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I am a very nice person. How do I know this? People tell me so, including my boss. He's said several times since I've started to work for him I am one of the nicest people he's ever known. Sweet that my ruse works so well, huh! If he only saw inside my brain.... of course there are LOTS of things my boss/workmates don't know about me that would shock them but, well, not their business, yeah?
Today, I was not so nice, and LOL my boss said, "Good!" when I told him I got MAD. This was all over trying to obtain medical records that I have been attempting to get for MONTHS! *shakes fist* Today, after STILL not getting them, I had to throw out the "Nicest Person Ever" and grab my "I AM FIERCE AND PISSED" hat, slam it on my hat and demanded to speak to this records clerk's supervisor. Finally I got it all hammered out, my request expedited, and a promise made I would have my records on Monday. ROAR!!!!
I really hate having to get fierce because that truly is not my nature. I don't like causing others to be upset, to the point where I wallow in my own frustration and misery rather than upset the apple cart. For some reason I'd rather stew in my own frustration, anger or hurt than say something. This is a life-long issue of mine, and for many years I didn't clam up and just, you know, deal in my own way (and simmer beneath the surface) but instead choose to be fierce first. I need to find a happy medium, I think, both at work and in my real life.
I just want to be liked, you know????
I was sick yesterday. Growl. Fever, sore throat and a bit of a nose issue. Am better today but am super tired. The good news? My knee is much, much better. I have to say, anyone with knee issues should take a stab at HYALURONIC ACID. LOL that is in all caps because I can never remember how it is spelled. In any case, it is brilliant how rapidly my knee has improved since starting it last Friday. Today I only had a couple of twinges! This is a true miracle!
Been working on the expansion of the sci fi which is rolling into the space opera world. Lots of work ahead, but my goal is to have it done by Worldcon which I am attending this year. YAY! It is in San Antonio so I can drive down Friday after work and be back Monday afternoon. I'll miss a bit of it, but I have no more vacation to use. Sigh. I do miss my three week's vacation, SO MUCH. SO VERY VERY MUCH!!!!!!
Anyway. I am incredibly glad it got rejected as lightning struck this past weekend and I saw exactly what needed to be done. Why I didn't see it before...? I am not sure but this story has evolved more than any other story I've ever written. Am learning a lot and enjoying studying sci fi and space opera more specifically. And perhaps that is why I can now see where to go with the story - where it needs to go - because I am more informed. It simply feels good, very good.
It got cold again - yesterday? 76 degrees and we had to kick the a/c on. Today? 38 in the afternoon!!! WTH weather! Usually this time of year we've already had the a/c on for a few weeks. Not this year except now and then like yesterday. What will this mean for the summer? I hope my plants survive this nonsense!
Today, I was not so nice, and LOL my boss said, "Good!" when I told him I got MAD. This was all over trying to obtain medical records that I have been attempting to get for MONTHS! *shakes fist* Today, after STILL not getting them, I had to throw out the "Nicest Person Ever" and grab my "I AM FIERCE AND PISSED" hat, slam it on my hat and demanded to speak to this records clerk's supervisor. Finally I got it all hammered out, my request expedited, and a promise made I would have my records on Monday. ROAR!!!!
I really hate having to get fierce because that truly is not my nature. I don't like causing others to be upset, to the point where I wallow in my own frustration and misery rather than upset the apple cart. For some reason I'd rather stew in my own frustration, anger or hurt than say something. This is a life-long issue of mine, and for many years I didn't clam up and just, you know, deal in my own way (and simmer beneath the surface) but instead choose to be fierce first. I need to find a happy medium, I think, both at work and in my real life.
I just want to be liked, you know????
I was sick yesterday. Growl. Fever, sore throat and a bit of a nose issue. Am better today but am super tired. The good news? My knee is much, much better. I have to say, anyone with knee issues should take a stab at HYALURONIC ACID. LOL that is in all caps because I can never remember how it is spelled. In any case, it is brilliant how rapidly my knee has improved since starting it last Friday. Today I only had a couple of twinges! This is a true miracle!
Been working on the expansion of the sci fi which is rolling into the space opera world. Lots of work ahead, but my goal is to have it done by Worldcon which I am attending this year. YAY! It is in San Antonio so I can drive down Friday after work and be back Monday afternoon. I'll miss a bit of it, but I have no more vacation to use. Sigh. I do miss my three week's vacation, SO MUCH. SO VERY VERY MUCH!!!!!!
Anyway. I am incredibly glad it got rejected as lightning struck this past weekend and I saw exactly what needed to be done. Why I didn't see it before...? I am not sure but this story has evolved more than any other story I've ever written. Am learning a lot and enjoying studying sci fi and space opera more specifically. And perhaps that is why I can now see where to go with the story - where it needs to go - because I am more informed. It simply feels good, very good.
It got cold again - yesterday? 76 degrees and we had to kick the a/c on. Today? 38 in the afternoon!!! WTH weather! Usually this time of year we've already had the a/c on for a few weeks. Not this year except now and then like yesterday. What will this mean for the summer? I hope my plants survive this nonsense!
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Date: 2013-04-11 04:22 am (UTC)That said, I pushed the boundaries of acceptable behaviour a couple of days ago. I sent my ex a truly mean, cruel, vicious e-mail that was aimed to hit him just where it hurts. I learned that no, being a horrible person doesn't make me feel any better. At the same time, it did help me move on because when he left me, I didn't have a chance to say, well, anything to him, and he's refused contact since. As cruel and misguided as my message was, it was in a way me finally breaking up with him (whereas he broke up with me a month ago) and also voicing my side of the story. (He treated me quite badly towards the end, and yet blamed our break-up entirely on me. And I never spoke up because...I still wanted to make things work? I was actually convinced I was being a crazy b**** for asking him to send me a birthday card and acknowledge my existence in front of girls who have a crush on him? That it's normal to call your partner's depression "stressful" and refuse to support them? Ugh.)
Point being, sometimes it's okay to get mad, and sometimes you need to get mad even when it's not okay and when it hurts others. And then you need to apologize. (I did, and he was cruel back at me. Oh well.)