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As some of you know (because I whined to you about it in email or on twitter) I have been sick with a beastly super-cold since about Thursday. Probably started Wednesday as I was feeling rather icky by then. I swear, I have not had such a bad and painful and miserable mega-cold as this in my life. It was not the flu, and I thank the moon and stars for that as I seriously am not sure how I would've handled tossing my cookies as well as all the other.
So miserable. Being alone and being sick is really hard--my son was home, but I made him stay away, but oh how I wished for someone to be here to bring me cups of tea and water, to give me my meds, to watch over me while I slept. I slept alot. Nick does pretty damn well in that department despite being far away, but nothing beats having someone right there, and to go to the store for you for more meds. (I had to get out twice, and son went once for me--when I went out I tried to stay away from people and told the clerks to use sanitizer after I went through. all they had to do was look at my face to see I was sick sick sick).
I tried everything--from Sudafed to pain killers to Mucinex DM to Nyquil and Dayquil--actually, all of those minus the Sudafed I think finally got me out of total misery. Damn, that was miserable. I cried so much Saturday! Constant eye leakage. I am a tough girl at heart, honestly, but that was all just too much. Even got a little scared at one point, I felt so bad, like it would never start turning around again and get better. Fortunately last night I could feel a shift, sense that I was at, then beyond, the worst point and was starting to be a little less sick. It has still taken until tonight to really feel like I might survive though.
I didn't feel up to doing anything all weekend and Friday except sleeping and watching movies. I watched some really somber things (The Stoning of Soraya M--omg, so well done but horrific--Precious, which I had seen part of on the plane home from the UK but thought was too brutal to subject the person next to me to, Notting Hill--a much lighter note!--several episodes of White Collar w/Nick, the last of Battlestar Galactica which I will miss terribly, the new Doctor Who episode which I loved though I cried buckets, several Doctor Who's from Series Four). I read a little but mostly was either asleep or watching, or dozing in and out, petting the dogs who stayed glued to me. Huskies are crazy dogs but they are also very attuned to how I feel. I got lots of kissies. Good doggies.
Whine much? Okay yeah, I am whining like crazy. I'll stop now.
The one good thing about laying around so much was I got a lot of mental work done on my fantasy plot--and a gameplan on how to finish it. I've had to strip a heck of a lot out of it, but what was so fuzzy years ago is now so clear... I am excited about that. Whee! The earliest notes I have on it were from approximately 9.5 years ago. I tossed the new first chapter (was chapter four) at my Thursday-night peeps and they loved it, and I decided to actually believe them, that I am on the right track. Sad that my first reaction is to not believe them, but given what I dealt with in the past with this fic and those who were supposedly my crit partners... Oh yeah. Bad days, those, which made me swear off standard crit groups forever. Anyway. There are issues of course as I fumble around with my wee bit of fantasy knowledge, but with their help I think I'll make it work.
I'll talk more about writing fantasy over the coming days, I think. Heck why not. I am a total novice, but it fun to explore that anyway. I was going to do that with mystery but oops...LOL!
I'll be taking this one with me to Armadillocon in the fall, and tossing it into the fire for the workshop. The good thing about doing this is...I have no fear with this story. I know it and all the characters so well it is ridiculous...I feel guilty now for ignoring them for so long. Not that I haven't revisited them over the years as I have, but I just didn't have the vision and ability to see the story clearly, and what I needed to do. I do now, and am managing to get it down into workable form at last. Cutting back the number of POV's was the first step, and realizing where the story really was also helped.
I just wish I had started to feel better earlier than oh about three hours ago, better enough to actually do something concrete. Got to go to bed now though--must try to at least work a half-day tomorrow, in the morning. I may very well come home before 2 though, and get some sleep. This thing has really taken its toll on me, dagnabit. :*(
Shelby is beside me again after a bad coughing fit I just had. I love this dog! Can't believe I came so close to giving up on her, so many times. That would've been the biggest mistake in my life.
So miserable. Being alone and being sick is really hard--my son was home, but I made him stay away, but oh how I wished for someone to be here to bring me cups of tea and water, to give me my meds, to watch over me while I slept. I slept alot. Nick does pretty damn well in that department despite being far away, but nothing beats having someone right there, and to go to the store for you for more meds. (I had to get out twice, and son went once for me--when I went out I tried to stay away from people and told the clerks to use sanitizer after I went through. all they had to do was look at my face to see I was sick sick sick).
I tried everything--from Sudafed to pain killers to Mucinex DM to Nyquil and Dayquil--actually, all of those minus the Sudafed I think finally got me out of total misery. Damn, that was miserable. I cried so much Saturday! Constant eye leakage. I am a tough girl at heart, honestly, but that was all just too much. Even got a little scared at one point, I felt so bad, like it would never start turning around again and get better. Fortunately last night I could feel a shift, sense that I was at, then beyond, the worst point and was starting to be a little less sick. It has still taken until tonight to really feel like I might survive though.
I didn't feel up to doing anything all weekend and Friday except sleeping and watching movies. I watched some really somber things (The Stoning of Soraya M--omg, so well done but horrific--Precious, which I had seen part of on the plane home from the UK but thought was too brutal to subject the person next to me to, Notting Hill--a much lighter note!--several episodes of White Collar w/Nick, the last of Battlestar Galactica which I will miss terribly, the new Doctor Who episode which I loved though I cried buckets, several Doctor Who's from Series Four). I read a little but mostly was either asleep or watching, or dozing in and out, petting the dogs who stayed glued to me. Huskies are crazy dogs but they are also very attuned to how I feel. I got lots of kissies. Good doggies.
Whine much? Okay yeah, I am whining like crazy. I'll stop now.
The one good thing about laying around so much was I got a lot of mental work done on my fantasy plot--and a gameplan on how to finish it. I've had to strip a heck of a lot out of it, but what was so fuzzy years ago is now so clear... I am excited about that. Whee! The earliest notes I have on it were from approximately 9.5 years ago. I tossed the new first chapter (was chapter four) at my Thursday-night peeps and they loved it, and I decided to actually believe them, that I am on the right track. Sad that my first reaction is to not believe them, but given what I dealt with in the past with this fic and those who were supposedly my crit partners... Oh yeah. Bad days, those, which made me swear off standard crit groups forever. Anyway. There are issues of course as I fumble around with my wee bit of fantasy knowledge, but with their help I think I'll make it work.
I'll talk more about writing fantasy over the coming days, I think. Heck why not. I am a total novice, but it fun to explore that anyway. I was going to do that with mystery but oops...LOL!
I'll be taking this one with me to Armadillocon in the fall, and tossing it into the fire for the workshop. The good thing about doing this is...I have no fear with this story. I know it and all the characters so well it is ridiculous...I feel guilty now for ignoring them for so long. Not that I haven't revisited them over the years as I have, but I just didn't have the vision and ability to see the story clearly, and what I needed to do. I do now, and am managing to get it down into workable form at last. Cutting back the number of POV's was the first step, and realizing where the story really was also helped.
I just wish I had started to feel better earlier than oh about three hours ago, better enough to actually do something concrete. Got to go to bed now though--must try to at least work a half-day tomorrow, in the morning. I may very well come home before 2 though, and get some sleep. This thing has really taken its toll on me, dagnabit. :*(
Shelby is beside me again after a bad coughing fit I just had. I love this dog! Can't believe I came so close to giving up on her, so many times. That would've been the biggest mistake in my life.
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Date: 2010-06-07 07:34 am (UTC)I'm glad you had the dogs for company. Animals do seem to know when you need support, don't they?