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Tatteredleaf

January 2023

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There are so many things broken around my house that I need to get fixed:

1. Kitchen sink - garbage disposal is dead, and my hot water is turned off under the sink because of the leak i had a few weeks ago that totally saturated through to my bedroom before I discovered it. I can't fix this one myself dammit.

2. Bathroom toilet - it is dead. I know how to fix toilets, but for some reason the water won't shut off. It is bizarre. Fortunately my half-bath is right next to my room, but what a pain. In fact I need to redo my entire master bath. It looks like a college dorm bathroom. Boring.

3. Fence. I need help turning my fence into Sibe Quentin - there are two main places where the dogs have destroyed it (chasing squirrels and possums) and so the places are covered up with junk. I need desperately to get planks replaced, fencing generally fixed, and chicken wire/gravel put around the perimeter (best cure for husky escapes). If I do that, then I can get a doggie door and the dogs can go in and out all day.

4. Carpet - needs ripping up and replacing. Badly. BADLY. I spent soooo much on that carpet - and then got huskies.

5. Walls - got a professional paint job 9 years ago but it needs serious touching up all over - love my yellow walls but edges, baseboards, etc. yeah. Kitchen needs repainting too.

6. There is a hole in the wall in my bathroom. Needs repair.

7. Little bathroom - needs baseboards. Tiff painted it a pretty green and I like it but it is so generic. It would be nice to spiff it up.

8. Upstairs - major cleaning, throwing away of old furniture, two aquariums need breaking down - son owes me and needs to take care of this crap

9. And then of course my car - needs cosmetic work (new side mirror, new front grill, the hood has dents that I think can be fixed, the dark blue paint is being beat up in the Texas heat and I would love to get that spiffed up).

10. Backyard - huskies are very hard on yards, and my yard sucks. I would love to build a new back porch, big slabs - I know how to do it as my co-worker did and told me how to do it but damn, hard work. I also want more trees. I have a big backyard. Wait - more trees means more squirrels....

I also want to get a new table and chairs for the dining area, sell my treadmill and move the little marble table into the kitchen area - I want to steam my floors too. And fix the front yard up, plant flowers...

I AM DEPRESSED NOW.

Okay not really - but seeing this list makes me think I need to figure out what of this I can do myself, what I can get my son's help, and who can do the other stuff for me. I need a handyman! Or woman! Someone! And a plumber.

At least, thankfully, I know my a/c won't give out on me this year - it is brand new! It CAN'T!!!!!!! And is under warranty.

Also - this afternoon I went to Starbucks and poured through my oldoldold fantasy and the newer one and realized that yes, they belong together - it was interesting to read back through my outline of the old fantasy and see where I lost focus on some of the characters, especially Milandria, but where in the new fantasy, she has a rich role... and I realize that it won't take much work to rework the entire outline, weaving them together... the story arcs... so important they all work, and in the oldold it all fell apart and I couldn't see it...

I definitely think it is worth the effort of seeing if it truly will work as I see it in my head. Definitely.

Finished the Cleopatra Selene trilogy this morning from 2:00 a.m. to about 4:30. LOL. I woke up at 2:00 and went to the restroom and thought oh man, so close to the end... shouldn't take long! And so I did. And bawled like crazy, hit my emotions hard and awesomely - absolutely LOVED this trilogy (Stephanie Dray is the author). If you like first person, female POV, an MC with incredible insight and a damn good journey, exquisite writing (well I sure liked it) and a writer who makes a world and time and place come to life... yeah. Good story.

Am rewatching Orphan Black in prep for the next season/series. So excited, so fabulous to watch again - picking up more stuff, little hints, and am clearer on things. So damn good.
I am a very nice person. How do I know this? People tell me so, including my boss. He's said several times since I've started to work for him I am one of the nicest people he's ever known. Sweet that my ruse works so well, huh! If he only saw inside my brain.... of course there are LOTS of things my boss/workmates don't know about me that would shock them but, well, not their business, yeah?

Today, I was not so nice, and LOL my boss said, "Good!" when I told him I got MAD. This was all over trying to obtain medical records that I have been attempting to get for MONTHS! *shakes fist* Today, after STILL not getting them, I had to throw out the "Nicest Person Ever" and grab my "I AM FIERCE AND PISSED" hat, slam it on my hat and demanded to speak to this records clerk's supervisor. Finally I got it all hammered out, my request expedited, and a promise made I would have my records on Monday. ROAR!!!!

I really hate having to get fierce because that truly is not my nature. I don't like causing others to be upset, to the point where I wallow in my own frustration and misery rather than upset the apple cart. For some reason I'd rather stew in my own frustration, anger or hurt than say something. This is a life-long issue of mine, and for many years I didn't clam up and just, you know, deal in my own way (and simmer beneath the surface) but instead choose to be fierce first. I need to find a happy medium, I think, both at work and in my real life.

I just want to be liked, you know????

I was sick yesterday. Growl. Fever, sore throat and a bit of a nose issue. Am better today but am super tired. The good news? My knee is much, much better. I have to say, anyone with knee issues should take a stab at HYALURONIC ACID. LOL that is in all caps because I can never remember how it is spelled. In any case, it is brilliant how rapidly my knee has improved since starting it last Friday. Today I only had a couple of twinges! This is a true miracle!

Been working on the expansion of the sci fi which is rolling into the space opera world. Lots of work ahead, but my goal is to have it done by Worldcon which I am attending this year. YAY! It is in San Antonio so I can drive down Friday after work and be back Monday afternoon. I'll miss a bit of it, but I have no more vacation to use. Sigh. I do miss my three week's vacation, SO MUCH. SO VERY VERY MUCH!!!!!!

Anyway. I am incredibly glad it got rejected as lightning struck this past weekend and I saw exactly what needed to be done. Why I didn't see it before...? I am not sure but this story has evolved more than any other story I've ever written. Am learning a lot and enjoying studying sci fi and space opera more specifically. And perhaps that is why I can now see where to go with the story - where it needs to go - because I am more informed. It simply feels good, very good.

It got cold again - yesterday? 76 degrees and we had to kick the a/c on. Today? 38 in the afternoon!!! WTH weather! Usually this time of year we've already had the a/c on for a few weeks. Not this year except now and then like yesterday. What will this mean for the summer? I hope my plants survive this nonsense!

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