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Tatteredleaf

January 2023

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I gotta figure out how to find some like-minded people to do things with. I have my friend Judy who knows all about me and Nick, and my friends Allan and Leigh Ann, but they are individual friends. And Allan has a girlfriend now, so we never do anything anymore.

Once Tiff is in school at OU I'll be able to go back to the writing groups, and I look forward to that but I need friends to DO stuff with. To say hey, want breakfast? Meet me at _________. Or how about a movie _______. All that stuff.

I lead a very solitary life. My number one choice of course would be to have Nicholas here with me and I'd be very content, you bet. But I don't have him here, and all my friends are elsewhere...or too far away to meet with often. Or have 4 year old kids, or girlfriends or boyfriends...

Dammit, I'm a cool person. I'm friendly. I am pretty interesting. But I live in a city that is big, that I've lived in all my life, and I might as well be new here, as few people I know.

I think 'there's got to be others out there in FW with my views who are thinking the same things I am thinking.' Surely there are!

Life would be so sweet if we had transporter devices. Then I could visit everyone on my flist just any ol' time. Have breakfast in Germany with my baby and lunch with Po or Leafy_ and dinner with Luna or Ammy...and bebop to wherever Anthony happened to be.

With all that is happening at work, thanks to our admin and her destruction of the happy unit we all once were, work is lonely now, too.

Damn.

And daughter is leaving...

Yeah.

Maybe I should start a writer's group of my own. Must be either gay or write gay fiction. Or like to read it. That would be an interesting group and would keep the hard-core Christians away (no offense to any on my flist who are, though I doubt I have any on here, but I deal with the holier-than-thou attitudes all the time here in FW and I am sick of it).

I could join a Husky club... Woof woof...

I dunno. I just get tired of being so solo, sometimes. It's because my other half isn't here though, that I feel so hollow. I see couples and feel so jealous, it is ridiculous.

Such a whiney post, Carolyn...

My big problem is I like being around and with others only part of the time. I really do need my alone time (though alone-with-Nick time is beautiful, cuz he understands that need). So that makes me a bit of a pest because there is no predictor of when I like to be with people. Sometimes, alot of times, I just don't. Go Away People!

I am just weird I guess.

But happy, that my kids love me, accept me and Nick, and that Nick looovvesss me. And I'll be seeing him again very very soon. For Six Weeks! SQUEE!!!!

I can't wait. I want to just do the little things, like go to the store, do the check out together (he hates when I do self-service checkout--lol). Cook dinner and clean and stuff...all with my Nick. I've never been with someone who is so easy to be with. Seriously. He is just so... he calms me. Yeah.

Been working on Jax tonight, doing a little character work. I'm having fun utilizing this Writer's Dreamkit thingy from Dramaticapro. It is helping me organize and I can use that!

I suppose I will go to bed now. Yawn--am tired. And obviously whiney.

But seriously. I am tired of not having friends, here, at my beck and call. Really.

C

(no subject)

Date: 2007-08-12 03:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pir8fancier.livejournal.com
I wished you lived near me so we could hang! I've lived in this burb for 12 years and I've never clicked with anyone. Sometimes it's like I moved in last week, I feel that isolated. When the youngest kidlet is out of high school we are moving.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-08-12 05:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] paragraphs.livejournal.com
That would be so lovely. Where do you live? I love Fort Worth, really do, but it got less fun when my best friend moved away. Sucks.

My friend Judy shares a car with her sister so playing with her is a rare treat.

I watch my daughter and her closest friends, "three girls, a guy and a gay asian," and hope they do what they vow to, stay friends ForEver. LOL. My long-time friend went and had a baby at 40, so she can never go anywhere either.

So, I rock along solo, always happy though that Nick is able to call alot. :) Even though he hates to talk to me when I am shopping. LOL.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-08-12 05:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pir8fancier.livejournal.com
In Northern California, so it's a stretch. But if you're in the neighborhood....

(no subject)

Date: 2007-08-12 05:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] paragraphs.livejournal.com
Oh man...it would take a few days but... Yeah.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-08-12 05:40 pm (UTC)
ext_47419: (Default)
From: [identity profile] cruentum.livejournal.com
We could visit you when I am in the states next Feb. :P I do fancy a roadtrip.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-08-12 05:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pir8fancier.livejournal.com
YEAH!

(no subject)

Date: 2007-08-12 06:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] paragraphs.livejournal.com
Hmm baby, you are talking days of driving. LOL.

(no subject)

Date: 2007-08-22 03:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] paragraphs.livejournal.com
Hey pir8, can you email me at cparagraphs@googlemail.com? Nick and I wanna ask you about San Francisco. We are going to buy our tickets pretty soon and are very serious about wanting to meet you. It would be sometime in March '08.

C

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