Will I Ever Write a Decent Post Again?

[paragraphs]

I was commenting on another person's lj and I realized that I rarely say anything of importance or interest on this lj anymore. The reasons are varied--probably the biggest is how badly I was burned by Those People. But also, I just don't want to. Or need to. That is, need to.

It is not that I don't have brilliant thoughts worthy of sharing. Of course I do. (and yes I am grinning) But I seem to usually end up sharing them with N, pouring them into my writing at Seaside, or just keeping them to myself. I am going through a process currently--working through some writerly things, quietly researching and gathering information and reading and taking notes, and doing loads of thinking, contemplating, discussing things inside my head. This project is precious to me, a gathering of all that went before into a new format with a new life, and I don't want to fuck this one up as I have everything else. My track record is not very admirable, you know, despite a couple of sales. So, I simply find myself not wanting to share about it.

Oh my I put the word 'fuck' up there--does that mean I have to mark this as adult content or some such nonsense? Snort.

Anyway--just to say I am still around, but thinking. Lots. And enjoying reading fics, and writing at Seaside, which I find incredibly fun and relaxing and yes, challenging too. There are some quite good writers over there and I love how I'm being pushed every time I post, to write crisper, cleaner, better. I may not have completed Nanowrimo per se, but I *have* been writing, lots, and working hard.

It is December 1st. Nick will be here February 22nd. Just... Wow. No need to say more than that, is there.

C

Comments

[richtyrrell.livejournal.com]

OMG - you said "FUCK."

What's the world coming to? My delicate sensibilities!

I totally connect with what you're saying about not blogging much anymore. I'm going through big changes in my life now that G's living with me and it just doesn't seem to fit within the framework of this blog. Share what you can when you feel like it - it's always a pleasure to see a post from you :)

Feb's nearly here! Woo hoo!

[rebbyrebs.livejournal.com]

World's ending! Watch CNN for the breaking news.

And I gotta go change her diaper.

[paragraphs.livejournal.com]

LOL I am surprised Nick didn't say something. I rarely say it, much less write it. I am bad.

I take it things are going well with G then! I so envy you. And am very happy for you.

[klgrem.livejournal.com]

Haha. Well, I think any post can be important. And I don't expect you to share everything. Most of us don't.

Just the occasional 'I'm doing fine' is nice.
And I think that is important too. :)

*hugs*

[catsintheattic.livejournal.com]

It's good to hear that you're still around. *hugs*

I always enjoy reading your posts. It's quite okay if you don't share everything with us, as long as you give us the occasional update how you are doing. :-)

And here's to that you are doing fine! :-D

[elbavolnu.livejournal.com]

I like knowing you're alive ^__^ Posts about randomness always make for a good read, you don't have to pour out anything if nothing needs to be.

Just a simple "Hi" is all we need :)

[paragraphs.livejournal.com]

LOLOL you are silly. That baby is getting BIG!!!!

*sniff* I remember when you were just a little girl yourself... SNIFF!!!

[paragraphs.livejournal.com]

Well, I am doing fine! I will tell you what I am up to--I am listening to the most recent GRRM, and am in heavy worship mode. I just bought both volumes of his Dreamsongs. I am bouncy that HBO has bought the series and it will come out--some year. I can't believe some of the things happening, and I can't say a word because Nick is only on the first book. I have, thanks to GRRM, embraced multiple POV, third person. I bought a cheap laptop off of Ebay and it has increased my output. LOL. Work is way too busy and draining me dry. And yes, we have new help, and I am still being drained dry.

Tiff is doing well, and has decided to keep on at OU two more semesters, at least. Kelly is driving, but he isn't that enthusiastic about it! One would think knowing I will be buying him a car, that he'd be demanding to drive all the time, but no... LOL.

[paragraphs.livejournal.com]

Aww thanks! I read yours too, lurk lurk. I esp. love it when you and N get into psychology-talk. LOL.

*hearts her Germans*

[paragraphs.livejournal.com]

Oh I am random, so that is good! I did read your post re: moving up in the company--that fierce attitude shows that you CARE about what happens at work, your job, and you bet that will take you places. It may not be your dream job, but this one can lead you to amazing places. You are so damn smart--heck that is obvious--and you are controlling your life at last. Most of the time. Smile. That is SO good to see.

[klgrem.livejournal.com]

Haha. I think I know how Kelly feels. I don't particularly like to drive either.
But it's a necessary evil.
Good to hear about Tiff. That's great. :)

[rebbyrebs.livejournal.com]

i'll always be a little girl. oh look pink! so cute! *dresses her up like a doll*

[elbavolnu.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I'm hoping I get some upper hand soon that will look good on applications to come. Reason Josh makes more than me starting was because at 19 he ran three warehouses for Appliance Direct. Be nice if they see, at 20, I can run this stupid shit.

I'm trying to smile more, but sometimes thinking too much distracts me from that. XOXOXO

[catsintheattic.livejournal.com]

Hello, my dear lurker! :-) *hearts you right back*

Psychology-talk - lol. It's like leopards and their spots. *g*