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Tatteredleaf

January 2023

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I can't believe it has been April since I posted. May was a busy flurry both personally and at home, with way too much going on at the office, and my house finally getting worked on and finished.  Only took 26 months to finally have my house completely repaired after our double hail storms of terror and doom.  But it is finally done so I can look forward to the rest of the summer being all about paying off stuff, losing weight (16 to go!) and writing.  So, I thought it would be helpful to me (but maybe boring to read) to have a place to keep track of certain things, starting today. I plan to do this every Sunday evening,though I didn't last night - great way to start out, right?

There are several areas of my life I am setting goals for, and keeping track of.  They are:

1.    Weight.  I'm down 16.2 lbs. since April 27th. I want to lose  17-20 more.  I am using My Fitness Pal again after a brief stint on the Lose-It app, but I find MFP easier to use.  I am CeeGray on there.  Love more friends!  

2.   Exercise.   I have a spin bike, a treadmill, and a kettle bell, and a yoga mat.  Hardly touched any of them since I got back from vacation.  Losing weight is primarily a food thing - but I want to get back to regular, light exercise.  Strenuous isn't necessary, and it also seems to backfire - for instance, for me, 6-7k steps a day is perfect.  For awhile I was doing 10-12k steps a day and all it gave me was inflammation in my knees.    I have joined a team challenge on Reddit - I am part of Team Superman. Not my fave superhero but I love the guy moderating our group - he is golden.  It actually starts July 1, so I will be doing all I can to be successful with my group.  I'm looking for a kettle bell routine to do, and I'm restarting, again, Couch to 5k, but with the goal of slow jogging, not the mad running speed fiend I thought I had to be. I don't.  

3.  Writing.  Oh writing - working on my epic fantasy. This is my favorite, most personal world, and I love it -  and I don't know if I will ever share it.  I feel very little urge to write for publication right now - I don't have that kind of drive currently.  Too tired at the end of every day to go home and sit more at the computer - but, I am writing during lunch some, so that is good.  And I signed up for Camp Nanowrimo in July, so there is that!  After this is done, which should be around the time I go to Sirens, I am going to make a decision regarding my writing future. 

4.  House.  I am purging crap left and right.  I love finally getting a handle on this, at long last.  Now that my kids are all moved out it is much easier!  

5.  Work.   It owns me, it is my life, and I am not really too upset about that. I am proud of my work, and love what I do. But I am so tired, working for 2.5 people. It is very stressful.  But, we are working to find a new person and if we are successful, I will stop working for Jim and just work for Desiree. This is kinda both sad and awesome - I love Jim's work, but most of my high internal stress comes from him. Desiree 'gets me' as she puts it and we work well together, and she needs full time help.  Plus, she is only 34 - Jim is almost 65.  How long will he continue?  I don't know - but Desiree will go on many more years.  I want to work about 10 more.   This change may or may not happen - if it does, the downside is I lose my office with a view - not that I have time to stare out at it much.  

6.  Pets.  I love them.  The dogs are great.  My betta Thor is sick - he is bloated, so I have him in a salt water hospital tank, with the temp turned up to 81, and is not getting food for a couple days. I feel awful - I accidentally gave him too many bloodworms, and he has symptoms of dropsy - this could do him in.  His water tests fine so that is something, but I am sad. I want him to get better.  He is resting in a plant right now, so hopefully he will improve.  

7.  Love.  Single. Mostly okay with it, sometimes lonely, but I am used to it too.  I wouldn't mind meeting someone but in today's political climate, I am super wary, especially of white men.  I still am trying to figure out how to clone N so he can live here and still live his life in the UK but that will never happen.  Besides he has his own husky now and she is adorable!  I don't know how to put myself out there, anyway.  Where is Idris Elba when you need him? 

8.   Friends.  Making efforts to get out as much as I can without overloading.  At least once a week, anyway!  I keep looking at Meetup groups too but so far haven't seen one that makes me definitely want to get out and go attend.  Not sure what I want honestly - just someone to call up and say hey, want coffee?  I miss that so much (see 7. above).  Sometimes, it really kills me I don't have that.  Lots of friends, but everyone has their own lives. I have no BFF here (elsewhere, yes).  I have my kids thank the stars - we had a blast Saturday - but they have SO's too, and really do love both of their partners.  They don't need me hanging around them constantly.  I guess I need someone like me, with no BFF... LOL!  Sigh.  I loved my vacation so much because my friend Kieran and I just enjoyed just hanging out together so much. Dammit.  

So future weeks I plan to just have each heading, and write a brief 'this is what happened this week'.  I think that will help me out considerably.   Short and sweet (after this one).

And now for bed - pretty tired, I was up late last night as I started writing late and got Super-Jazzed.  Oops.  I was going to bed just when N was getting up in the UK - oops.  


My 20 gallon long tank is finally cycled, and I love it!  I have wanted to start a betta sorority for ages, and today is the day!  I will be looking for 4-5 female bettas to join my girl Bette Midler lol.  I keep calling her Poppy though so I guess that is her nickname.  These silly fish (3 tanks now) have truly brightened my life, and I love them.  The 20g long, the 20g tall, and  2.5 though that one needs an upgrade as fighting the ammonia is hard.  It spiked horribly yesterday and I don't want Thor to get ammonia burns. There was a cute little 5 gallon at my new favorite pet store for 10 bucks so I think I will get that for him today, which means an empty tank, which means...  I am going to get another baby!  I loved growing a baby betta. I'll get a female this time though so she can go in the 20 long.

Enough fish talk.

Writing - limping along.  I hope to make some more progress this weekend.  I fell out of the habit of writing during lunch, but I am working to get back to that.  This weekend my plan is to outline what scenes I have left to fill in to get to where what was YA's main character's 'mirror moment' - that moment when she (Aneli is her name) finally realized that it was up to her to take the plunge, possibly sacrificing herself, to save her half-brother and his people (who she always felt apart from, but has finally come to realize they have been her family all along, she was the one who held back).   It was a fabulous ride getting her to this point, but I don't want to continue on with her journey until I get the others to their moments.  (not all at once, that would be boring).  Getting everyone in the same country is the main goal, I think!  And I am super excited about having Aneli meet Milandria at long last.  My two favorite women characters ever!  Especially Milandria - she has been with me for almost 17 years.  

Dogs are great.  LOVE MY DOGS.   

I wish, wish so bad, I could find one person, male or female I don't care, who is local to me who would happily meet up with me on a regular basis for writing sessions.  Everything is so crit-oriented and frankly, that doesn't interest me. Sorry.  I want to WRITE WITH PEOPLE. Like, over lunch or breakfast!  On the weekends, not during the week - everything is during the week, and I just can't do that.   I love when my friend Anthony is in town as we always have such a great time meeting up and writing and dinner and talk and such.  Everyone I know either has families, or lives in Dallas, so it isn't possible to meet regularly.  Sigh.

I have paid up my Sirens registration and cannot wait to go again.  It is in Vail this year! HIGH HIGH SO HIGH in the mountains!!  I love this con so damn much.  It is women-focused, Sci-Fi Fantasy, and this will be my second year.  THIS year I go knowing a bunch of people which makes it even better.   One of the women I met there is also local to me - and clear up north of Dallas.  We've met up a couple of times, and it was awesome, but again - she has family, so it isn't a regular thing.

I never made it to Scarborough Faire - again. I meant to, but the $$ wasn't there, and the roof drama--just too much, and too much going on.  I could go today I guess but again, not gonna happen.

Other stuff - I am loving my house, my backyard, my dogs, my world.  I wish sometimes there was someone with me to experience this, but the one person I'd want is firmly planted, and happily, in England and will stay there.  He has a dog now too - a husky! She is adorable.  I plan to get back there next year.  It has been a couple years since we saw each other :(.  Sadface.  

I suppose I could try dating, but...  Not feeling it. LOL.  Meh!

I suppose I could go do errands now - dry my hair, throw on pants and go.  Then come back and spend the rest of the day with the dogs - tonight after it cools I am taking Maddox to the washadoggery to blow all his fur off. That should be fun!!  





 

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