Book Reviews are Like Unexpected Rainshowers...

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Okay that is super corny for a subject line, but it just never seems to fail to happen...whenever I am feeling really stale  and crappy re: my writing, more in the mood to stop writing than pick it up again because once again I've managed to convince myself my writing is crap now, crap crap crap, just am all twisty and frustrated with too many half-ideas and no brain to figure even one out and wanting to do things that I really am not the kind of writer to do, I get a surprise in my mailbox that reminds me of what I *am* good at, and what I really love most.

Thanks Hayley, for the smack in the face.  (The good kind, I promise). 

It is truly strange to read what others pull out of a fic you've written.  The descriptions of my book and what this blogger saw in it make me wonder once again--HOW DID I DO THAT????  I honestly don't know.  In any case, I'm always grateful to get fan letters for this book.  So here it is if anyone wants to peek:

Red

I've got to answer her email and thank her...she asked if the rumors were true (rumors? where the hell are they talking about me, oh my!), am I really writing a sequel? Well, yeah, I started it...and I will now finish it.  LOL especially given I told my temp editor I'd have it done by end of September...meep!   LOL.  It is now mid-July...and I've made NO progress since April. ZIP.

I do worry though--how can I top Red? I think that is part of my problem with working on ballet boy (as I call it) because I know it can't be as good as Red was...and thus, I have let myself stalemate.

So...

Tomorrow morning, at 5:20, I board the bus to take me back to Hamburg Airport to catch my flight back to Fort Worth.  Home--yeah, I guess, but with each passing day, month, year, and with every new time I have with Nick, the less it feels like home. I grew up in Fort Worth, made my married life there, had the kidlets, we still live in the same house we lived in when the spouse died...I have a good job there, 8 years with it in fact...but it is not where I want to be, not anymore.  But...no changes for now can happen, so when I get back, instead of being the mopey banana I was these last nine months (since Nick left Texas until we met up in Hamburg) I am going to cut the crappy attitude and accomplish some things.  

Of course, it is true I got off my butt and lost a hell of a lot of weight (which Nick approved of, yeah baby he said all the right things when he saw me) but now I need to switch all that energy to other things. So, I will.  YES! I WILL! 

To writing, to finding (or founding) a writing group, open-minded people only can apply, thanks, to diving into GIS and seeing if that is the direction I want to go career wise and if not, figuring out something else because my job is extremely specific to BNSF Rwy and as such, is impossible to transfer anywhere else. I am woefully unprepared for working in any other field.  Being damn good at what I do now is useless to me.  Not good, that.

So, plans must be made and followed through on--swift kicks in the rear to help me stay on track are always welcome. LOL.

But first, have to get through these next hours without dissolving into a pile of jiggly woobley goo.  Sigh. (honestly, we really ARE better this time--last time I was in Germany we started wibbling three, four days before I left!).  Still, it is hard, always hard, to leave the most amazing person ever, who I love like crazy, even if only for a little while. 

Comments

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Sigh...I wish I could say I've worked on this since getting back from Wales, but I haven't. Wrote myself into a wall! This is in third person (my editor's insistence, grrr) and I'm not overly fond of it, so that hasn't helped. Still, I think I've figured out how to break out of the problem. Been super-busy at work, and went and signed up for something--lol, hp_darkfest? Hello, I saw it on your userpage. And pir8! Is she how you found me? Just curious. I'm signed up to that fest (though I've written maybe 2 HP fics) on a crazy whim, and via my into_officeboys lj.

In any case, thanks! And of course Brandon and Nick are in it. Of course.

(here's hoping this weekend allows me some good writing time, as I'm sure not getting it during the week!)

Friended back. Few of my posts are closed, but there's a few in there.