What I said was basically the following:
I am a cheat! How so? I am a Nano cheat, is what I actually mean. Nano starts officially Sunday, but having decided that I don't want my right arm to fall off, I'm shooting for 25-30k words. Roughly 1000 a day. I can handle that without waking up in the grips of agony as I did the other night (and which finally made me realize that my right arm hurt so bad because I had become addicted to Farmville and was going mad to make enough gold coins to buy a barn, and keep the cows I'm cowsitting happy). I woke up with claw-hand, terrible stabbing aches, so bad I got tears in my eyes. I've had severe, debilitating carpal tunnel before, and I Do Not Want It Again and I was well on my way. So, taking it easier now on my wee farm...but I enjoy it, making gold coins and buying cute little things, so am not quitting. LOL.
I've also already started my story which has 40k and a rough synopsis already and that of course is against the nanowrimo rules. Whatever. I don't care about 'winning' Nano, I care about writing every day, and getting myself out to meet other people. This last part will be tough for me as it goes against my nature, though plenty of events are in place to go to. I've gotten possibly too used to my happy place online (mah TW peeps), and meeting people outside of my happy bubble is hard for me, but from a quick check of the blogs of those planning to show up and write at the places I am interested in, they all lean the right direction interest-wise and view-wise, so I can knock some worries off. That is good. My entire public life here is not the real me, and it is tiring at times...if I am to make new friends, ANY friends here, I want to be totally out as the real me. If they don't like it, screw it. It is a pretty sad truth that I know next to no-one in my hometown, and the primary reason is because of my own lack of trust in people so I stay very guarded. Hard to get to know someone truly guarded, beyond superficially. I do great superficial, so great that people think they know me...not so.
I am tired of living like this.
As far as scheduling when to write other than during my lunch hour, looks like I've got some good peeps planning to show up at B&N. I'm going to be there Sunday morning when it opens to snag a table--possibly Saturday too. Probably. Next Friday, a group is meeting at the IHop over on Bryant-Irvin at 8 p.m. to write the night away. I shall be insane, and do that too. WTH. I want pancakes.
Mondays and Wednesdays are Flying Saucer nights. There is every reason to believe THAT group will be fun...not sure how much writing one can get done at a bar, but hey, I love the place, the food is good, and they have lots of beer to choose from. I might even have one. LOL. (Not much of a drinker, but Nick liked it there and we tried quite a few of the beers and ales and I found a few I liked). This is the Flying Saucer. It is way cool inside. Wonder if they have internet? (Although that defeats the purpose, right? Maybe it picks it up from B&N next door). The Fort Worth Flying Saucer is without doubt the coolest--it is in one of the oldest buildings in Fort Worth. (Old for Texas, my dear Europeans...) and is the original Flying Saucer.
Obviously, I must go and try write with beer in hand. This could be...interesting. I must hit the treadmill regularly so as not to gain weight--Nano could be dangerous!
I think I have about everyone added to my online group but ![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
valancy_joy but I will remedy that shortly. Anyone else? Holler! Find me! cparagraphs is me!
This should be good, and quite the adventure. And hey, I may just get that draft of my fic finished. It sure would be nice to send that puppy into my erstwhile editor before the end of the year! I already know which character's story I want to do next. Yes, true--can't seem to help it, he smacked me in the face the other day. Sigh.
I'm just happy, and very relieved, to be so focused for the first time in years. I finally feel a real desire to write again, I love my story, I'm excited to write it, finish it, go through all the fun of preparing it for publication, etc. It'll be really fun and interesting to see how a spinoff to Red does, and if it increases sells for that book too. I hope so!
And of course my ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif){kind=small}
reel_torchwood fic is coming along...The Gulls. Starting to get into the meat of the story, and am excited. Ianto's about to be attacked by an evil seagull! Whee! Can't wait to write that. Poor guy.
Work is much better too, and that helps. I am so extraordinarily happy with my new projects I was quiet all day, happily bubbling away with my road crossings and utilities research, Cody IM'd me, concerned. Asked me if I was okay, if anything was wrong. Love it. I swear he is my sanity there.
Night now--hope everyone is well, hanging in there. I'm trying my best to, myself.
C, trying to make things better here
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2009-10-30 04:39 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-10-30 04:46 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-10-30 05:04 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-10-30 12:14 pm (UTC)I still haven't figured out what one does with buddies, but mention it to her--would be happy to add her on here and there. You rock, so she must! (her lj makes that appear to be the case lol)
She's over here? I'm in Fort Worth, TX. Oh look she's in Irving. LOL not too far!
(no subject)
Date: 2009-10-30 03:36 pm (UTC)I'm really excited now about getting this turned into Loose-Id. I am sure they will faint in disbelief.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-10-31 12:31 am (UTC)I am getting antsy. I am ready to attack!
(no subject)
Date: 2009-10-30 06:57 am (UTC)I love what you said about not aiming to "win" NaNo but to write every day. And also what you said about showing more of who you are. *hugs*
It's not easy to find a comfortable balance between guarding one's privacy and being out. I think I don't even manage it on LJ - much more in private emails. But I have a hard time announcing some of the things that define me even to the public space of a f-locked f-list.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-10-30 03:41 pm (UTC)But I have a hard time announcing some of the things that define me even to the public space of a f-locked f-list.
I hear you, in spades, and lol you know why, oh dear Cats. But that is okay--being a woman of mystery is not too bad. I am pretty happy with the way things are right now (as is N) so that makes it easier.
I just do know that I must force/purposely-cause this one area of my life to grow. Now that I am fit, and healthy, it really should be easier, I think. This life of work-home-work-home-oh yeah, buying groceries-work-home really is not a happy life. I am not happy with it. So, am using Nano to, I hope, make some friends here. I need too--I am curling up and shriveling, and it scares me too muc to let it continue any further.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-10-30 07:41 pm (UTC)I am curling up and shriveling, and it scares me too much to let it continue any further.
Indeed, you shouldn't. *nods*
My situation is that I'm in high contact social situations (either groups or intense one-on-one talking) so much at work that I crave solitude. In busy times, this constantly crashes with friends wanting to see me. I sometimes think that I'm a loner, really, always craving for me-time and time spent alone - but then, a lot of this time I spent with online-friends, because they are a special group, and I trust some of them very much. The good thing is that I have a few very, very good RL friends who I can even stand when I'm craving solitude. Look out for those - they are worth it!
*hugs*
(no subject)
Date: 2009-10-30 11:02 am (UTC)Re the carpal tunnel problems, that's another reason I avoid NaNo. I had problems some years ago, though it was more to do with mousing than typing because it was right hand only. But I do not want to risk it happening again.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-10-30 03:43 pm (UTC)So, 25k is for me a perfect goal. :)
Nick is in London--was in Wales earlier this week. My jealousy knows no bounds. We're wanting to go back in teh Spring, and I hope it works out. Too early to make concrete plans though (depends on his finals, and what happens when he graduates).
(no subject)
Date: 2009-10-30 02:11 pm (UTC)I'm unconvinced about NaNo for me personally. Maybe next year!
:D
(no subject)
Date: 2009-10-30 03:33 pm (UTC)It looks good though. I am curiously excited about the group meeting at Flying Saucer. Those peeps have GOT to be cool, right???? lol
(no subject)
Date: 2009-10-30 02:22 pm (UTC)I grok the guarded thing, moreso now than I did when I was younger. There've been enough of the right/wrong sorts of experiences in the last few years for me to find myself in a similar position. I notice it and tend to fight it, but...yeah.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-10-30 03:48 pm (UTC)I crave being out there as me, but it scares me a little too. I should be content--thank heavens for the folks here, the folks who have become closer, private friends :), and for the fact my kids are way cool with their mum as I am. Really, that should be all I need, but it isn't...
My biggest problem is throwing myself at strangers--I automatically believe that they will be judgmental of me and my beliefs. Too many years in this conservative town (though it is changing, oh yes it is, but it will be a long, long haul--this being the home of the Southern Baptist seminary as we've talked about before).
I really am hoping to find some friends out of this. Friends I can tell about Nick and not get mind-boggled at, friends who I can say "Yes, I write gay romantic suspense for Loose-Id Publishing" and not be immediately looked down on as sick in the head.
I hope my dream of this is not impossible. I have to stay here a few more years at least, and just can't do this anymore.
(no subject)
Date: 2009-10-30 04:04 pm (UTC)I'll be cheering from the fruitstands. ;)
(no subject)
Date: 2009-10-30 02:48 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-10-30 03:48 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-10-30 04:14 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-10-30 03:29 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-10-30 03:49 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-10-30 03:50 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-10-30 06:28 pm (UTC)You can! So can I! Win 25k anyway... :)
(no subject)
Date: 2009-10-30 04:09 pm (UTC)I'm already on cparagraphs, right? I'm pretty sure I saw it in my flist just the other day....Okay, so I didn't see it there, but I think I'd like to be there. :)
HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVE! ;)
(no subject)
Date: 2009-10-30 06:16 pm (UTC)It will go well! I am excited. :)
(no subject)
Date: 2009-10-30 06:29 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2009-11-01 03:05 am (UTC)