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Okay so do I owe apologies for yesterday's post? Probably. Sorry kids, really am. I didn't mean to alarm so many of you. I will answer those comments in a bit.
But can I also admit to the warm fuzzies for your concerns? Seriously. I'm so used to lolling behind somebody's shadow (a nice place to be, really--I like it here on the edge of things) that the sudden flurry of comments and emails made me grin? Y'all care! You do! You really really do! Sniff!
Silly C, huh.
Anyway. The point of that post was to express a light-bulb moment I had while nose-deep in a bunch of crossing closures; I don't want to write m/m fiction any more. I just don't want to.
I mean, really. I gotta look at this logically. If I am capable of garnering such nice responses first to my published mystery (dorky as it was) and then to Red, then I am capable of doing so with another story in a different genre. Something different and what I want to write. Not what others want me to write (no matter how lovely the requests for more more more--more of the same--are).
Red is basically a romance. Romantic suspense. I have never had a desire to be a romance author. I looked into it extensively back in the day, owe a lot (quite a lot frankly) to my time with the romance world (all those brilliant workshops) but I never belonged there. I've written a romance once, I did it well, I wrote the story of my heart when I needed to do it and I Just Do Not Want to do it again. Anything else would be a rehash of what I have already done and I put EVERYTHING (ideas and passions) I had for that particular genre into Red. I am getting NOTHING out of trying to do another. I am not striving, I am not pushing myself because there is nothing left to push.
Onward-time, yes? No more time-wasting. No more forcing myself to write (or trying to write) in a genre I have no basic interest in. I never read it, never buy it, have no desire to be seen as a writer of it. Sure I enjoy the little checks every month, and it would be nice to have those keep on going, but it is a waste of my time and energy to devote to something I just don't care about when the possibility exists that I can achieve more. But I can't do that if I am spinning my wheels trying to work on something I don't care about, just for the sake of a month-end paycheck. That is wrong.
And yeah, it is also a wee bit "eek" to let go of that, as I had imagined a 2nd sale's money would go toward my Go See Nick fund. I'll find other ways. I will always find other ways to see him. Always.
Most of y'all know I literally fell into selling Red, it was never meant to be sold, was written just for me during tough times. It served its purpose, served it well, and I love what it did for me. That doesn't mean I have to write anymore stories like it, just because I sold that one.
What brought this final decision on (at last)? Alot of things:
1. The fact I have been 'working' on 'something else' for Loose-Id to follow Red for four years and still have 43k words of nothing.
2. The posts about writing that![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
catsintheattic has been making (based on Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott). I have the book, but Cat's posts about the different chapters are thought-provoking. The hmmmmsss that have sprung up in my head as a result have been intriguing. Okay, a little bit embarrassing. Damn, I'm stupid.
3. Running across a 2006 fantasy story I was playing with (and its mates), which made me remember just how much fun I can have writing. And, how much work over several years I put into all sorts of things connected to that world (maps, short stories, the 4-5 ms outlines connected to it, etc.). I put it all aside due to people I once associated with and divorced myself from years ago. Why did I let them sour something that gave me such joy? Sad, but true. Damn me.
4. A postpir8fancier wrote that directed her flisters to this: Laura Miller. It's an article based on those '10 Things Writers Should Do' articles. Miller is a reader of novels, not a writer of novels, and her list (not of ten things but she stated what she needed to) also made me ponder the hell out of one of my fav ideas related to 3. above.
2. Make your main character do something. For the reasons stated above, many writers gravitate toward characters to whom things happen, as opposed to characters who cause things to happen. It's not impossible to write a compelling novel or story in which the main character is entirely the victim of circumstances and events, but it's really, really hard, and chances are that readers will still find the character irritatingly passive. When you hear someone complain that "nothing happens" in a work of fiction, it's often because the central character doesn't drive the action.
!? *HEAD SLAP* NOW I UNDERSTAND WHAT IS WRONG WITH MY HISTORICAL FANTASY!!! Why couldn't I see it before this? I don't know. Or more, I didn't want to admit it. But, yeah yeah yeah...indeed that is the problem with my MC. He is passive, things happen TO him, not BECAUSE of him. The kid needs to grow up. I do believe in this story, I do I do!
5. That writing meme going around, and a response Nick wrote to a comment a flister made that made me smack myself as my own answer would've SUCKED. But I love what he said (and him being miiinnee has nothing to do with loving it lol).
Concerning writing that which he'd written before (more or less about that). ...but it doesn't challenge me. It's not me trying anything new, trying anything that actually goes anywhere... So for me it's really about challenging myself to do different things, write in different ways.
Sometimes it takes someone else to say what you yourself should be believing.
6. I was sooo happy November-December writing The Gulls and the SS fic (both monstery fics). I enjoyed the Yuletide fic too. Had the best time writing those three than I have had in ages with writing. And it wasn't because it was all fanfiction...it was because there was action! mystery! monsters! drama! dialogue! characterization! just a TAD of romance! And I could feel myself improving as I wrote. I need to do more of that. I do I do, and so, I am.
Lots of reasons to toss out the old stuff, huh. I guess the stars have aligned, the path has cleared, I have seen the light, I am ready to take the plunge, and lord knows I've talked about doing Something Different often enough. About time I did huh? (and I've posted THAT before too!)
LOL. So. Where to begin? Where DOES one begin when a new path is decided on?
With writing, of course.
But can I also admit to the warm fuzzies for your concerns? Seriously. I'm so used to lolling behind somebody's shadow (a nice place to be, really--I like it here on the edge of things) that the sudden flurry of comments and emails made me grin? Y'all care! You do! You really really do! Sniff!
Silly C, huh.
Anyway. The point of that post was to express a light-bulb moment I had while nose-deep in a bunch of crossing closures; I don't want to write m/m fiction any more. I just don't want to.
I mean, really. I gotta look at this logically. If I am capable of garnering such nice responses first to my published mystery (dorky as it was) and then to Red, then I am capable of doing so with another story in a different genre. Something different and what I want to write. Not what others want me to write (no matter how lovely the requests for more more more--more of the same--are).
Red is basically a romance. Romantic suspense. I have never had a desire to be a romance author. I looked into it extensively back in the day, owe a lot (quite a lot frankly) to my time with the romance world (all those brilliant workshops) but I never belonged there. I've written a romance once, I did it well, I wrote the story of my heart when I needed to do it and I Just Do Not Want to do it again. Anything else would be a rehash of what I have already done and I put EVERYTHING (ideas and passions) I had for that particular genre into Red. I am getting NOTHING out of trying to do another. I am not striving, I am not pushing myself because there is nothing left to push.
Onward-time, yes? No more time-wasting. No more forcing myself to write (or trying to write) in a genre I have no basic interest in. I never read it, never buy it, have no desire to be seen as a writer of it. Sure I enjoy the little checks every month, and it would be nice to have those keep on going, but it is a waste of my time and energy to devote to something I just don't care about when the possibility exists that I can achieve more. But I can't do that if I am spinning my wheels trying to work on something I don't care about, just for the sake of a month-end paycheck. That is wrong.
And yeah, it is also a wee bit "eek" to let go of that, as I had imagined a 2nd sale's money would go toward my Go See Nick fund. I'll find other ways. I will always find other ways to see him. Always.
Most of y'all know I literally fell into selling Red, it was never meant to be sold, was written just for me during tough times. It served its purpose, served it well, and I love what it did for me. That doesn't mean I have to write anymore stories like it, just because I sold that one.
What brought this final decision on (at last)? Alot of things:
1. The fact I have been 'working' on 'something else' for Loose-Id to follow Red for four years and still have 43k words of nothing.
2. The posts about writing that
catsintheattic has been making (based on Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott). I have the book, but Cat's posts about the different chapters are thought-provoking. The hmmmmsss that have sprung up in my head as a result have been intriguing. Okay, a little bit embarrassing. Damn, I'm stupid. 3. Running across a 2006 fantasy story I was playing with (and its mates), which made me remember just how much fun I can have writing. And, how much work over several years I put into all sorts of things connected to that world (maps, short stories, the 4-5 ms outlines connected to it, etc.). I put it all aside due to people I once associated with and divorced myself from years ago. Why did I let them sour something that gave me such joy? Sad, but true. Damn me.
4. A post
pir8fancier wrote that directed her flisters to this: Laura Miller. It's an article based on those '10 Things Writers Should Do' articles. Miller is a reader of novels, not a writer of novels, and her list (not of ten things but she stated what she needed to) also made me ponder the hell out of one of my fav ideas related to 3. above. 2. Make your main character do something. For the reasons stated above, many writers gravitate toward characters to whom things happen, as opposed to characters who cause things to happen. It's not impossible to write a compelling novel or story in which the main character is entirely the victim of circumstances and events, but it's really, really hard, and chances are that readers will still find the character irritatingly passive. When you hear someone complain that "nothing happens" in a work of fiction, it's often because the central character doesn't drive the action.
!? *HEAD SLAP* NOW I UNDERSTAND WHAT IS WRONG WITH MY HISTORICAL FANTASY!!! Why couldn't I see it before this? I don't know. Or more, I didn't want to admit it. But, yeah yeah yeah...indeed that is the problem with my MC. He is passive, things happen TO him, not BECAUSE of him. The kid needs to grow up. I do believe in this story, I do I do!
5. That writing meme going around, and a response Nick wrote to a comment a flister made that made me smack myself as my own answer would've SUCKED. But I love what he said (and him being miiinnee has nothing to do with loving it lol).
Concerning writing that which he'd written before (more or less about that). ...but it doesn't challenge me. It's not me trying anything new, trying anything that actually goes anywhere... So for me it's really about challenging myself to do different things, write in different ways.
Sometimes it takes someone else to say what you yourself should be believing.
6. I was sooo happy November-December writing The Gulls and the SS fic (both monstery fics). I enjoyed the Yuletide fic too. Had the best time writing those three than I have had in ages with writing. And it wasn't because it was all fanfiction...it was because there was action! mystery! monsters! drama! dialogue! characterization! just a TAD of romance! And I could feel myself improving as I wrote. I need to do more of that. I do I do, and so, I am.
Lots of reasons to toss out the old stuff, huh. I guess the stars have aligned, the path has cleared, I have seen the light, I am ready to take the plunge, and lord knows I've talked about doing Something Different often enough. About time I did huh? (and I've posted THAT before too!)
LOL. So. Where to begin? Where DOES one begin when a new path is decided on?
With writing, of course.
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(no subject)
Date: 2010-03-01 07:01 pm (UTC)Quick question--my new post I wrote about our trip to Gwbert. How exactly is that pronounced? You are my Welsh expert!
(no subject)
Date: 2010-03-02 05:05 pm (UTC)Re the place name, it ought to be pronounced "Goobert", but it doesn't look quite like a normal Welsh name somehow. However, Welsh is much less prone to quirky ways of pronouncing names than England is (eg Bicester=Bister and Worcester=Wuster, etc.) and Welsh is normally pronounced as written, so I'd go with that.