to get done before my trip to Seattle and Norwescon. I so hope to have the time of my life there... LOL!