paragraphs | Ranting about Religion, and, lol, writing

January 2023

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So, my MIL joined a Southern Baptist Church, and since then has made it her mission to get us to join too. It has been...interesting. Sigh. She's invited us to several things--we went quite willingly to see an author come speak, and yesterday to see her sing with her singing group, but she's taken that as a sign or something that all we need is to be pushed a little harder to become members of her church too--um, no? She actually made a list of all the things she wanted us to do there with her, then went on and on about how it would make an old lady sooooo happy...

OH, hell no. Don't do that crap to ME.

She would not listen to me tell her in person I was not interested, just brushing me off and going on and on about it, and today sent a very manipulative email about the same thing, how'd she pick us up Sunday morning and oh yes Sunday evening...wtf? I don't think so. And, I told her so in email, firmly, since she refuses to LISTEN to me (which that alone pisses me off, oh hell yeah). I am sure it'll send her into wails and tears, but dammit, I refuse to compromise my own beliefs (which are soooo far away from Southern Baptists, omg) just to 'make an old lady happy.' OMG.

The service yesterday? The 'message' was so so unreal...pretty much saying that unless you are a good Southern Baptist Christian then forget it, TO HELL YOU GO OMG! and it is up to all good Southern Baptists to bring all the Heathens to the TRUTH!! And don't get me started on their anti-Pro-Choice beliefs, and anti-gay...omg, hmm, yeah, I really belong there kids, oh yeah! My MIL thinks she knows me....

So we'll see what happens when she reads that, oh yeah.

Tiff's car got hit on the night of the 23rd. Never get hit before a holiday, okay? Not a good idea, nope. Hopefully we will get a rental by Wednesday. The other guy's fault--ran a stop sign. Oh yes, and there was a cop right behind Tiff when it happened... Geesh.

The Gulls is going great. Am actually, freak out, enjoying the heck out of writing what is supposed to be a horror story. Mmm... Maybe suspense, really? There is a lot of action and are a lot of evil bird-attacks, and I am having an incredible amount of fun writing these scenes. Never have written anything like this...and this honestly just barely touches on this sort of writing, but enough to show me that I need to explore this further.

Deer mice. We have them, and I have now seen one live one and FOUR dead ones. I AM SO FREAKED OUT! They are in my garage! I saw the evidence they leave behind! Can I say again I am freaked out? They seem to be a real problem this year (I have never had them before) so I am not alone, but I am still freaked out. I am debating how best to get rid of them--was going to get that evil poison but I think the kind of traps that they go in and don't come out are best. Easier to throw out. OMG. I am so not amused--though they are kinda cute. Bigger than regular mice, but smaller than rats, they have little round ears and are white underneath. But they are varmints, and Maddox likes to chase them--YUCK! No thanks!

What else? Not much else. Staying calm--lol that is a good thing. Now to see if I can get some of the next scene down. Two weeks and this thing is due--yikers!

Oh and NaNoWrimo--I DID NOT WIN! But I consider myself a winner anyway. :)

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Ugh on the family pushed religion, about all I can say about that. Bad news on the accident, she's okay though right? The mention of mice was enough to have my feet up in my chair - ridiculous because I'm in Washington which is far enough away from your mice to be safe. Congrats on the continued writing, glad to hear you're having fun with it :D

OMG your MIL. I am sorry. That sounds funny.

And by funny I mean horrifically funny.

Yes, it definitely IS horrifically funny! I hope this is the end of it--she wants us to have as shiny of halos as her cousin's grandkids do but, lol...mmm... Yeah.

But what she doesn't get is that my kids ARE good--they don't need to attend a church like hers to be good. They get along well with others, do positive things, are accepting of others whatever their religion, race, sexual preference or whatever...they are good students and I am pretty sure I don't have to worry about either one landing in jail, flunking out of school, or being useless adults. (Son is only 17 and is just now finding his feet but I have lots of reason to hope). She does not realize these things, because we have always known that her prejudices were not worth fighting against and so she just hasn't been told alot of things about the kids. When her son died, I became a single parent and steered my kids the direction I felt best. And that was not to a closed-minded life.

I will just not check that email for a few days--she'll just deal with it, and that is that. My son's choir Christmas program is next week and I'll send her the reminder on Friday and she can come or not. Up to her.

Haahahah we used to get the same Jehovah's witness all the time, until I finally said, "We worship Satan in this house." and shut the door. They never came again.

I swear, if I could shut out my MIL? I would. Most of the time she is cool--or was. Since she moved over to Legacy she's gotten all super-religious (but still she talks about the coloreds and the orientals, oh yeah) and wants us to all be part of that. I play it cool usually, as we don't' see her THAT much as she is always so busy, but this has been building for awhile.

I would leave her in the dust, but I am just not going to do that. I do love her, I do, but this? This pushing has got to stop. She just needs to chill, or she's going to drive us away as she did her other two kids, and we don't want that...argh!

i need more wine. It is not conducive to writing fiction like Pimms was, but it is still very good.

Well, I wish you the best, man.

Thanks Mandr, it is probably just a teeny blip in the relationship--she knows I have her back, in most ways. Cuz I do.

Another bad thing about wine--I suddenly have the munchies. Must stay away from kitchen! Carb withdrawal after 4 days of indulging is BAD!!!

(I can just see those crackers where I stashed them...ahh!)

Oh gah. Yeah, I have teriyaki chicken wings in the freezer. I can cook them in the microwave in 2 minutes.

Poor you! I do hope your MIL learns to take "no" for an answer re attending church. It would be a shame for your kids to lose touch with their grandmother, but I'm totally with you on the beliefs thing.

But what she doesn't get is that my kids ARE good--they don't need to attend a church like hers to be good. They get along well with others, do positive things, are accepting of others whatever their religion, race, sexual preference or whatever...they are good students and I am pretty sure I don't have to worry about either one landing in jail, flunking out of school, or being useless adults.

See, that's the thing. In their little world, the hyperreligious world, you CAN'T be good unless you fit into their tiny little boxes...which are entirely defined by humans. Regardless of whether you practice a religion or not, you have to admit that humans make a difference in how that religion is practiced (or you're delusional--and if you want evidence, look at all the folks who go church-shopping).

It doesn't matter how good your kids are, or how good they aren't, because they'll never fit into that little box.

I hope you are able to get it through to your MIL kindly, because otherwise she will persist and you will not be able to get rid of her without being unkind.

Scary!! About the deer mice (never heard of those!) and even scarier about the Southern Baptists... eeeeeek!

I don't buy into a specific religion, but if someone can respectfully explain the views and we can have a conversation where both sides listen, etc... like a normal adult should be able to do, then perhaps I can learn something, and the other person can learn something from/about me... but man. Having beliefs pushed on you is a biiiig no-no!

EXACTLY! I am all over that, learnign about others' beliefs and cultures, their religions and thoughts. Wide open for that, and I love the chance to learn that which I didnt' know before.

But my MIL, alas, has embraced Religion as her Reason for Living (since her favorite son died and she had no reason for living then) and I get that it makes her happy, but she needs to see that what makes her happy? It is wrong to force on others, as she is trying to do to us. Big no no, oh no no.

DEER MICE! I thought at first they were domestic rats because of the white underbellies--not a typical rat, not as big either, and very cute really. But a friend who I told about them said oh no, those are deer mice. Tis the season! GREAT. I will be donning rubber gloves and pulling out stuff to be thrown out this weekend. NOT the way I wanted to spend Saturday, but I gotta get teh garage cleaned out (they are in there! I hear them!) and traps set asap. Shudder. I also found a hole in the backyard porch--looks perfect for a rat or squirrel to get into. OMG! This is so gross. I am appalled, really!

My brother is a pastor and my entire family are VERY religious. And then you have me, burning my bras and marching for gay rights. XD

Oy, I would be burning right along beside you! It is amazing and unfathomable to me how intolerable so many religious people are--the very people who would think would be the most accepting of all. But nope. I live in the heart of Southern Baptist land--the biggest seminary is mere minutes from my house--and have long felt frustrated by that.

But I refuse to not stand up for my own beliefs. I won't push them on her if she wont' push hers on me--there is no reason we can't get along as we always did. She trapped me in her car yesterday under a different pretense to try and 'witness' to me--geeeesh, I was rather freaked out. Am afraid she will just never win on this one. I hope she got the message this time and if not? Better her unhappy than me and mine.

MY kids. Not hers. MY life, not hers.

I am absolutely fine with the concept of religion, especially if wanting to have religion in order to become a better person! That's totally fine! But trying to push your OWN beliefs on other people doesn't make you a better person, that makes you a bully! XP I like the idea of Jesus Christ, I think he's great! I just don't like his fanclub :P

Yes! I love how you put all that! Well said!

oh wine, it has hit mah head! :)

I like the idea of Jesus Christ, I think he's great! I just don't like his fanclub

Word.

"Oh yes, and there was a cop right behind Tiff when it happened..."

This is a good thing, isn't it? I hope the other driver received a citation for running a stop sign so he learns to be more aware of his surroundings in the future.

He got a big fat citation. First of all--he had no driver's license! And it wasn't his truck, though thankfully there was insurance. WHEW!!!!

Very good thing. The cop is our witness! Leaped right out to check on the kids (a friend of my daughter's was on the passenger side, which was hit).

Oh, forgot to say that I'm so glad that your daughter was OK in the crash. Lucky that there was a cop on hand to take charge and make sure people were all right.

Oh, the MIL pushing church thing sounds horrid. I hope she gets the message soon. You don't have a rental car yet? That IS a long time. I'm so glad you're enjoying writing The Gulls! I can't wait to read it.
Mice - I've had them several times, but having cats tends to get rid of them quickly. Traditional mouse traps actually work really well. I've never caught any in the kind they walk into, but they might be fine, dunno. I think just attempting NaNo is laudable, so congrats on that.

Yeah...Southern Baptists are pretty darn hard-core too. Oy. If my MIL knew...ah well, she just doesn't get me, but that is because I have never let her know the way I really rock now that I am alone. I think becoming widowed at a young age, and with a couple of kids to take care of, and finding myself again which got lost during the years of Kel's illness, has made me far more fierce than she really can comprehend. If I can't firm for myself, who will? I cannot be manipulated. And won't be.

I am loving writing The Gulls now. It is a different kind of writing, toying with suspense elements, and I am really enjoying that alot. I want to do more with that in other stuff (and in original fiction next year). So this is good, having the chance to try that which I have not tried before. TWO WEEKS THOUGH! Oh my gosh, i need to get this done this week! Blue's been beta'ing as I go though so that helps. :)

Good luck demousifying and with the writing!

Thanks you wonderful Sartorias!! I am ecstatic to say that it looks like my quest to find a good writing group through Nano is likely successful. It is mostly a mix of fantasy and YA writer, interestingly enough--writing suspense I will be the odd-person out, but they also have a mum of one of the writers who is an avid voracious reader, who is supposed to be awesome at crits and providing a reader's pov. I think that is very intriguing--we'll see what comes of it.

My daughter doesn't want me to kill the mousies. What, trap them and let them out to harass other houses? That is wrong too!

Interestingly, Texas has a weird law prohibiting extermination on Sundays. LOL!!! So I have to do it Saturday I suppose!

I reject my mom's "Go to mass! You'll feel better!" exhortations myself. (My dad didn't go, except for Christmas, and he was completely uninterested in any organized religion since his parents were a mixed bag theologically. I'm not interested, either.)

I can't wait to read The Gulls!

OHhh that must have been fun in the SB church :X

I'm sorry aobut Tiff's car, I'm glad she's ok!

You can get humane traps for mice, yep! Just drive to a field somewhere far enough from your place (in mouse terms, anyway!) and let 'em go :)

Just don't get glue traps, those are horrid. Either kill them outright or trap (gently) and release. Leaving them stuck on a glue sheet to be terrified and THEN killed (because it's half impossible to get them off, but it can be done)...ugh, just, no.

And my mother was raised Southern Baptist. My father was raised Catholic. Hella, I was confused. I like the SB fire, can't stand the brimstone, you know? Much prefer people who are enthusiastic in their faith without giving me the crap about how my faith has to be exactly like theirs. Forget TW fandom, Jesus fandom is rilly messed up sometimes :)

Ha! My adopted family attends a SB church. We go sometimes, but mostly to see the fam. My husband struggles mightily with the preacher when he builds sermons on false logic, but has learned to content himself with teaching our five year old to read things like "Be quiet. Sit still. You are not sitting still. I see you moving. No ice-cream for you if you don't sit still".

Meh, not all churches are that bad. Not even all SB churches. But I think I was conditioned at a young age to fall asleep to a certain cadence of fire and brimstone. My denominational preferences are influenced heavily by the music. There's this pianist....

I'm so glad I was never pushed to go to church by my parents or grandparents for that matter. We do some religious stuff like eating fish on Good Friday but that's how far it goes. my parents are religious.

my grandparents are but they respect that my parents aren't.

First off, I'm so sorry Tiff's car got hit, but I'm glad the idiot who ran into her was cited, etc. She and her passenger are okay, yes? Hopefully the repairs to her car won't take forever.

Oh, proselytizing relatives, what fun! Good on you for setting firm boundaries with her regarding religious activities. I really can't see you toeing the SBC party line. Nope.

I should really know about humane mouse traps. But I don't. :D

I really, really hope you get your rental soon! And I am totally crushing on The Gulls! Yay!

Your MIL. Le sigh. Guilting people into it is no way to create lifelong church-goers. (Ha, especially when I don't agree w/ her!) Good luck w/ it, C, and feel free to vent!

Wah! I hate being pushed by anyone, and towards religion in particular. My mum has finally stopped doing it after 25 years of fighting, but I know how much it sucks. I hope your MIL won't need that long. *hugs*

I'm glad that it's just the car, and Tiff is all right. She is, yes?

You are a winner! Of course you are! :-)

don't get me started on the hypocrisy of the churchies (not all, i'm sure) but had an "interesting" thanksgiving with the family, is all i'll say

I hope you can convince your MIL that no means no. And from my experience it is better to draw a clear line in the sand than to humour her occasionally - because that means she'll hope you'll come more often.

As for the mice, autumn is indeed the season when they try to move into warmer places. If you use live traps, you need to check them daily, or else you'll have a dead mouse anyway.

I'd strongly advise against poison, a) because if you have cats about, poisoning their potential foodsource is never a good idea, and b) you really don't want a mouse to go and die in an inaccessible place.

Deer mice? Do they have horns?

I was "raised" a JW. I quit going the day I turned 18. My mother has been disfellowshipped from that place and still bugs me about it. I even told her I am an atheist, but whatever. The day Sky was born, she asked if I believed in God now. Umm. NO.

Deer mice... well throwing them out wouldn't work because they'll always come back. We had mice in the storage in the basement and no way of finding the damn hole so... poison traps it was. SORRY!! But now no more mice! No more droppings!

Everyone's entitled to their beliefs but I don't think they should force them on anyone else. It shouldn't be combined with emotional blackmail.

Glad Tiff is okay. Cars can be fixed but sometimes people can't.

Never heard of deer mice but any mice/rats etc would freak me out.

Clearly your dogs aren't doing their job.

Mice? Seriously?

::hugs you:: YOU TOTALLY WON NANO.

The only mousetraps I have ever had success with were the ones that looked like bulldog clips. The mice got into a house with two cats and an antsy chihuahua by tunneling in through a cupboard.

Religion is so hard. I used to work at a Christian school, so I do have some Fundie friends (remind me to tell you the story of the house ghost and my fundie friend, if I haven't!) and it's HARD. I have very different opinions about sex and divinity and doing good to them. They dislike that I am pagan. I don't give a fat rat's arse that they are Xtian.

That said, I am very familiar with the Bible. The reading (aside from the "YOU WILL NOT HAVE MOULD IN YOUR HOUSE" stuff from Leviticus) that I like the most is here: http://niv.scripturetext.com/1_corinthians/13.htm

It's my old work's school reading, and I think it's just beautiful. I'd like to have it read at my funeral (ok, depressing much!? but still!) because in the original language the "love" they're talking about means love for all mankind -- there is not an English word for it, but the closest is "charity". FAIL.

I think, maybe, that sometimes people who identify as Christian forget this message. If I have no love for the people around me, then I'm just making noise, not saying meaningful things.

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Ranting about Religion, and, lol, writing

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